Have you ever done something and thought, “why did I do that?”

Do you struggle to understand others, and maybe yourself, at times?

Today is for you if…

Our motivation is the reason we act or behave a particular way.

What is an Unconscious Motivation?

Our unconscious motivations, then, are the motivations that drive us, and we’re not aware of them.

It’s us responding to our deepest concerns, and it’s one of the ways we adapt and stay safe in the world.

Type 1 - Strict Perfectionist (or Improver)

Need to protect self, others and the world; to be right and avoid fault or blame.

Type 2 - Considerate Helper

The need to be liked and meet the needs of others is their strategy to secure appreciation and love.

Type 3 - Competitive Achiever

Need to succeed, to appear successful and avoid failure

Type 4 - Intense Creative

Need to be seen, belong and recover wholeness.

Type 5 - Quiet Specialist (or Investigator)

The need to know and understand everything.

Type 6 - Loyal Sceptic

Need to feel safe, secure and supported.

Type 7 - Enthusiastic Visionary

Avoid experiencing unpleasant, psychologically or emotionally painful or distressing feelings.

Type 8 - Active Controller

Deny and mask weakness and vulnerability; assert strength.

Type 9 - Adaptive Peacemaker

Need to connect with others, keep the inner and outer peace or harmony, avoid conflict at all costs

Why change our unconscious motivation?

It’s like our unconscious motivation took over while we’ve been asleep at the steering wheel.

We’ve got to wake up so we can take our control back.

When you develop yourself, you change your world.

So what do you do with this unconscious motivation?

EMCA tool to help develop yourself.

1. Example

Think of a time when you had a negative action or reaction.

2. Motivation

What motivated this behavior, or what were your intentions?

This is you uncovering your unconscious motivation at work.

3. Consequence

See how your unconscious motivation affects you and others.

What were the results of acting that way? Good? Bad?

How is this behavior working for you?

Is it helping or hinder you from become your best self and fulfill your God-given purpose?

4. Alternative

What alternative behaviors would have supported your intentions better?

Or what could you have done that would have led to better results?

When you walk yourself through this process, it brings your unconscious motivation to light.

When we’re conscious of why we do what we do, that’s when we can make changes.

When we develop ourselves, we change our world.

Do you need a safe place you can develop yourself?

A place where you can learn (and practice) to uncover your unconscious motivations and wake up so you can take the steering wheel back.

Courageous Club is a safe place to stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose. Check out all the details at Courageous.club.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Do you get down on yourself when you make a mistake?

Can you celebrate yourself when you win?

What would it take to make you happy with yourself?

Almost all of us have struggled with believing in ourselves and our abilities at some point. So today, I want to share how you can shift your belief in yourself, five sentences at a time.

So, today is for you if…

“What would it take to make you happy?”

That’s what my husband Bob asked me after I was down on myself…again.

“I want a paying curriculum client,” I touted.

A few weeks later, a potential client said she was ready to get started! Woohoo!

Think I was happy?

Nope.

My issue was I didn’t believe I was doing enough, so I couldn’t be happy with myself.

Fast-forward to today. I ran into an issue with our cell bill. After that issue was worked out, I realized how much I’d grown. Generally, in a situation involving money, I panic, get frazzled and usually cry.

I made the calls and worked through it this time without panicking.

Why do I mention my cell bill?

I was celebrating my progress!! Not panicking over money issues was a serious win for me!

One of the best ways I learn to do that is with ACKNOWLEDGMENTS.

Acknowledgments are sentences you write out, acknowledging yourself for your forward movement…ANY forward movement.

It’s celebrating our wins!

But each day you acknowledge yourself for forward movement, aka celebrate yourself, it will compound and make a massive difference over time.

It’s like compound interest. It’s tiny at first, but overtime is a powerful force.

Here’s what else Acknowledgements will do for you:

1. You’re practicing celebrating your wins.

It’s easy to celebrate someone else, but we must practice celebrating ourselves.

2. When you notice wins, you see more wins.

You put your RAS - reticular activating system to work for you. You’re telling your brain your wins are important to you, and you’ll start seeing more.

For more on the RAS, see the resources below.

3. It shifts your belief in yourself overtime.

You’ll shift from “I can’t” to “I can”…overtime.

Compound interest, baby!

Here are the Guidelines for Create Acknowledgements:

Enjoy and celebrate you! As you do, you’ll begin shifting your belief in yourself.

Resources

Courageous Club is a 12-month coaching membership where you can learn (and practice) to stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose. Check out all the details at Courageous.club.

Your Fearless Journey with Becky, Kat and Heather episode 21 - It’s all about the RAS. https://open.spotify.com/episode/4YTEzcvyTUBjjjfQffuCdU?si=ac8a86e999854886

*The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy

https://amzn.to/3ksLROS

*Book is an Amazon affiliate link; if you purchase through any of these links, I will receive a small commission.

What do you do when you’re stuck in an anxiety loop?

Do you hide, crawl in a corner, go into flight or fight?

Is anxiety holding you back from your dreams or stepping out and living a courageous life?

Do you have a plan for when the anxiety comes and rears its ugly head?

We’re continuing our series on how to jump off the anxiety rollercoaster. I’ll give you some practical tools and ways to release anxiety and feel better quickly.

Today is for you if…

Today, I’m giving you a toolbox, a Batman utility belt, so you know what you’re going to do when the anxiety comes.

Physical Releases:

Mental/Emotional Releases:

Spiritual Releases:

These spiritual practices will help you rest in Father’s presence, knowing He loves you and has you in his hands. In that safe place, we can let go of anxiety.

You can also use the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God,” as sit-in-silence practice. I shared how in podcast episode 97.

Remember that everyone’s experience with anxiety is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Experimenting with different strategies to find what works best for you might be helpful.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Resources

Courageous Club is a 12-month coaching membership where you can learn (and practice) to stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose. Check out all the details at Courageous.club.

Anxiety Rx: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief from the Doctor Who Created It by Dr. Russell Kennedy: https://amzn.to/3QIIn6U

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode–and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber: https://amzn.to/3QJzeen

The Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing: https://amzn.to/3ksldFy

(Workbook to go along with Try Softer book)

*Books are Amazon affiliate links; if you purchase through any of these links, I will receive a small commission.

Does anxiety ever hit you out of nowhere?

When you're trying new things, do you feel super anxious?

When you feel anxious, does it permeate your whole body, and you're unsure what to do?

When we're in overthinking mode, it can feel like a one-loop rollercoaster. And overthinking doesn't just stay in our heads…anxiety can get trapped in our bodies!

So today is for you if…

When I started fainting from fear, I noticed that my body would react too. My chest got tight, my face got hot, oh, and my ears felt like fire. Then I felt heat radiate my entire body, and down I went.

I fainted every month or two for the following year. I noticed that my body would trigger when I walked into certain rooms.

I began studying the mind-body connection and discovered the trauma I was experiencing got trapped in my body. That's why I could walk into a room and be triggered even before my mind kicked in. It was like an alarm in my body went off saying, "something is wrong in here!" Yikes!

I could work through this body trigger or alarm when I learned the ABCs of anxiety. (These concepts come from Dr. Russell Kennedy's book Anxiety RX)

A – Awareness:

Become aware of being aware.

Ask yourself where the alarm in your body is.

Where does the alarm show up in your body? Name it.

B – Body:

Hold your hand on the place of alarm in your body.

Now…Breathe…breathe through it and let the alarm melt away.

It slows down your heart rate and relaxes your muscles.

It also gets you out of your head and grounds you in your body in the present moment.

C – Connection:

Connect with yourself and love yourself through the alarm.

Give yourself grace because God does too.

Now, let's go a step further with D & E.

D – Discipline:

Practice the ABCs consistently.

This will constantly keep you working through the alarm and releasing that anxiety out of your body.

E – Ego:

Our ego will try and keep us from being vulnerable and trying again.

I can't let the fear of fainting again keep me from what God's called me to do.

The same goes for you.

When you use the ABCs plus DEs, you can release that anxiety and jump off the anxiety rollercoaster.

One more thing…this advice is not to replace the need for a counselor or therapist.

If you need help, please see a therapist or counselor, especially one that can help you with bodywork.

You've got this, and Father's got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Anxiety Rx: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief from the Doctor Who Created It by Dr. Russell Kennedy: https://amzn.to/3QIIn6U

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber: https://amzn.to/3QJzeen

The Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing: https://amzn.to/3ksldFy

(Workbook to go along with Try Softer book)

*Amazon affiliate links, and I'll receive a small commission if you purchase through these links.

Do you have anxiety on speed dial?

Have you ever felt like you're on a one-loop roller coaster of fear?

Do the "what if's" have you trapped in the worry spin-cycle?

We all experience anxiety. It can feel like we're on a one-loop rollercoaster with no way out. But there is a way out.

So, today is for you if…

I grew up in a culture of achievement, but we've flip-flopped. We are in a worry/fear-based culture. Even our kids are experiencing anxiety like never before.

More people are on anxiety meds than ever before. It's become a normal part of life.

When God said, "I know the plans I have for you," I don't think that anxiety was a part of that plan. I believe God wants us to experience life differently.

Worry is like the what if…

What if a spider comes after me in the middle of the night?

Fear is when that issue is right there in your presence.

That spider would be right there.

This definition of anxiety comes from Sissy Goff, a therapist and author of Raising Worry-Free Girls.

Anxiety is an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of yourself.

What are you anxious about that you're overestimating the problem and underestimating yourself?

Not only is anxiety an underestimation of ourselves, but it's also an underestimation of our God and how capable He is of handling your problem.

Ask these two questions to help jump off that anxiety rollercoaster:

First, think about one thing you're anxious about. Now, ask yourself:

1. Do you have control to make a change in this situation?

If you say no–give it to God.

Then He gives you peace.

Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

If you say yes, you have control or some control to make a change; ask yourself…

2. What would I do if I did know what to do?

Just pretend for a second and answer that question.

Then do that!

Most of the time, we know what to do but are too afraid or underestimate ourselves.

Go back to, there is more in you than you thought possible and that our God is so much bigger than our problem!

So many times when we're on the spiral anxiety loop, we forget just how big our God is.

Put that problem in perspective.

Put yourself in perspective.

Put your God in perspective.

We serve a big God and can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us!

You've got this, and Father's got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Resources:

Courageous Club is a 12-month coaching membership where you can learn (and practice) to stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose. Check out all the details at Courageous.club.

*Raising Worry-Free Girls: Helping Your Daughter Feel Braver, Stronger, and Smarter in an Anxious World by Sissy Goff: https://amzn.to/3koWsdK

What do you do when pursuing your purpose and the going gets tough?

Do you crawl into the corner in the fetal position?

Do you get frantic or panic?

Do you lash out in stress or anger?

We're closing out this five-part series on Quick Pick Me Ups When the Going Gets Tough by discovering what we need when we're in the middle of these challenging moments.

Today is for you if…

I ran into challenges as I was on my journey to fulfilling my God-given purpose. I didn't know what to do, felt alone, had low self-esteem, and had a multiple-year depression. But the big one was when I tried to move out of my comfort zone; I would faint.

You need to know what you need so you're ready when the challenges come and keep moving forward toward pursuing your God-given purpose.

Here are three questions to help you think through what you need when the tough times come your way:

1. What do you need to get unstuck?

I needed someone to hold space for me and believe in me until I could believe in myself.

I need to know Father believed in me and wasn’t disappointed in me.

2. What do you need to keep moving forward?

Here’s what I needed:

Tools I can pull out at any time, like breathing through fear so I can release it.

Accountability to do what I want to do for myself.

Guide who has been where I want to be.

3. What attitude or mindset do you need to succeed at achieving your goals that help you reach your dreams and your purpose?

The attitudes and mindsets I needed to adopt were:

Grace

Perspective – Andy Andrews helped me see, "I can't do everything, but I can do something."

Positive attitude

Hope - Hope is a confident expectation.

Courageous mindset - I can do it afraid.

What do you need?

What do you need so you can get unstuck and keep moving? What attitude or mindset do you need to adopt to achieve your dreams and fulfill your God-given purpose?

Maybe you need a guide that holds space for you and believes in you until you can believe in yourself.

Do you need a safe place so you can stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given?

Do you need someone to hold you accountable to accomplish your goals so you can move forward toward your dreams?

Do you need a place where you're loved, supported and celebrated?

That's why I created the Courageous Club!

Doors are NOW OPEN to join the Courageous Club. For more information and to join, head over to Courageous.club

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

I want you to think about your dreams and goals right now.

Do you struggle with perfectionism, which keeps you from putting yourself out there?

Are you afraid to step out because you don’t have the entire plan figured out yet? If you don’t, something could go wrong, right?!

Let me ask you; are you still in research mode, and it’s been 6 or 12 months? Or you’ve been saying you’re going to do this for three years and haven’t started yet?

Challenges come when we pursue our dreams. We need some pick-me-ups to keep us going when the going gets tough.

Today is for you if…

When we’re growing, there’s so much we need to learn, but there is also something we need to let go of to achieve our dreams and do what God put in our hearts to do.

So here are three things we need to let go of to fulfill our God-given purpose:

1. You don’t need to be PERFECT…You just need to be CONSISTENT

We will never be perfect. It’s impossible. And if you’re waiting to put yourself or your work out into the world until it’s perfect, you’ll be waiting a long time.

Only God is perfect, and He doesn’t expect us to be perfect either…p.s. that scripture that says, “Be perfect as I am perfect,” means to grow in stages.

If God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, why do we put that on ourselves?

Ask yourself, why do I really need to be perfect?

Just show up, be consistent, and keep moving forward. I promise you’ll make progress.

2. You don’t need to HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT…You just need to TAKE THE NEXT STEP

If you’re a planner, this one may be your Achilles’ heel.

Plans don’t always go as you planned.

Don’t let the need to have a plan all figured out hold you captive from moving forward.

Just take the next step.

3. You don’t need to KNOW EVERYTHING…You just need to USE WHAT YOU DO KNOW

If you’re stuck in research mode, you might feel like people will think you’re incompetent if you don’t know enough.

We really get stuck in research mode because of fear.

Remember the little boy in the Bible that gave Jesus his five loaves of bread and two fishes? That little boy gave what he had, and Jesus turned it.

We don’t have to know everything to fulfill our God-given purpose.

All of these things we don’t need are forms of fear. They’re keeping us stuck and preventing us from fulfilling our God-given purpose.

God has a beautiful, special plan for you. But it’s not going to just drop in our lap. God gives us the tools, wisdom, legs, mouth and hands to make things happen.

We don’t have to make it happen alone. God’s with us. He also brings people on our path to guide and support us. Do you have someone to come aside you to help you fulfill your God-given purpose?

That’s why I’m offering the Courageous Club. It’s opening up tomorrow…Friday, January 13th!

It’s for you if you’re like I was, and you’re a bird in a cage with the door open but are too afraid to fly out. But, you’re tired of living that way…Courageous Club just might be for you.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Do you struggle with believing in yourself?

Do you beat yourself up when you make a mistake or miss a deadline?

Do you doubt you have a calling or question you can fulfill it?

It’s part 3 of Quick Pick Me Ups When the Going Gets Tough. When we’re reaching for our dreams, and it challenges, what do you do when the obstacle to fulfilling your dreams is yourself?

So today is for you if…

You need to know who you are in the middle of a struggle. That will pick you up and help you keep going in the tough situation.

When I started my journey to fulfill my dreams and fulfill my God-given purpose and hit a challenge, I would say things to myself like…

I was getting in my own dang way and got stuck right there at that moment.

But that’s not what God says about me. That’s not really who I am.

If God has called you to fulfill your dreams (and He has), you need to see yourself as He sees you.

Some people say, “Fake it till you make it.”

God says, “Faith it till you make it.”

Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

We must shift the way we see ourselves (our identity).

Instead of saying, “I can’t, I’m not, I’m….”

Say, “I’m the kind of person who….”

You could say things like:

Today, I want you to take some time and think through what you say about yourself when the challenges come. It gets tough when you’re trying to fulfill your dreams.

What do you say to yourself about yourself? Write that down.

Now, create a new statement that says, “I’m the kind of person who….” And then fill in the blank.

When you want to say a negative comment to yourself, shift your identity and say, “I’m the kind of person who….”

It will help pick you up when the going gets tough.

Now, if you’re someone with a dream in your heart and you’re on the journey, but you’re stuck; if fear is holding you back from moving forward again, then maybe the Courageous Club is for you. Doors open Friday, January 13th. Keep an eye out for more info to see if this might be your next step to get you unstuck.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Have you ever shared a dream only to be rejected? Or laughed at?

Do you feel alone pursuing your dreams?

Have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you thought had your back?

We’re continuing our podcast series Quick Pick Me Ups When the Going Gets Tough because, let’s face it, when we’re pursuing our God-given purpose, it gets tough. What do you do when the challenges come? We’re going to talk about that. Today is all about the people has your back that help you do that thing you’re called to do.

So, I’m talking to you today if…

Today I want to ask…do you know who’s got your back?

I grew up thinking everyone had my back…until the 6th grade when my best friend of three years turned on me. From there that point the wall went up.

I was afraid from that point to let someone have my back because I thought I’d get stabbed in the back again.

Until life coach Leisa Jenkins showed me there are people in this world who will believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself–yet.

Then the Women of Audacious Faith community reinforced that belief and helped me tear down the wall that kept people out for so long.

You know someone has your back when…

1. You can be yourself around them.

Do you feel safe around them or not?

Feeling safe allows you to come out of your shell and show up fully yourself.

2. You can say the hard things to help each other grow.

It’s not comfortable to say hard things to each other. But we must to grow.

It’s like a rose bush. You have to prune the bush for it to flourish. When you prune it right, that rose bush grows stronger and more beautiful.

You know you have each other’s back when you can say and receive the hard things that will let us grow back stronger and more beautiful than ever.

3. You can celebrate wins together without competition.

Comparing ourselves is unwise and never helps us be our best selves.

You need to be able to share your wins and also celebrate their wins without feeling bad.

There’s enough awesome to go around. So you can freely celebrate one another.

If you’re a businesswoman looking for a community of like-minded women like I was talking bout, here’s a link to Women of Audacious Faith Business Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wafcommunity

If you’ve got a dream in your heart, but you’re stuck, the Courageous Club might be that missing piece to help you be yourself, hear and say the hard things to each other and celebrate each other’s wins, so you can pursue your God-given calling–with people who have your back!

So get ready; doors will open Friday, January 13th…yep, Friday the 13th. It’s God’s day, so we don’t have to go by superstitious mumbo jumbo to live our Life Fearlessly Free.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

Do you have a dream or a goal, and you have lost your navigation already?

Do you feel like quitting when the going gets tough?

When you’re in the messy middle, do you ever wonder if it’s worth it all?

We’re starting a new series called Quick Pick Me Ups When the Going Gets Tough.

It isn’t always smooth sailing when working towards our dreams to live our God-given purpose.

It isn’t just a make-a-plan, and then it’s a straight path from A to Z to fulfilling it. No! It’s all over the place.

It usually doesn’t happen like you thought it would.

Today is for you if…

The first quick pick me up that is the key to getting through the messy middle of achieving our dreams is:

Know Your Why.

My why is my girls. It started when my oldest daughter was two years old. I remember crying out to God in the hallway because I wasn’t sure how to parent my strong-willed daughter.

God shared that fulfilling my dreams will help me pave the way for my girls and show them what’s possible. That’s my why!

We must know why we’re doing this or when the going gets tough, we’ll quit.

Your why needs to pull on your heartstrings. It needs to move you.

The best way to discover your why is to go to God and ask Him to reveal it.

“Father, here’s the dream in my heart.”

“Why do I need to accomplish this? What’s my why, my anchor?”

Simon Sinek has a great book called Start With Why. That can also help you discover your why.

Knowing your why helps you through the messy middle.

Keep going back to your why when it gets challenging or boring to keep you moving forward.

Knowing your why reminds you of the bigger picture.

It helps you pull back from this snapshot in time to see the bigger picture.

You can use your why like Suzy Welsh uses her 10/10/10 rule.

Knowing your why keeps you focused on what you need to do

Knowing your why keeps you focused on what you need to do to move forward instead of on the issue, struggle or feeling trying to get you to quit.

If you need some help getting through the messing middle to fulfill your dreams, the Courageous Club might just be the missing piece.

So get ready; doors will open Friday, January 13th…yep, Friday the 13th. It’s God’s day, so we don’t have to go by superstitious mumbo jumbo to live our Life Fearlessly Free.

You’ve got this, and Father’s got you!

Thanks a Bunch for listening!

Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!