AUSTIN, TX—Claiming that the baked confection had been a “bad neighbor” for years, a local woman held a press conference Tuesday to accuse her local gingerbread man of harassing her and her family.

“I’ve lived in this neighborhood for more than 50 years, and I can tell you that this gingerbread man has always been a troublemaker,” said local resident Linda Smith, adding that the gingerbread man had been throwing loud parties every night and disturbing the peace of the entire block.

“This is a quiet community, and he is not welcome here. He’s always blasting music from his house at all hours of the night. And if that’s not bad enough, he throws his candy wrappers everywhere. I don’t know what kind of example he thinks he’s setting for children by doing things like that. It’s time for him to move out of this neighborhood once and for all.”

At press time, Smith was reportedly calling the police after receiving reports that the gingerbread man had been brandishing a piece of gum he was chewing like a gun.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://thecrookedwheel.com/2022/08/15/local-gingerbread-man-accused-of-being-a-bad-neighbor/