Living Well

What should you have written down for your family and friends to conveniently find it if needed? Bank information? Internet passwords? Mortgage info? Today we talk about how to handle this situation and what things should be easily accessible to friends and family if they need to find them for you.

Dealing with real estate issues can be difficult at any time, but it’s particularly challenging when dealing with seniors who may be leaving a home they’ve been in for several decades. Today we talk about how to navigate some of those thorny social situations as well as the financial situations that come with selling a home and relocating.

Gwen Tombergs, of Fresh Start Living Quad-Cities, talks to us about how to simplify and minimize around the home going into spring cleaning season. We talk about helping seniors to take inventory and take stock of their belongings, particularly if they’re thinking of moving to a smaller home, as well as other related matters.

How do you address the issues you may be having in regard to caring for a parent or loved one? How do you have those difficult conversations? We talk about that and more in this latest episode of Living Well, your podcast sponsored by LivWell Seniors.

In the latest episode of Living Well, sponsored by LivWell Senior Living Solutions, we talk about taxes. What do you do if you’re a caregiver for an older adult? What are your options from a tax perspective? What do you need to prepare for? How can you help them prepare their taxes? We answer these and many other questions in this lively and informative episode of Living Well.

Taking care of your spouse or elderly parents can create additional stressors in your life and personal health and well-being. Especially now, during the holiday season, stress is at a high, and it can be very difficult. In the latest episode of Living Well, we talk about the signs of stress and how to manage and deal with it.

When to begin the conversation 

For most families, parents will be in their 70’s, adult children in midlife 

During the holidays or other special occasions 

Start early, don’t wait for the crisis, decisions made under pressure can be difficult 

Special note to those with no children/petition a trusted family member (niece, nephew) 

Beginning the conversation 

Thinking about the future of growing “old” when we are healthy is a good way to start 

Don’t liming the conversation to just health, discuss all aspects, finances, our wishes for ourselves, end of life decisions….keep these conversations ongoing 

Complexities as we get older, prone to scams, families living further apart, etc… 

Resistance to asking for help, normal… 

Readiness, lack of models, facing an unwelcome life stage 

Purposeful conversations:  Between parents and adult children can be challenging, but equally important.  Family meetings can help develop common goals and create a plan that guides decision making.  Here are some suggestions on how to get the conversation started.   

Parents (aging) take the lead 

Parents (aging) can consider this a partnership with the adult child 

Adult children can express their feelings, ask questions, what can adult children offer with their skills and areas of interest.   

Discussions need to include finances, housing needs, health, end of life wishes  

Consider taking “meeting minutes” then distribute to the involved parties 

Long distance communications made easy now with zoom/skype meeting  

Goal is to develop a plan to convey wishes….update as circumstances change 

Why is this so hard? 

Financial affairs are a private matter,  

Family dynamics, not first marriage, blended families 

Facing increased medical expenses 

Death expenses are very costly, $10K plus, people don’t want to discuss death 

Wills/Estate plans can be complex  

When moving parents from a life-time home to a senior living community you can be sure of three things (1) they will have A LOT of “stuff” that they either do not need or cannot take with them, (2) they will not want to get rid of their “stuff”, and (3) they will, therefore, expect to pass this “stuff” onto family. While this can be a special time for passing on meaningful legacy items to the next generation, it can also be a way for mom, dad, or grandparents to simply expect you to hang onto boxes and boxes of “stuff” that they do not need, that nobody else really wants, but they (the giver) doesn’t really want to let go – quite yet… Sort of like when a child moves out of the parents’ home for the first time (see Parenting the Parents above).

How do you help parents determine what items they need to keep or truly want to keep for themselves? How do you help them determine which items are genuine legacy items to be passed on to family or friends and which items are worthy of selling or donating to a charity?  It can be an overwhelming task. Where do you begin? How do you begin? There are services available to assist throughout the organization and moving process. Learn how to make downsizing purposeful, meaningful, and easier for all.

People often underestimate the cost of caregiving. Whether it be the cost of caregiving for a parent living in their own home, in your home, or in a senior living community, the cost becomes a primary factor that must be understood to make appropriate life-impacting decisions regarding your parents’ care. What are the differences between Medicaid, Medicare, long-term care insurance, and private pay care? Which type of senior living communities accept which type of payor source? What are the assessed requirements for specific levels of care and how long will the money cover the level of anticipate care?