There is a deep hum inside of you that will provide wisdom, to know what’s right in the moment by moment unfolding of your life. If you practice stillness, this reverb within can become more and more accessible.

…

Five years ago I was fired from a job. There were a whole host of reasons why I feel that was an unfair termination, but I’m not here to play the victim anymore. I’m here to tell you the story of my journey to accessing my inner wisdom.

If I close my eyes, I can immediately feel my way of being during the year I held that leadership position that I was fired from. In that year, I unconsciously took on this narrative that if everyone liked me, then I am doing my job. I am being a good leader. So, I propped up this version of me that I thought everyone would like. This person went along with everything. This person played nice. This person was a people pleaser. This person didn’t question authority. This person rarely spoke up his truth. Interestingly enough, when he did, he got fired.

The firing needed to happen. I went into a depression and while it was difficult, it was necessary. I was burned out. My body said, “F**k you dude, we’re not doing this anymore. We need to power down. This version of you that you’re propping up to everyone is exhausting. It’s not you.” So my body depressed. It craved DEEP REST.

I didn’t know it then but what was unfolding was beautiful.

I needed to get quiet.

I needed to be still.

I needed to escape the noise in my head.

If you’re like me, you spend all day in your head. Living in stories, fantasies, future worlds that could be. You see, my thoughts are like car parts on an assembly line. They keep going and going and they never end.

But what happened during this time in my life was that in the quiet, I learned to separate my identity from my thoughts. For me, this was accessed through the practice of meditation. In this practice, I got to know another part of me that I never knew existed, and yet it was always there. This part of me could just…observe. It was what the mystics call my Inner Observer. If the whole of me was the universe, then my thoughts would be the reality of the cosmos; and this Inner Observer would be dark matter. Like dark matter, my Inner Observer is the invisible layer within that mysteriously and inexplicably holds everything together. Almost as if in secret, this part of me was hidden within the nothingness of which the everything-ness is born out of.

Let me call something out. What I might be badly attempting to articulate in this moment is the truth of our infinite nature, as humans. To describe the Infinite through an inherently finite practice of writing will always feel inadequate, but hopefully you can feel where I am pointing towards.

I must apologize. I don’t know if I’m making sense. But in a way, the place I am pointing towards is beyond our intellectual comprehension. All I know is that we are made of it.

I think it’s what the Jewish rabbi, Abraham Joshua Heschel, was pointing towards when he said this,

“The meaning of awe is to realize that life takes place under wide horizons. Horizons that range beyond the span of an individual life or even the life of a nation, a generation, or an era. Awe enables us to perceive in the world intimations of the divine. To sense in small things, the beginning of infinite significance. To sense the ultimate, in the common and the simple. To feel in the rush of the passing, the stillness of the eternal."

What I do not want to do in today’s #sundaykindofblog is to offer you information. You can get information anywhere. We’re living during an unprecedented time of information abundance.

Instead, what I want to create is space in between your breaths for a feeling to come through. Listen for that feeling. Some people call it Love. Some people call it the Divine within. Some people call it God.

Listen for it.

Trust yourself.

Go within.

It’s that part of you that has always sustained you when you thought everything was over.

It’s that part of you that believes that somehow, when a loved one passes away, that you’ll see them again. Or if you don’t believe that, there’s a part of you that believes you’ll always be connected to them. It’s that part.

This part of you that doesn’t have to just show up every now and then in your life. You can access it today. It’s your nature. It IS you. You may have just forgotten.

If you remember though, that you are made of the infinite, then imagine what your work will look like. Imagine what your leadership will look like. Imagine what new risks you’d be willing to take. Imagine the force of nature that you can become. Imagine what you could create if you come from this place.

I believe in you.

It’s possible.

I know because I’ve seen it with the people I work with.

I know because I’ve experienced it.

Ultimately, it’s undeniable.

You are love.

You are whole.

You are made of the Infinite.

Love.

Jomar

Photo by Reuben on Unsplash

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