In a Seinfeldian discussion (“What’s the deal with Black Friday?”) the gorilla your dreams get into the weeds of the question of what discounted thing would either elbow jack an old woman for in a Walmart? Also on deck is the question of what we all did before the internet, that science proves men live longer if they stare at boobs, how naked twins in a shopping cart do ‘sexy stuff,’ and David’s trials with Prince Harry’s fake remote control.

As always, six items of homework for you lost and sad souls to engage in following your turkey-induced coma.