Some part is not suitable for KIDS....So we are still waiting on our TAX and CTC. He is on unemployment and I can't work yet due to USCIS( green card) waiting on that so I can work. legit. I'm a rape victim I'm a abused surviver there is certain things that stop me from doing things that make me feel uncomfortable with my BODY. My man want me to get into camgirl with him at home, but due to my childhood experiences it stop me from feeling happy. I can't make no money and my man is not happy. He is not happy because I can't let what happen to me go. It's not my fault when I feel uncomfortable he don't get it. Life is so hard for me sometime only because I grew up all by myself with nobody else and when things happening to me so becoming a cam girl was very hard for me but I did try it for a little bit so he know that I don't mind but there is moments where I do feel uncomfortable because of my past experience have to do with it sex. I love him dearly and I wish that I didn't have my past if I did not have my past we would not be going through this but because of my past it's stopping me stopping my beauty from blossoming. I do apologize some of the words are not made for kids is not suitable for kids okay at that moment it was just him going off a little bit because we are struggling we are going through a tough time so he was just expressing his feelings but nothing that he said will or be done just to have an understanding everybody have a question and everybody have stress everybody have a lot of stuff going on and with this covid-19 and make things even worse in us having a baby things couldn't even get any worse but we are doing our best staying positive everyday I'm working through my USCIS papers recently today the 24th of August I got my interview you know just to get an update question and answers over a thousand question answers so now it's another wait so I'm crossing my fingers that everything goes well because I didn't they said I did something wrong by voting I didn't know but when I did vote I mean when I did what to do my paperwork they send me everything after I show them all my proof of my residency they still send me everything that I needed to vote so now they blaming it on me whatever the case is so I'm just waiting so by that it just making things so hard cuz our bills are piling up waiting to get help can't get help it's a lot so like I said it it was just a feeling he was just letting it out that's the title of my podcast let it out so it was just a thing we're going through and he was just expressing his feeling but I come him down you know we went for a walk we went to the park with the kids. we talked together and just move on to the next plan, just stay positive that's all we could do right now and do all part but other than that it was just letting it out it was just an expression of how he felt you know we get to hear the men side sometime we don't get to hear the man side how they FEEL about life because as a father who is here supporting his family it's hard on them too. being the man so he was just letting it out and I just caught it at that moment as you can tell he was driving there was music but you know this is Real life you get to hear. You get to hear a man Point of View like I said the man side how they really feel some of them really feel inside pain holding it in it's not just US women or females be holding stuff in. they hold stuff in too to look tough and the king we want. he was just expressing his feelings. I gave him that moment to express his feeling and let it out cuz I know it's hard on him too that's why I do my best to try to make him happy as best as I can not having focus on other things what was going on right now but the family and loving each other respecting everybody else around us and keeping our family safe. I love our family we just want to stop struggling, we doing everything I. Our power to keep Us from becoming FULL HOMELESS WITH 3 KIDS. God is
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