In this transformative episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz confront the uncomfortable truths that most people spend their entire lives avoiding. Together, they reveal the three hard truths that saved their marriage and transformed their lives: why you're 99% responsible for your problems (and solutions), why the relationship with yourself determines everything else, and why comfort is slowly killing your growth. Laura opens up about watching Carl face his emotional illiteracy, while Carl shares his therapy breakthrough discovering the childhood emotion that controlled him for decades. They discuss everything from why your spouse can't fulfill all your needs to the dangerous lie that prayer alone will fix your problems, and why men who can't name their emotions become volcanoes waiting to explode.

This raw conversation exposes the victim mentality that keeps people stuck, the mirror test that changes everything, and why BBLs are the perfect metaphor for our culture's addiction to shortcuts. Whether you're tired of your own excuses, stuck in the same patterns, or ready to stop waiting for someone else to save you, this episode offers the brutal honesty needed for real transformation. Warning: This episode contains hard truths that will challenge your comfort zone and may trigger those committed to their victim stories.

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Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 -  Your Spouse Cannot Fulfill All Your Needs 

06:00 - Truth #1: You Are 99% The Problem AND The Solution

09:31 - The Victim Mentality & Morgan Wallen's Easy Way Out

21:24 - God Behind Bars Partnership

22:02 - Truth #2: The Most Important Relationship Is With Yourself

27:20 - Why Repressed Emotions Make You a Volcano

33:02 - Carl's Therapy Breakthrough: The Terror He Carried for 5 Years

37:03 - Plana.org Partnership: Help for the Unexpected

37:49 - Truth #3: Growth Only Happens Outside Comfort

40:33 - BBLs & Ozempic: Why Shortcuts Always Fail

43:55 - "Prayer Without Work Is Just Wishful Thinking"

46:05 - The One-Week Challenge: Live as Your Best Version

49:17 - "The Hard Truth Is I Love You"

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In this raw and unprecedented episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down for an exclusive interview with his wife Laura – the woman who chose to stay when 99.9% of people said she should leave. For the first time, Laura opens up about the moment that made her stay, the day-by-day survival strategy that saved their marriage, and the brutal honesty required to rebuild after betrayal. They discuss everything from losing their entire friend group to why Laura went to therapy for Carl's mistakes, and the uncomfortable truths about what really happens in intimate moments after infidelity. From the shock of discovering a hidden life to Christmas alone while Carl was in rehab, this conversation reveals how two people rebuilt from ground zero. Whether you're navigating betrayal, wondering if trust can be restored, or simply curious about what real redemption looks like, this interview offers hope without sugarcoating the cost. Warning: This episode contains discussions about infidelity, trauma, and the kind of honest conversations most couples never have.

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Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 - "Why Didn't You Walk Out On Me?" The Opening Question

02:02 - The Phone Call That Changed Everything: Carl's Childhood Trauma Revealed

05:04 - "One Day at a Time" - The Marriage Contract That Saved Us

09:01 - When Laura Reads the DMs (And Why Carl Has to Leave)

10:47 - The Brad Pitt Test: Would She Have Left?

11:53 - God Behind Bars Partnership

12:30 - Losing Our Church: The Friends Who Never Called

15:31 - How Laura Relearned Her Intuition After Betrayal

17:01 - The Beach Conversation That Sent Carl to Rehab

18:49 - Christmas Alone: When Healing Meant Separation

20:55 - "Laura Must Have Known" - Addressing the Cheap Shots

24:41 - Why "Biblical" Advice Almost Destroyed Us

30:13 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected

30:54 - The Friends We Lost (And Why It Feels Good Now)

38:42 - "Do You Worry I'll Cheat Again?" The Hard Question

42:11 - What She Really Thinks During Romantic Moments

45:23 - Euphoric Recall: The Addiction Truth Nobody Talks About

48:27 - Why Brutal Honesty Builds More Trust Than Perfect Answers

50:22 - The People Who Judge the Loudest Hide the Most

53:29 - Open Marriages, Honesty & Why Context Matters

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In this deeply personal episode of Lights On, a father sits down with his wife Laura and daughter to reveal the unconventional family culture that has their kids choosing couch time over parties. They dive into the "corny" traditions that actually work, why confrontation leads to clarity, and how making awkward topics conversational changed everything. From discussing porn at the dinner table to the "no snitch" rule they completely reject, this family shares raw insights on raising emotionally intelligent kids who actually want to be home. Whether you're struggling to connect with your teenagers or wondering why family dinners matter, this conversation offers practical wisdom mixed with laugh-out-loud moments and surprising tears. Warning: This episode might challenge everything you think you know about "appropriate" family conversations.

00:00 - Family Culture & Why Our Kids Choose Us Over Parties (Intro)

00:53 - Summer Jobs, Stripper Poles & Love Island Drama

04:30 - The Father's Day Dinner That Changed Everything

11:10 - Why "Corny" Family Traditions Actually Work

20:47 - How Close Families Can Be Annoying (The Warning)

21:47 - God Behind Bars Partnership

22:23 - Confrontation Creates Clarity: Our Family Rules

31:02 - The Power of Family Dinners (Harvard Study)

40:30 - Breaking the "No Snitch" Culture

44:41 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected

45:23 - Why We Talk About P*rn at the Dinner Table

Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

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Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

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In this episode, Carl and Laura Lentz reveal what the growth phase of healing actually looks like after 4.5 years of intensive therapy work. Discover why growth includes failure, conflict, and moments of joy - and why most people quit before reaching this transformative stage. Carl shares his experience completing a rigorous 4.5-year therapy program and why consistency over convenience became the key to lasting change. Laura breaks down how to navigate conflict as a sign of growth rather than regression, and why you need trusted voices (not each other) to tell you when it's time to move forward. They expose the hard truth about dragging reluctant spouses into healing work and reveal why 60-75% of couples who commit to intentional repair work stay together. This isn't about perfection - it's about building a life where even your failures become fuel for something better.

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In this episode, Carl and Laura Lentz reveal the 3-stage healing framework that saved their marriage after infidelity and public scandal. Discover why most people never truly heal from breakdown because they skip the discovery phase, try to heal while sprinting through life, and focus on cleaning up "leaves" instead of healing the root system. Carl shares his transformative experience at Onsite therapy and why being sorry you got caught is completely different from being sorry you made destructive choices. Laura breaks down why 60-75% of couples survive infidelity when they commit to intentional repair work and how removing shame from broken commitments becomes the key to rebuilding trust. This isn't about saving face - it's about transforming the person you're becoming so you never have to repeat these patterns again.

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In this episode, executive coach Janet Breitenbach reveals the integrity framework that's transforming high performers and why most people unknowingly sabotage their success. Discover the shocking difference between moral integrity and workability integrity, and learn why doing what you say you're going to do by when you say you're going to do it is the secret to unlocking your potential. Janet breaks down the survival needs keeping you stuck (look good, feel good, be right, be in control) and introduces the game-changing "Be, Do, Have" framework that flips traditional goal-setting on its head. Carl shares vulnerable stories about his own integrity struggles in ministry and how this work radically transformed his leadership. This isn't theory - it's battle-tested wisdom that will help you stop playing small and start creating the life you actually want.

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In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz dive deep into what it really means to listen. From miscommunication in marriage to growing through silence, they share personal stories about learning to hear each other—without judgment, defense, or distraction. If you’ve ever struggled to truly listen—or felt unheard—this one’s for you.

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In this revealing episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the hidden baggage that can make or break relationships. With divorce rates climbing above 50%, they share the critical questions you must ask before committing your life to someone.

The couple dives into relationship templates and patterns, revealing how your upbringing shapes your expectations in love. They explore the difference between healthy disagreement and toxic manipulation, offering practical tools to spot red flags early.

Carl and Laura also address the overuse of "narcissism" as a relationship buzzword, providing clinical insight into what true narcissistic behavior actually looks like versus normal selfishness or addiction-related patterns.

From money conversations to compatibility, they share the essential discussions every couple needs to have—and why waiting until after marriage might be too late.

This episode is a wake-up call for anyone who's ever wondered why their relationships keep following the same destructive patterns, offering hope and practical wisdom for building something better.

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As always, we appreciate you lights on listeners.

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In this powerful episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with longtime friend Andrew Simila for a raw, vulnerable conversation about healing after church hurt. The two reflect on their years of ministry at Hillsong, the fallout that followed, and the emotional wreckage left behind.

Andrew opens up about the personal cost of staying loyal, the silence that followed the scandal, and the hard work it took to rebuild from rock bottom. Carl shares how one unexpected phone call with Andrew became the turning point in his own healing journey.

Together, they explore what it really means to forgive, grow, and show up healthier than before—not for anyone else, but for yourself.

This episode of Lights On is a gripping reminder that restoration is possible, but only if you’re willing to do the work.

Chapter Markers:

00:00 - The Impact of Church Hurt

07:55 - Restoration Is Possible — But It Takes Work

15:30 - How Coaching Triggered a Healing Journey

23:06 - Trying to Rebuild Life After Hillsong

30:20 - Comfort vs. Growth: The Coaching Mindset

38:30 - What 'Church Hurt' Really Means

45:12 - The Real Work Behind Reconciliation

52:06 - Victim Mentality vs. Ownership

59:27 - How to Rewrite Your Story

1:06:57 - Digging Deep to Heal for Real Growth

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Your experience is real—but is it the whole truth? In this episode of Lights On, Laura and I unpack how to honor what you've been through without letting it hijack your future. We talk about healing, empathy, church hurt, relationships, and why holding your experience with humility might be the most powerful thing you can do right now.

This one's honest, unfiltered, and necessary. Let’s keep getting better—together.

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