this is my office and it's kind of messy but where it was before my upstairs neighbor star watching TV and I can hear it through the floor and it's kind of distracting I'm gonna go over some of things I wrote down in the last while and one of the things I wrote down is lose your mind to gain the universal mind and that is again that when the ego starts to break down and get scrambled we get into greater contact with the universal mind and it's somewhat the collective mind of humanity and that's why we can have access to information overload and other things that we feel we know that we shouldn't be able to know and just things that aren't a regular everyday ego consciousness so I feel like those states are actually symptoms of oneness not symptoms of personal mental illness we're starting to feel like we're one and it's difficult to to act and behave when we're perceiving things that aren't felt as us but it's felt as us we know it's from somewhere else it's not our normal feeling state so I feel like it's partly because we are what arises as us in relationship so it's not the ego with its defenses and delineation is keeping us separate but we arise as relationship and we're trying to act based on the arising of that relationship which could be the truth of that relationship if it's with someone we know then it can be quite strenuous because we can actually sense the energy of us in that state plus their energy and it's confusing so we act out of character because our characters what keeps us in consistency a new memes and new weems are technically sort of like hallucinations and delusions but I feel we can hallucinate a better reality we can hallucinate a better reality into existence and I was thinking too that the aliens are us and they're dreaming of the day when they were still human beings on earth and didn't destroy all the complexity didn't turn into these ubiquitous creatures that all look the same and I thought of a little thing thrive dive and revive for bipolar disposition because I feel like I can thrive for a certain period of time and I might go for a little bit of a dive but then I get revived and it's not too and I wouldn't want to not thrive to avoid the dive and I thought about the term fearless and I want to transform that I want to do one of my word transformations then turn fearless into love more not fear less and I had a realization that language is a living thing it wants to evolve and we get caught in these language structures and we're caught by our own voice in our own head keeping us in a prison of sound and preventing us from seeing beyond our own conceptualizations and I thought of that in terms of how most people that go into mania really connects with language in that they feel like their poets are their wrappers and I felt like a rapper at one point and its really playing with language in order to create and in order to learn and to learn about the language structure and the underlying meaning and the implicit bits that we don't necessarily hear or know about when we just use it in a regular daily basis when we get a grasp of it beyond daily use we can actually start to play with language and create language and we are language and sound machines why don't we create language just like we create anything else and part of this too is to create context which is really evolving the language that we use to describe these experiences our current language induces fear it's i vs you + with these weems that i'm trying to create or memes some of them are memes but whatever one's resonate maybe they become weems that become something that we would think together at the same time and that's more powerful than thinking about oneself in one's own voice in one's own head and I realized the first time I was in manic consciousness I could see language in this way and I was trying to create new language not a completely new language but just additions to language or transformations I think partly it needs to be a language of we if we're going to create a good society we need a language of goodness and we connect with this other language or this ability to create new language and part of it is just new insights and new extrapolations and we can also extrapolate language not just new words and thoughts and ideas but extrapolations of language and word transformations and rearranging words to make more sense because we can hear and see how certain words actually are energetically harmful when I was in the psych ward in April and somebody came to visit me and they were talking to someone else every word sounded like I could hear the the harm in every word and since we don't have the language in the context to express ourselves and and even to have that context within ourselves before we go into a different state so we don't get afraid and then if we get afraid and then we go into the mental health we're pathologized with pathologizing language and then we become prisoners of that language in that way of seeing and it's about making it relational and I watched a video by Sean Blackwell today and he was giving an update and he does some great work the one thing that troubled me was he said that he named his business awakenings personal development and he is kind of a genius with what he did with his videos about bipolar or waking up but waking up to what like waking up for what for one's own personal development I think that kind of misses the point of spiritual awakening because it's we're all one so awakenings personal development to me is a bit of a misnomer and that's why I wanted to call my business world centricity wellness because I am NOT interested in working with anybody that wants to develop personally I think personal development if you call it that is kind of a byproduct of moving towards world centricity if you wake up and then just develop a stronger ego it's kind of not really waking up the universe changes our behavior as the universe for the universe and that's another thing I don't want to help people go back to or cope with their shitty life it's about creating a new society where people don't have to live shitty lives and if we focus on that we're going to forget about the fact that our life is I was listened to a TED talk about change your frequency to change your life and the lady brought up dr. Emoto who did the studies on water and how the structure of water is affected by one's thoughts and he did certain experiments to show this and since we are a large percentage water if we're thinking in a certain way that's going to change the structure the water in our body and I was wondering if that is a way that some of the muscle tension gets created so if there's water in our muscles and we think in a certain way is going to alter the structure the water in our muscles it's going to change the tension in our muscles so that could be a way that the ego and those thoughts actually change the structure of our body which changes the effect of the field of gravity on our body if we're not in alignment and our intentions and our thoughts change our DNA so they have epi genetic effects on our DNA so words and sounds have effects on our DNA so not only do words and sounds have effect on the water they also have effect on our DNA which causes epigenetic changes which basically we are killing ourselves with our own thoughts she also mentioned dr. David Hawkins and his scale of consciousness which I may have talked about before but she said healing begins at joy so if you need to heal go out and play I used to do a lot of that and now I don't so much and I think that's part of the trouble that's why I want to create safety so we can thrive we can be safe if we can feel safe and then thrive and then if we take a dive if we know how to keep ourselves safe and then as we thrive we can be more playful and play and embody our mania abba was so called a love whistle it's 528 Hertz and today I came across a video on YouTube which was an interview with Len Horowitz and I learned about his work quite a few years ago now and he was talking about 528 Hertz and how it's the frequency of love and how it's actually the frequency of a blade of grass and it's the frequency of the Sun and it's the frequency of chlorophyll and how all of nature is based on 528 Hertz and that's why nature's healing and I thought of how mania could almost be like resonating again with 528 Hertz because he was talking about how the ego actually is discord with the universe and it's a different frequency the frequency I can't find it right now but some like seven hundred and something and that's the frequency that they put into all of music since the nineteen thirty since they realized that it's basically discord with love so what he was talking about was the heart is 528 Hertz and the ego is this discordant frequency and this to me again is related to how I was talking about when the ego voice is going on were contorted in the force of gravity and were not one with our light body were not in alignment with it and that sound is what makes us tense up and hunched over and then we're not in alignment with the force of gravity which would make us not sense ourselves so much and he was saying how dolphins create light through sano luminescence which was really interesting basically whatever sound apparatus they have they can make those bubbles with the water and it produces light so I was talking before about how the ego is a thought which is a sound which creates an image which is light on the inner mind screen and that's the image of the ego self which we take to be our self which is the conceptualization and the abstraction and it's from past memory and so since it's not now it has two tents us up and so that sound creates the image of light so when there's no sound of the ego we can just see perceive the light outside and that light actually when we see and understand immediately then we'll hear maybe some sounds of how to express ourselves or insights or things that we never thought of before because we're not just thinking of what we thought of before and it was interesting because he talked about how the voice and sounds are creative and he talked about how the lips are the most powerful healing instrument in the universe because of our voices and it's interesting to me because I've done so much of this talking to myself or putting voice to what it was that I wanted to say to myself as self dialogue and then I found this video who that sort of said yeah it's good to use your voice and he talks about biblical references of let there be light and that was a sound and then the sound created the light he said your lips and the sound you make with your lips is the most powerful healing technology in the universe and sound is the principle creative technology and that's true because the ego sound in her head of our own voice is basically destroying us but say that was silent for example but we could still speak with our voice outward it would be a creative act and it wouldn't be coming from the ego talking actually think science is way too slow only a certain amount of people get trained with the scientific lens and then they're given the responsibility to do the scientific studies to tell everyone what is true when in manic consciousness things are very self evident so if we didn't train people into these specialized lenses we'd actually be able to just look at things and see for ourselves if science discovers a certain truth that truth was there before they discovered it so there's there's millions of truths that they will never get to discover but there's still truths they just haven't thought to design an experiment around that one little variable the map lens the mania and psychosis lens is more powerful as its immediate they're talking about a gross onyx where plants grow faster with certain sounds and i would say most of the ego sounds are destructive so they're talking about sounds that are beneficial but we're not surrounded by those kind of sounds were surrounded by noise and our own ego noise and it's all destructive and they said sound interacts with physiology oh the tuning that was detrimental as a 440 and apparently all modern songs are tuned to that frequency and it's a diss easing frequency and they also said it suppresses the heart chakra which goes with what I was talking about how the ego suppresses the heart and when we are in matted consciousness we are seeing with our heart we're seeing patterns and when you mentioned that it suppresses the heart chakra he said and then science becomes the new God and he didn't elaborate on that but to me it sounds like if we can see with our hearts we don't need science I feel like we can become one with the vibration of nature which is 528 I feel that that happens in manic consciousness because we're in the vibration of our heart we're seeing with our heart and when it comes to transitioning into so-called psychosis it's because once seen with one's hard and one's heart broken and he also said there's a heart mind and an ego mind and that's definitely true the heart math Institute talks about that and how there's more neural pathways going from the heart to the brain than from the brain to the heart and I feel when the ego is scrambled by manic consciousness we're seeing with our heart and so we have access to so much more information and it's being sent to the brain and in that way it's reap a turning the brain maybe it's that it's our voice that is our epigenetics our own voice and we can use it outward or we can abuse it inward actually he said 741 hurts is dissonance and that is the frequency of the ego and it's dissonant to the heart so in my mind what he's saying is any thought in one's own head in one's own voice about anything positive or negative is dissonance because it's an abstraction about reality it's not actuality it's moving us away from the present moment which tenses our structure which one's it hundreds us over and we're not in alignment with the field of gravity and our DNA is having poor epigenetic expression and our water is off why do we record things translate it into our own voice and use it against ourselves we are imprisoned by our own voice and by having that voice inside that sound is creating light on the inner mind screen which is blocking perception it's difficult to project and see Beauty outwards if we're doing that and it's difficult to be spontaneous and play and no wonder when we decouple from that we become very spontaneous and very playful and very happy and very silly and inconsistent because the ego is the thing that keeps us consistent those recordings which are recorded in our own voice and produce those images just keep playing a repeating sequence of images on our mind screen and that's what we play our entire life which is such a small fraction of what's available in any moment sometimes we self-medicate to escape ourselves but the universe also wants us to escape ourselves and that's why would go into those states such as mania and I'm wondering if fish oil sort of helps the hippocampus by blocking sound sort of like oil would block sound more than water perhaps our own voice can end up trying to use us because we're not using our voices for love

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