Spanking children is fine. In fact, it is more effective at deterring bad behavior than time-outs, deprivation, or lecturing—the tools of the so-called “gentle parents.”
The simple reality is that every parent who ever physically restrains a child who is out of control, in imminent danger, or to return them to the “time out place” etc. is already using corporal punishment. They are using restraint (which is painful) against the child’s body (corporal comes from the Latin word for body).
My argument is that it is much better to make the pain a child feels sharp, decisive, and complete rather than diffuse, drawn out, and incomplete.
Spanking is not abusive. It is disciplinary and responsive. Hitting, by contrast, is initiated violence with no or insufficient corrective purpose. Spanking does not aim at harming the child’s body.
At heart, the core point is that a parent has the right to use corporal discipline in order to protect a child’s body and to ensure the child is raised to reason and freedom.
For that to happen the parent must give the child needed resources and the child must obey the reason and guidance of the parent. This lasts until maturity and goes no further.
In this episode, I dive deeper into the topic in a way that I hope will clarify the issues at stake, not only for the family but for society at large.