CHICAGO, IL—Saying that he was pretty sure he had been in the middle of doing something, local principal Brian Phelan told reporters Wednesday that he couldn’t quite remember what it was he was supposed to be doing right now.

“I know I was supposed to be doing something, but for the life of me, I can’t recall what it was,” said Phelan, adding that whatever it was probably wasn’t too important anyway and that he should probably just forget about it.

“I think I had a few things to do today, but now that I think about it, I can’t even remember what they were. Oh well.”

At press time, Phelan had reportedly decided to just sit down at his desk and see if anything came to him.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://thecrookedwheel.com/2022/08/25/local-principal-finds-he-cant-even-remember-what-he-was-supposed-to-be-doing-right-now/