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Episode 17What did you say? Why should we listen? Social interactions are what make our life happy according to Active Listening: the Art of Empathetic Conversation. So really investing in others makes us happy, what a novel idea! Maybe something from the golden rule? DO unto others as you would have them do unto you. So you invest in others, they invest in you and the cycle continues!We talked about some different types of listening in the last episode, check it out!Active, global and passive.‘Global Listening’This involves the listener focusing on the speaker and picking up more than what is being said. According to https://www.personal-coaching-information.com/levels-of-listening.html Webster:Essential Meaning of listen1: to pay attention to someone or something in order to hear what is being said, sung, played2—used to tell a person to listen to what you are saying (Listen, no one is more concerned about this problem than I am.)3: to hear what someone has said and understand that it is serious, important, or true. Communication theory talks about the sender, the receiver, the message and the noise. The noise is what is taking over the idea of actually listening to someone. Noise is our emails, phones, other people, our own thoughts working on our answers. “We may believe that we are good listeners, but listening is more that waiting for your turn to interrupt”Oh yes, and judgement…don’t judge or you will be judged by the same standard…Jesus said that in the Sermon on the Mount… We are judging people the whole time they are talking, or at least half, spending the other half thinking of our response. Our own bias gets in the way of our listening to a person, that is wrapped up in that judgement, even when it’s unconscious.Six steps to becoming an active listener:1. Show the person that you are listening: nodding your head raising your eyebrows or smiling2. Pay attention to the speaker, not your own thoughts. Be present in the moment, easier said than done. You will have thoughts, just keep them at a distance.3. Practice non-judgement, just receive the massage to the end.4. Tolerate silence. This is a big one! In Radical Candor, book by Kim Scott, she says to ask a question and count to 6 without engaging in the silence. Just let it happen!5. Paraphrase: “so what you’re saying is…”This will help to build trust as well according to (Weger 2021)6. Ask questions: when you finally respond, ask a question instead of stating your ideas.For more, check out the TED talk where Julian Treasure offers 5 more tips to improve your conscious listening. Verse of the day:Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19.We have used this one before, but it is so relevant! Being quick to listen, means really hearing what people are saying. How quickly do you get angry when you see something you don’t agree with online? Do you take the time to figure out where the person is coming from, or do you just to conclusions and since you are mostly safe, you speak your mind? Think about this verse next time you go to lash out at someone, quick listening, slow speaking. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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