Fear is a powerful force—but what happens when it’s sitting in the driver’s seat of your life?

In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack how fear quietly shapes our decisions, relationships, finances, parenting, faith, and sense of purpose. Drawing from personal stories, recovery wisdom, and decades of experience in counseling and coaching, they explore how fear can protect us—or imprison us—depending on who’s in control.

Through vivid examples—from being handcuffed in the back of a squad car to future-tripping about money, parenting, and success—Chico reframes fear as something to understand, not obey. Because fear doesn’t just influence behavior; it can drive us places we never intended to go.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

How fear becomes a false driver that limits clarity and growth 

The difference between future-tripping and intentional planning 

Why the stories we tell ourselves often fuel fear more than facts 

How confession, community, and service help drive fear out of the driver’s seat 

Why “fear not” isn’t a suggestion—it’s an invitation to freedom

This episode challenges listeners to pause and ask an honest question: What fear is driving me right now? Because awareness is the first step toward reclaiming control—and choosing a better direction.

Takeaway:Fear will always exist, but it doesn’t get to decide where you’re going. When you investigate your fear instead of obeying it, clarity, peace, and growth follow.

What happens when the system designed to help people recover is driven more by fear and insurance than by truth?

In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West pull back the curtain on the 30-day treatment model—where it came from, why it became the industry standard, and why it often fails people who are caught in cycles of relapse. Drawing from decades of firsthand experience in addiction treatment, counseling, and recovery, Chico challenges one of the most widely accepted assumptions in behavioral health: that 30 days is enough.

Together, they unpack how fear—fear of pushback, fear of losing clients, fear of insurance limitations—has shaped treatment recommendations, often at the expense of long-term recovery outcomes.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why the 30-day model was created by insurance companies, not recovery outcomes

How repeated 30-day stays can reinforce relapse instead of interrupt it 

The difference between detox, residential treatment, IOP, sober living, and long-term care 

Why people early in recovery should not be calling the shots—and why experts must be willing to tell the truth

What families should ask treatment centers before committing time, money, and hope

This episode is a call to courage—for families, providers, and anyone navigating addiction. Because recovery isn’t about comfort, convenience, or quick fixes. It’s about structure, accountability, honesty, and time.

Takeaway:If someone keeps relapsing after multiple 30-day programs, the problem isn’t the person—it’s the model. Real recovery requires a longer, more truthful path.

In Part 2 of this two-part series, Chico and Shannon West continue their honest conversation about the vulnerability gap—and why so many women feel unable to fully show up as themselves, even in spaces meant for connection and support.

This episode explores the why behind the gap. From cultural expectations and constant criticism to fear of being “too much,” Chico and Shannon unpack how women internalize judgment around appearance, parenting, marriage, faith, productivity, and success—and how that pressure quietly shuts vulnerability down.

Through real-life stories—from church culture to friendships, book clubs, and social dynamics—they examine how women often replace vulnerability with productivity, fixing, or “protecting their peace,” while still feeling disconnected underneath it all.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- Why women are more harshly judged—and how that fuels fear of vulnerability 

- How “protecting your peace” can become a way to avoid hard conversations rather than create true peace 

- The difference between productivity and fruitfulness, and why vulnerability is required for real growth 

- Why women often fear being a burden, “too much,” or judged when sharing honestly 

- How fixing, advising, and caretaking can unintentionally widen the vulnerability gap instead of closing it 

This episode doesn’t offer quick fixes. Instead, it invites reflection—on boundaries, courage, and the work required to build relationships rooted in empathy, trust, and truth.

Takeaway:Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the doorway to fruitfulness, connection, and freedom. When women stop protecting appearances and start telling the truth, the gap begins to close.

Why do so many women feel surrounded by people—yet still feel alone?

In Part 1 of this two-part series, Chico and Shannon West introduce what Chico calls “The Vulnerability Gap”—the unseen divide that keeps many women from openly sharing their own fears, struggles, and emotions, even in spaces that feel safe. Drawing from decades of clinical work, coaching, and lived experience, Chico challenges a common assumption: that women are naturally better at vulnerability simply because they talk more and gather often.

Together, they explore how women are often encouraged to share about others—their children, spouses, and circumstances—but struggle to name and express their own feelings like anger, fear, resentment, or grief. The result? Shame, isolation, and a cycle of self-silencing.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- What the vulnerability gap is and how it uniquely impacts women 

- Why many women confuse thoughts (“I feel like…”) with actual feelings 

- How fear of judgment—especially from other women—prevents honest sharing 

- Why anger is one of the most suppressed emotions for women, and the cost of that suppression

- How “fixing,” minimizing, or spiritualizing pain shuts vulnerability down instead of creating connection 

This conversation is not about blaming women—or letting men off the hook. It’s about naming what’s real so healing can begin. Because vulnerability isn’t oversharing—it’s telling the truth about what’s happening inside you.

Takeaway:When women can’t safely name their own emotions, they stay stuck in the gap. Awareness is the first step toward building the bridge.

Part 2 continues the conversation by examining vulnerability through the lens of men and relationships.

What does it really mean to “hold space” for someone? It’s one of those buzzwords we hear everywhere—from therapy to social media—but few people truly understand how to do it. In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack the deeper meaning of holding space: being fully present for someone without judgment, advice, or agenda.

Drawing from personal stories and real-life moments—from walking with aging parents to comforting a grieving friend—they explore what genuine empathy looks like in action and why it’s so rare today.

You’ll learn:

- The difference between empathy and sympathy, and why empathy doesn’t require shared experience

- What it means to hold space without “shoulding” on others (or yourself)

- Why most of us listen to respond instead of listening to understand—and how to change that habit

- How to prepare your heart and mind (“precondition,” as Shannon calls it) before stepping into hard conversations

- Why vulnerability and discomfort are the keys to connection, healing, and hope

Whether it’s walking beside someone with loss, illness, or conflict—or simply learning to be present in everyday relationships—this episode is a masterclass in compassion and emotional maturity.

Takeaway: Holding space isn’t about fixing people. It’s about making room for their humanity. When you can listen without judgment and love without control, you create the kind of connection that heals.

When was the last time you truly got curious—about yourself, your partner, or even the world around you? In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West explore how curiosity can transform your relationships, deepen your connection with God, and help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Drawing from real-life stories—family trips, tough conversations, and moments of self-reflection—they unpack:

- Why curiosity is the antidote to control and fear

- How childlike wonder helps us reconnect to the parts of ourselves we’ve silenced

- The difference between chaotic curiosity and compassionate curiosity

- What it looks like to get curious with others—without “shoulding” on them

- How curiosity opens the door to true intimacy (“into me you see”)

From raising kids and caring for aging parents to facing anxiety, loss, and faith in uncertain times, Chico and Shannon show that curiosity isn’t just about asking questions—it’s about holding space. Because when you get curious, you create connection.

Takeaway: When you stop trying to control and start getting curious, you’ll rediscover the freedom to learn, listen, and love—yourself and others—more deeply than ever before.

Thirty years of marriage and thirty-six years of sobriety—two milestones that shaped Chico and Shannon West’s lives and marriage. In this heartfelt episode of Filter Optional, the couple celebrates their anniversary by unpacking what truly sustains a relationship over decades: not just love, but the willingness to step into the messy middle.

Through honest reflection, humor, and real-life examples (yes, even about a forgotten hammer), Chico and Shannon explore:

From faith to codependency, solitude to physical touch, Chico and Shannon share the lessons that keep their love grounded, real, and resilient.

Takeaway: Marital bliss isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about learning to walk through it together. When you investigate your feelings and hold space for each other’s humanity, your marriage becomes the thing that sustains your love.

What if the “messy middle” isn’t something to avoid—but the very place where real growth happens?

In this episode, Chico and Shannon West open up about what it really means to live—and love—through life’s in-between moments. From golf games and everyday disagreements to deeper conversations about fear, vulnerability, and communication, they unpack how stepping into discomfort can lead to stronger relationships and genuine connection.

Key themes:

The messy middle isn’t chaos—it’s where transformation begins. Join Chico & Shannon as they learn to trade perfection for presence and find peace in the process.

Ever find yourself spiraling into fear or frustration—only to realize it wasn’t really about what just happened? In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West get vulnerable and real about one of their own messy moments.

While navigating a high-stress meeting with their architect, emotions flared, assumptions took over, and a simple scheduling mix-up turned into a lesson in emotional awareness. Together, they unpack:

From passive-aggressive comments to honest communication, Chico and Shannon show how self-awareness and compassion can turn conflict into growth.

Takeaway:When you learn to identify—not suppress—your emotions, even the most uncomfortable moments become opportunities for clarity, healing, and deeper connection.

We all do it — get stuck in our own heads, replaying the same negative thoughts on repeat. In this episode of Filter Optional, Chico and Shannon West unpack the cycle of “stinking thinking” — how our thoughts shape our emotions, behaviors, and even relationships — and what it really takes to break free.

From golf course frustrations to old family messages, they explore how thoughts can become repetitive, paralyzing, and self-sabotaging — and how to regulate them with awareness, faith, and a little humor.

You’ll hear:

Through raw honesty, laughter, and a few vulnerable examples, Chico and Shannon remind us that awareness is the first step toward freedom. Because when you take your thoughts captive — instead of letting them take control — you can start living with clarity, peace, and purpose.

Takeaway:
Negative thoughts aren’t always the enemy — but believing them without question is. Learn how to pause, get curious, and filter your thinking through truth, connection, and grace.