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Feeling close shouldn’t feel complicated, yet so many couples end up living like polite roommates. We explore how that slow drift happens and what it really takes to turn back toward each other with clarity, courage, and care. Using the “monkey trap” metaphor, we unpack the defenses that keep love at arm’s length—self-reliance, secrecy, emotional walls, addiction, FOMO, and denial—and share how those patterns formed for us, how they hurt, and how we let them go.

From there, we get practical with Dr. Sue Johnson’s ARE framework: Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement. Accessibility asks if your partner can reach you when it counts, and how to hear the emotion beneath the words. Responsiveness focuses on empathy over advice, acknowledging that “I’m with you” beats “here’s how to fix it.” Engagement is the daily proof that your spouse is your priority—eye contact, gentle touch, protected time, and shared activities that make home feel safe again. We walk through a vivid story of a couple missing each other in a moment of stress, then rewrite the conversation with validation and warmth to show how connection is rebuilt in real time.

We round it out with actionable habits: check in before making plans, call each other first with news, guard a weekly date from hot topics, pick a hobby to enjoy together, prioritize sex and its bonding power, cuddle more, find couple friends who lift you up, speak needs out loud, and dream toward a future you both want. Along the way, we ground the journey in faith, honest self-examination, and, when needed, wise counseling. The goal is simple and bold: move from living alone together to a marriage where you can confidently answer, “Yes, you can count on me.”

If this helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a quick review so more couples can find these tools. What’s one small habit you’ll start this week?

Reconnected - G&ES

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