If you slow down, get clear on what you want and why you want it, then have the audacity to go get it, there is no doubt in my mind that you will wake up. You will feel the most alive you've ever felt. Awake people who are clear on their mission and purpose have a certain way of being. You know this because you've come across them. There's an energy in the way they do things and it comes out of who they are; their essence. Inexplicably, you find yourself wanting to spend more time with them. You gravitate towards them because you believe that you might feel that way too.

I'm not talking about the folks on social media with the curated profiles that show how great their lifestyle is. Some of that is real. Most of it is not.

It's the teacher who wants to transmit and infuse joy in their students. They know that if the engine that drives learning is joy, it can be the most meaningful lifelong impact they can have on their kids.

It's the person on your team who celebrates your success. They have a mindset that "a rising tide lifts all boats". They invest time and energy with everyone on their team because experiencing wins together is much better than being in it alone.

It's the widow raising two kids on her own yet, she still creates the professional life she wants. She shows up with poise and confidence at work. People feel inspired by her leadership and they begin to see all sorts of possibilities for what they can achieve because of who she is to them.

These people have a deep aliveness to them. They are awake and they have a profound connection with their purpose.

But here's the thing, part of being awake means we will have lonely days too. Once we are clear on our mission, what no one tells us is how lonely it can get on the road to success. That's the reason why I'm writing today. I want to let you know that loneliness is on the menu should you decide to say yes to your hero's path.

Sacrifices Add Up & You Will Need Support

Last week, I grabbed drinks with a colleague and we shared about the sacrifices we've made in pursuit of our purpose. She mentioned that when she started out, she sent hundreds of LinkedIn messages to folks she wanted to work with and invited all of them for coffee. For years, none of these coffee meetings led to any business. She was broke, she was struggling to pay her team and she took on extra jobs just to make ends meet. While she was the most alive she's ever felt in those early days, it was clear that the sacrifices also weighed on her.

That's the thing about the hero's path. You will feel an intensity that you've never felt before and it will also require more out of you. Those sacrifices add up. They will wear on you and you will have lonely days.

I had a lonely day last week.

For no particular reason, I woke up and felt somber. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but my energy was low, I was internalizing everything, and I was all up in my head. I was also about to lead a group coaching experience so I needed to get support in order to effectively show up to my group.

I sent the below text to a trusted friend:

While the feeling of loneliness didn't immediately go away after I sent the text, it gave me space to sit and be with my loneliness. Often times, our default is to make everything better right away. We have all sorts of unconscious defense mechanisms to not feel discomfort. For me, it's fantasizing about what's next. It's being on Youtube longer than I'd like. It's creating busyness that doesn't have any meaningful impact in my goals.

But I'm learning to be better.

Last week, I did better. I reached out for support. And I didn't just go to my wife about it because she doesn't always deserve the downer version of me. She deserves the me that my clients get. I reached out for support somewhere else and it created room for me to be with my loneliness for a bit.

When I sat with the depth of my loneliness, I found that I didn't collapse. What emerged was a beautiful human experience of richness within that depth. Without forcing it, my body naturally worked its way out of it. I found myself in gratitude and I started to celebrate my wins.

The truth is my coaching is thriving like never before.

I looked at the current circumstances of my life and I would have never dreamed it would be like this.

I'm working with dream companies and visionary leaders that I only aspired to be coaching years ago.

There is also a lot of pending exciting things coming up too. Who knows if any of them pan out, but I'm excited that I'm in the game and playing.

In the midst of all this success, I feel like I'm the kind of imperfect, but present husband I want to be to my wife. I also feel like I'm present to my kids in the way I envisioned I would be. I don't feel like I'm missing the good stuff. The stuff that really matters.

My friends, creating the life you want is so worth it. Life wants to happen for you. The hero's path is not for everybody but for those who say yes, you will find everything you're looking for on the other side. Paradoxically, you'll find that what you're looking for, you have had the entire time.

I leave you with a quote from one of my most favorite books of all time, The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo:

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”

I invite you to come back to this quote this week and let me know what insight you experience.

Love.

Jomar

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