Living Love

How do we create group experiences where people feel at home? How can we come out of separation back into healthy groups so we can co-create and learn together? In conversation with Bruce Nayowith, we explore the contexts that bring out the best in people. We weave insights from trauma-informed research and practice, neuroscience, and many sources, including Thomas Hubl, The Pocket Project, The Art of Hosting, Riane Eisler, Dan Siegel, Sarah Peyton, and the Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving address. These stories offer practical ideas on how to strengthen relational connections and trust.   

Resources and links: 

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

Still face experiments - This video shows an example of an experiment where a mother attuned and interacted with her baby. Then she showed up with a still expression and you see how much it affects the baby to lose this responsive connection.

Alarmed Aloneness - This video course from Sarah Peyton shares the about the neuroscience of this type of loneliness, which is common in Western cultures that “prize self-sufficiency and hyper-individualism.

Peter Senge - The Fifth Discipline (book)

Thomas Huebl - website and Healing Collective Trauma (book)

The Pocket Project

Carl Jung, The Psychology of the Transference (book)

Riane Eisler - Researcher, author, and speaker  exploring the history of domination and partnership oriented societies.

Ernest Becker's Escape From Evil (book)

Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia (Book)

Dan Siegel's Neurobiological Trauma (Book)

Tom Atlee, The Co-intelligence Institute

Honoring the Four Directions - Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving address - "the words spoken before all other words"

Orthodox Jewish tradition of Berakhah

The Art of Hosting

For a transcript of this episode see: Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Welcome back to Season 3 of the Living Love podcast!

One of our listeners said “This podcast reminds me that human relationships are the core of social change.”

Sadly, in too many workplaces, classrooms and communities, we have people feeling isolated, unsafe, or not welcome. When people lack this warm connection with others, they can enter a state called “alarmed aloneness.”

Whereas when people are in healthy social connection, this allows them to relax, think creatively, and learn together. In Season 3, the podcast will explore how we can create environments where people “feel at home.”

In our conversations with guests, we’ll look at how to make someone feel “at home” in  interpersonal interactions, as well as in teams and workplaces. We’ll explore how communities are engaging people to create homes for all. We'll also look at what it means to welcome the newcomer and how multiple cultures can live together. As part of that, we’ll learn how we can be at home with difference and find a way to transform conflict.

Episode 1 of the new season drops on April 16th – stay tuned!

Thank you for listening!

For more information on Beth Tener and this podcast see: Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Episode 10: Season 2 -  Join Beth and Nancy Gabriel as they reflect on highlights and learning from episodes 6 to 9 in Season 2. We explore how having the support of a group can help us in times of big decisions and in the hardest times of loss. These are stories of what belonging and healing can look like - the opposite of loneliness. When we accompany each other and acknowledge grief and fear, it can help us move through the experience. Beth shares stories of how a community created participatory rituals to honor the loss of a loved one, recognizing that a community can hold grief in ways we can’t do alone. We also explore how restoring the flow of giving and receiving can allow people to translate their care into tangible action, in the hardest times.  

Resources and links:

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

How We Heal: Podcast with Michael Bischoff: This podcast and transcript shares more of Michael Bischoff’s wisdom around healing while dying.

On Joy and Sorrow: poem by Kahlil Gibran

Soft Shoe Shuffle from Deep Democracy – This facilitation method offers an embodied way for a group to name tensions and see who is also feeling them.

Transcript: at Kinship web site.
Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Episode 9: Season 2 - Community and friendship can provide the support and comfort to cope with the death of a loved one. In this podcast episode, Beth shares personal stories of how her community created meaningful rituals to honor her husband after he died of cancer. She is joined by her friend, Adam, who brings insights from his training in hospice and Buddhist practices relating to dying and grieving. They explore the challenges of how to make sense of a big loss and how to journey through the times of grief. This conversation can support those going through loss with insights and encouragement to be in “Slow Time.”

Resources and links:

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

The Geography of Sorrow: Interview with Francis Weller about navigating our losses in the Sun Magazine 

Pema Choedron, a Buddhist teacher, author, nun and mother, has written many books and articles about how to relate to difficult times. Adam mentioned her teachings on the wisdom of no hope (or no escape.)

Tibetan Book of Living and Dying - by Sogyal Rinpoche, who shared Tibetan teachings. He said the aim of the book was to “inspire a quiet revolution in the whole way we look at death and care for the dying and the whole way we look at life, and care for the living.”

Narayan Helen Liebenson - The Buddhist meditation teacher who was a helpful guide during a retreat at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA.

Creating Permaculture Gardens and Landscapes - my favorite book called Gaia’s Garden: A Guide to Home-Scale Permaculture by Toby Hemenway

Collaboration Lessons from the Basketball Court - A blog I wrote about the joy and learnings I got from a regular pick-up basketball game with friends. 

Transcript: at Kinship web site.

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Episode 8: Season 2 - In these times of great transition and change, we will encounter the experience of a crucible, where we have to face loss, letting go, and dying. How can we support each other through these most difficult times? In this episode, Beth shares her personal story of accompanying her partner going through cancer. She is joined by Greta Bro and they explore “the dark night of the soul,” that time of life where everything you're trying isn't working, where the life you knew is “destructured.” The stories bring us to the deeper truth of life and show how love, care, and accompaniment of friends can support us in times of crisis and endings.

Resources and links: 

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

Greta Bro’s web site – Learn about Greta’s work as a singer/songwriter, psycho-spiritual healer and guide, poet, and activist blending in the arts.

Love’s Song – Listen to Greta’s album

Transcript: at Kinship website.

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Episode 7: Season 2. How can kinship and community support us in the most challenging times, such as when we suddenly face the cancer journey? Beth shares the story of how she and her community supported her fiance, Rick, as he went through cancer. Her guest is Margie Zohn, a leadership coach, who was a close friend in those times. They share stories of how Rick brought humor and humanity into every hospital room and how caregiving can be a profound experience of love. As they reflect on how their community rallied in many creative ways, they show that opening to receive help allows people to be their most human and generous.  

Resources and links:

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

Zohn Coaching - Margie’s web site for her coaching work

Margie Zohn’s web site - Margie’ web site with her work as a Director, Performer, and Coach for performers

Al Forno - Rick’s favorite pizza restaurant in Providence, RI - they grill pizza over a wood fire

Water Fire in Providence, RI - See images of this public art event that was mentioned in the podcast

YogaLife Teacher Training Program - This was the yoga teacher training program Beth was participating in.

How to Comfort Someone When They’re in the Hospital - article

Transcript: Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

How do you decide when you reach a threshold or crossroads? In this episode, Beth talks with Tenneson Woolf, a facilitator, coach, and poet, about how we make big decisions, careful not to let fear be in the lead. We explore how we can slow down as we make decisions, on a personal level or with groups, and use listening and other methods to help with discerning. These two facilitators share a range of methods and stories from their work.

Resources and links: 

Tenneson Woolf’s web site - His web site includes the Human to Human Blog; Announcements of Events; and Resources & Inspirations

Most Mornings and In My Nature -  These are books of Tenneson’s poetry

The Circle Way web site - We mentioned a way of having conversations sitting in a circle. This web site has more resources on this process.

The Artist’s Way tool called Morning Pages - Julia Cameron’s book provides a suite of tools for “creative recovery.” This links to a short video about Morning Pages.

Tell Me More: On the Fine Art of Listening - article by Brenda Ueland 

The Two Loops Model from Berkana Institute - This video by Deborah Frieze shares this theory of change: “As one system culminates and starts to collapse, isolated alternatives slowly begin to arise and give way to the new.” Also, see this article by Margaret Wheatley Supporting Pioneering Leaders as Communities of Practice How to Rapidly Develop New Leaders in Great Numbers

Soft Shoe Shuffle from Deep Democracy - This facilitation method offers an embodied way for a group to see where there is agreement.

The World Cafe - This facilitation method offers a way for many small groups to discuss a topic and then mix and cross-pollinate the conversations.

Transcript: Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

Resources and links: 

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

The Joy & Necessity of Micro-Collaborations: This two-part blog by Beth Tener is full of examples of micro-collaborations – when two people or small groups work together in ways that support one another’s work or to co-create new work together. Here is part 1 and here is part 2.

What Google Learned from It’s Quest to Build the Perfect Team - Article about Google’s research on team that found that a sense of psychological safety was most important to team performance.

Thomas Kuhn’s theory of how paradigms shift - Article about Kuhn’s research in science that can apply at a personal or societal level as well.

Thirty Archaic Best Business Practices - Article by Carol Sanford, author of The Regenerative Business, about how we change and grow, yet business practices based on outdated values can hinder and block the “new” taking root.

Transcript: At Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

This episode starts with a love story. You’ll hear about a relationship that had profound “growth-promoting” qualities for each of us. My guests, Simon d’Orsogna of Mind Beyond and Bruce Nayowith, reflect on the story with me. We discuss how we can find safety in human connection and we explore how listening allows people to feel held, seen, and understand themselves better. Plus, there are practical tips about how to be a good listener. This one may be my favorite episode yet!

Resources and links: 

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

The Mind Beyond Institute: Learn about Simon d’Orsogna’s work as an individual and family therapist, clinical trainer and process-oriented facilitator based in Melbourne. He is an Internal Family Systems practitioner and trainer.

The Focusing Institute - Bruce mentioned the process of focusing, which is a experiential, embodied practice for self-reflection and listening. Here’s another link: Focusing Initiatives International 

Dr. Gordon Neufeld - Bruce mentioned his work. Dr. Neufeld specializes in “helping adults provide the conditions for children to flourish.”

The Peter Wilberg quote Bruce shared is from the book The Therapist as Listener.

Simon’s quote at the end is from Brenda Ueland. Here’s an article from her Tell Me More: On the Fine Art of Listening.

Closer than Ever - Beth mentioned a quote from this song, in a musical of the same name, Closer than Ever, by Maltby & Shire. These are lines:

And now

We're steadier by half

Thank god we learned to laugh

Thank god when you found your new you

I loved her too

Transcript: at the Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives

When the world around us is on overdrive and we are working to make positive change, we can end up in overdrive - and overwhelm. This episode explores how we can find strength and balance through connection with healers, meditation, and the spiritual path. My guest is Greta Bro, a psycho-spiritual guide who I worked with; she coached me to mimic nature’s cycles with times of action and growth and times of rest and stillness. Part of why we get over-busy is to avoid feeling. Working with a  healer or therapist can allow us to be with the feelings. We also explore the power of mindfulness meditation and the incredible experiences and realizations that unfolded when I did a 7-day silent retreat. Greta is a singer-songwriter so this one also includes some of her music.

Resources and links: 

Kinship: A Hub to Amplify the Power of Community: Check out this web site to learn about Beth Tener’s work, focused on designing for connection in groups and communities of all kinds. You can join the newsletter here.

Greta Bro’s web site - Learn about Greta’s work as a singer/songwriter, psycho-spiritual healer and guide, poet, and activist blending in the arts.

Love’s Song - Listen to Greta’s album

Gaia's Breath poem that Greta read

Voces Arts and Healing - Greta is part of this organization, which brings together expressive arts therapists dedicated to addressing the growing humanitarian crisis with immigrant and refugee children and families.

Wild Geese - poem by Mary Oliver

Insight Meditation Society - This is the place Beth did the seven-day silent retreat.

Transcript: At the Kinship web site

Audio editing by: Podcasting for Creatives