When you look to a world that is lost and confused, searching for them to validate and accept you, that’s a quick formula for destruction. You can’t ask everyone whether or not you’re good enough and leave it in their hands for them to define you. You need to tell them who you are and not compromise or leave any room for discussion. When you are already secure in who you are, receiving compliments and affirmations simply confirm what you’ve already known about yourself. To the contrary, when you have low self-esteem and place your “self”-worth in the hands of others to define, your perception of who you believe that you are will continue to fluctuate based on the type of feedback that you are receiving.

When you require validation, you constantly place yourself in front of the outside world, screaming “Look at me! Look at me! Please tell me I’m worthy!” Sometimes people will and sometimes they won’t. So then, your need for validation becomes like a drug; you’ll constantly need more and more validation in order to get that same high. That’s a dangerous state to be living in.

The people who you’re typically searching for validation from aren’t even secure in themselves and are requiring that same validation from you in order to feel comfortable in their skin. Their perception of you is skewed by their own limited beliefs and mindsets. They are projecting onto you their own insecurities concerning things that they lack within themselves. When you search for validation, you have a desire to live up to everyone’s expectations of you because you are afraid of disappointing them. You will lose yourself in the need to fulfill the expectations that everyone has of you. Don’t get caught up in this cycle! Our host, Risharda Samaria, uses the wisdom she's gained from her personal journey, scripture, and different healing methods to help you learn how to detach yourself from the need to fulfill the expectations of others and instead to develop a healthy sense of high self-esteem.