In this solo episode of Filter Optional, Shannon West explores a question that surfaced after her youngest son graduated from college:

What’s the difference between being lonely and being alone?

Reflecting on her own experience, Shannon shares why she warned both of her sons that their early twenties might be some of the loneliest years of their lives, even when surrounded by friends, roommates, coworkers, and constant activity .

But as she unpacks her own journey, Shannon realizes something surprising: she isn’t lonely. What she’s actually craving is aloneness.

From never having lived alone to navigating marriage, motherhood, friendships, codependency, and personal growth, Shannon explores the difference between isolation and solitude, and why intentional time alone can be a powerful pathway to peace, clarity, and spiritual connection.

Key Points

• Why your early twenties can feel lonely, even when you're surrounded by people
• The important difference between loneliness and solitude
• How codependency and people-pleasing can make it difficult to know what you truly want
• Why many adults struggle to ask for time alone without guilt or explanation
• The role of faith, spirituality, and a higher power in combating loneliness
• How solitude can help you reconnect with yourself and your purpose
• Why being alone isn't necessarily a problem to solve, but a gift to embrace 

Takeaway:

Loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing. Loneliness is a longing for connection. Aloneness can be an opportunity for it. When we intentionally create space for quiet, reflection, and connection with something greater than ourselves, solitude becomes less about isolation and more about restoration.