[bctt tweet="Culturally, no accomplishment of a woman is as celebrated as the moment she decides to attach herself in marriage." username="hope_in_her"] In the 2nd installment of the Celebration of Love Series, LaChanda and I talk about the importance of loving yourself. If you are without a Valentine- don't fret! You are not alone. Don't allow yourself to give in to pressure and stress of the holiday. Create a positive outlook and enjoy yourself during this time! Take a listen as LaChanda and I explore some important factors. Connect with LaChanda all month long on IG @her_voice_her_story as she continues her stories about self-love. [bctt tweet="Embrace the power that you have as a woman. –LaChanda" username="hope_in_her"] Key Take Aways:

• Learn to embrace your singlehood- do not rush this very important growth stage.
• Don't allow the concept of "the 1" to make you stay in a toxic relationship
• We accept disrespect and more because of societal pressures and expectations. We've all been there.
• Be the best example of a healthy single person for your child
• Why do we always feel as though we will never find a mate?
• A healthy relationship requires you to be a whole person. A broken or person with unresolved issues cannot contribute to a successful relationship.
• Understand that a relationship requires sacrifice and honestly assess whether you are willing to make those sacrifices. It's ok if you are not.
• Stop shaming single women- some single women are not miserable.

[bctt tweet="In order to find the 1, you have to become the 1- LaChanda" username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• :24 Welcome Guest- LaChanda
• :53 Introduction of the topic
• 7:02 We discuss the concept of "the 1"
• 10:36 The mistakes we've made because of our beliefs in "the 1"
• 19:35 What does it mean to you to love yourself completely?
• 24:20 LaChanda discusses how she promotes self-love to other young women and girls in the community.
• 28:47 LaChanda and I discuss some of the cultural messages that are impressed upon us.
• 36:38 LaChanda shares what she hopes the listeners gained from today's message.

[bctt tweet="Live a fairytale life whether there is a Prince Charming or not." username="hope_in_her"] Resources: www.thelifeofasinglemom.com Any single moms looking to get connected Healing Place Church has a single mom connect group that meet on the 1st and 3rd Friday of each month. the next meeting will be on February 17 @ 6:30 pm- There will be an exercise/dance class, so please wear comfy clothes & tennis shoes. Free food, giveaways, and talking about how to get health physically, spiritually, and emotionally in 2017! For the Single ladies (no Children) get connected with other like-minded women try a connect/cell group. Music: Alessia Cara- Scars to Your Beautiful

It's a new year so it's time to leave the things that didn't work in the past!

"You can't address problems until you acknowledge they exist "

Key Take a ways:

• Face the music and learn what's on your credit report.
• Do not rely on others to enjoy your life
• There are lessons to be learned when you change your perspective
• Stop Looking for validation
• Motivation is not enough to reach your goals
• Men should feel so uncomfortable about projecting negative sentiments about women that they question doing it. But, they don't… That should be a problem for you.
• Negative people are draining
• People are intimated by the power and voice of a woman of color. Don't change who you are because it makes others uncomfortable.
• Perfectionism is fear based

"Start focusing on the positive in 2017 "

Timeline of the show:

• :38 Bad Money Habits
• 6:11 Living life to the fullest
• 16:16 Allowing Men to bash us and be hypercritical
• 20:30 Negativity and Judgment of others
• 25:20 Making yourself small to make others comfortable
• 29:50 Perfectionism

"If you need a ton of cheerleaders or a lot of people cheering in the stands, then you are probably not ready for the goals you want to achieve. "

"Negative people go nowhere "

Resources mentioned in today's show:

Redefining Realness, Janet Mock

Very Good Lives, J.K. Rowling

Daring Greatly, Brene Brown

Have a safe and happy New Year!!

Sincerely,

Download Episode

The second episode of this series is not only funny but soooo informative! Dev was dropping gems all through this episode! In this show, we talk about everything from "holidating" to depression! You definitely want to listen to this episode! [bctt tweet="Single women should never leave their parent's house and go straight to their spouse's house." username="hope_in_her"] Questions we ask this episode:

1. Do you believe depression is a choice?
2. Which holiday do you believe is worst for single women?
3. Have you ever received or given a bad gift during the holidays? How did you handle it?

[bctt tweet="If they are willing to give to others, they are most likely willing to give to you." username="hope_in_her"] Key Take a ways:

• Start your own traditions
• Get to know others through service
• Don't get caught up in other people's representatives.
• Change can cause grief

[bctt tweet="There is nothing worst than showing up and you are the only single person…" username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• :51 Two things every single woman should do.
• 3:20 Start your own holiday traditions!
• 4:13 A cool and thoughtful "holidate" idea
• 6:15 Experiential dating…
• 7:00 Dev give "holidate" ideas
• 8:25 One benefit of being single during the holidays is the ability to be more social!!
• 9:00 Dev drop MOOOORREEE gems on us! SHEESH!
• 10:11 Singles themed holiday parties
• 13:37 We discuss how to really be there for those women who are really struggling during the holidays
• 15:59 Signs and symptoms of depression vs sadness
• 18:00 How to help a grieving friend
• 20:41 Hope discusses her period of depression
• 24:24 Dev's finals thought!

Resources mentioned in today's show: Find Like Minded people in your area here! Learn more about depression here Need help? Baton Rouge Crisis Line In Texas? Texas Crisis Line Let's Talk!! Drop me a note and tell me what you think or share your story about experiencing the holidays as a newly or seasoned single woman. If you are a member of the HIH Tribe, log in and join the private conversation in the members only forum here. If you want to join the tribe, click here! If you have any topics you'd like to hear or would just like to leave a comment about the show- I would love to hear from you! For more information or to contact Devon, you can check out her blog at www.datingwithdev.wordpress.com Music: Artist: SolstarAlbum: GOLD Lyrics by: Solstar Composer: Solstar Release year: 2012 Credits to original artists: Solstar CC 3.0 BY-SHARE ALIKE Listen to this episode and others on Stitcher Radio! Available on iOS, Android, Nook, iPad. Download the free app today!

For single folks, the holidays can be tough. But, don't let that get you down... Devon and I will help you maneuver through the holidays with your head held high! The holidays may have you thinking you need a partner to feel better but, trust me... you don't. Don't rush something for the sake of having a body during "cuddle season." [bctt tweet="Live your best life now!! Don't wait until you find a partner to experience and enjoy life. " username="hope_in_her"] Questions we ask this episode:

1. What are the benefits of being single during the holidays?
2. Which holiday do you believe is worst for single women?
3. Have you ever received or given a bad gift during the holidays? How did you handle it?

[bctt tweet="Learn how to be comfortable with yourself and embrace your single season " username="hope_in_her"] Key Take a ways:

• How do you handle situationships during the holidays?
• Bad Dating experiences are universal- not just in your state
• Embrace the benefits of being single
• Single women have to monitor their social media habits to decrease their feelings of comparison
• Don't miss out on a chance just because you are single. Taking chances will change your life.
• Taking chances and enjoying life will put you in the company of like-minded people.
• Join a travel group!! There are tons of singles that are a part of them!! Check the link below for a few…
• If you not able to meet your own needs and are always seeking to get your needs met by someone else. When they fail you, you are going to try to replace them and you will never be happy with you.

[bctt tweet="Nobody wants to kick it with Bitter Bettie! " username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• 1:47 intro of Devon.
• 4:30 Devon talks about datingwithdev
• 6:00 How do most single women handle the holidays?
• 6:53 What contributes to your feeling lonely during the holidays?
• 9:40 Embracing your single season
• 10:30 Hope shares her personal story of embracing her single season after a bad relationship
• 11:33 Doing the work on yourself during your single season… check out datingwithdev to find the newest post on self-work.
• 12:30 Dev drop some gems
• 13:20 Cuddle Season
• 15:07 Benefits of being single during the holidays
• 20:25 Dev and Hope talk about the toughest holidays to handle as singles.
• 23:05 Levels of gift giving…. Dev quotes Wendy Williams (LORD)- Dev give some amazing gift ideas!
• 24:30 When should you start traveling long distance with your boo?

[bctt tweet="Would you date yourself? Do your own self-work? " username="hope_in_her"] Resources mentioned in today's show: Travel Noire http://travelnoire.com/ NoMadness Travel Tribe: http://www.nomadnesstv.com/#intro-1 Let's Talk!! Drop me a note and tell me what you think or share your story about experiencing the holidays as a newly or seasoned single woman. If you are a member of the HIH Tribe, log in and join the private conversation in the members only forum here. If you want to join the tribe, click here! If you have any topics you'd like to hear or would just like to leave a comment about the show- I would love to hear from you! For more information or to contact Devon, you can check out her blog at www.datingwithdev.wordpress.com Music: Artist: SolstarAlbum: GOLD Lyrics by: Solstar Composer: Solstar Release year: 2012 Credits to original artists: Solstar CC 3.0 BY-SHARE ALIKE

Download Episode Download Episode In the second half of Combating Confidence Killers, Nicole and I continue to break down barriers! We talk about everything from men, interracial dating, fashion and failure. Don't miss this very special episode! [bctt tweet="Everyone has their own standard of beauty and we should respect that. " username="hope_in_her"] [bctt tweet="You would think being at an HBCU, with people that look like you, they would be more accepting but, that's not the case. - Nikky Def" username="hope_in_her"] Questions we ask this episode:

1. Do WOC alter their behavior and habits for the sake of attraction of others?
2. Does dating outside of your race add a level of confidence?
3. When can holding ourselves to such high standards become unhealthy?

[bctt tweet="Confident people don't hate on others " username="hope_in_her"] Key Take a ways:

• Why do we find it so easy to make other women feel bad when they feel good about themselves?
• Black men are just as obsessed with hair as black women are…
• WOC are often victims of perceived expectations.
• What does failure look like to you?

[bctt tweet="Do you suffer from "I don't want to fail, so I won't try?!" Fear of failure also ruins your confidence." username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• :25 highlight of last episode
• 1:30 Barriers that affect our confidence (cont)
  • Men
    • Interracial dating
  • Hair
  • Other women and standards of beauty
• 12:00 Can confident people be haters?
• 14:11 How does failure effect our confidence?
• 14:55 Hope shares a personal story about her failure
• 17:39 Nicole shares her personal story about failure
  • How to move from failure to success
• 21:45 How people can plant negative seeds and how they affect our confidence in ourselves
• 24:33 Perceived expectations
• 26:00 How the Louisiana Flood of 2016 changed Nicole
• 28:06 How to show empathy toward those who have experienced trauma.
• 31:00 Do we have the wrong source of motivation?

[bctt tweet="Sometimes the path we are supposed to be on, doesn't look like we envision. Sometimes it takes failing in some areas for God to place you exactly where you need to be. -Hope " username="hope_in_her"] Let's Talk!! Drop me a note and tell me what you think or share your experience with confidence killers. If you are a member of the HIH Tribe, log in and join the private conversation in the members only forum here. If you want to join the tribe, click here! If you have any topics you'd like to here or would just like to leave a comment about the show- I would love to hear from you! For more information or to contact Nicole, you can check out her blog at www.nikkydefinitely.com Music: Artist: Solstar Album: GOLD Lyrics by: Solstar Composer: Solstar Release year: 2012 Credits to original artists: Solstar CC 3.0 BY-SHARE ALIKE

If you are overweight or have struggled with your weight like I have then, imagine how rude it would be if a smaller woman was to approach you as you ate and said, "mayyybee... you shouldn't eat that!" How pissed would you be? Well, for people like Nicole, making unsolicited statements such as, "you need to eat (more)!" evokes the same emotion. It's hurtful. "Real women have curves?" We hear that all too often. But, did you know when you make statements like this, you're implying that somehow women without curves are not actually REAL women? These women are sisters, mothers, daughters, and etc. They have the same struggles as their curvier counterparts. As difficult as it may be to find a decent pair of size 16 pants, so is it to find a 00. Please stop insinuating that smaller women "have it easier" or aren't real women because as Nicole stated, "you just may trigger the exact problem they are trying to overcome... an eating disorder." Eating disorder? But, that's a "white girl" issue? To be honest, it's more common in the black community than we think. We, however just tend to suffer in silence about it, like we do with so many other issues we face. It also may look a little bit different. Listen as Nicole and I debunk the myth about eating disorders in the black community as well as other issues that plague a woman of color's confidence. [bctt tweet="We have enough barriers from outside sources. Why do we continue to tear each other down?" username="hope_in_her"] Key Take Aways:

• Why do we find it so easy to make other women feel bad when they feel good about themselves?
• What insecurities do we find ourselves projecting onto other women?
• Does our relationship with food as a community contribute to our disordered eating habits? How can we
• How do you define a healthy relationship with food?

[bctt tweet="Nobody wanna talk about disordered eating in the black community. -Nikky Def" username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• 1:35 Introduction of Nicole- connect with her at www.nikkydefinitely.com
• 1:19 Nikky Definitely
• 2:15 Nicole and Hope discuss what confidence means to them
• 4:15 Do Women of Color struggle with confidence?
• 5:06 Barriers that affect our confidence
  • Other Women
• 8:40 Double Standards in the world of body shaming
• 10:30 Do women of color really battle with eating disorders?
• 12:20 Hope shares her personal experiences with disordered eating
• 13:09 Eating disorders vs. disordered eating
• 15:50 Nicole shares her personal struggles with eating disorders.
• 23:15 Nicole explains what it means to have a healthy relationship with food?
• 25:00 more on body Shaming
• 28:00 How to contact Nicole

[bctt tweet="How much compassion in your heart do you have for others if you openly judge them based on their body? -Nikky Def" username="hope_in_her"] **If you or someone you know think you may suffer from an eating this order. Please seek proper professional assistance. Below are some helpful sites: What is Disordered Eating? Common Eating Disorders Eating Disorders in Women of Color Let's Talk!! Drop me a note and tell me what you think or share your experience with confidence killers. If you are a member of the HIH Tribe, log in and join the private conversation in the members only forum here. If you want to join the tribe, click here! If you have any topics you'd like to here or would just like to leave a comment about the show- I would love to hear from you! Music: Artist: Solstar Album: GOLD Lyrics by: Solstar Composer: Solstar Release year: 2012 Credits to original artists: Solstar CC 3.0 BY-SHARE ALIKE

Download Episode Once you've decided that you are a part of an unhealthy, broken relationship you have to decide if you will renew or release the relationship. In the second half of the discussion, Kelli and I continue to explore the steps after recognizing a relationship is broken! Key Take Aways:

• Broken relationships leave you feeling hurt and disconnected. They go way beyond the daily ups and downs of a relationship
• You have a choice to stay in a broken relationship, deny if you are even in one, or deciding to walk around.

[bctt tweet="Forgiveness is a journey that starts with the willingness to take the first step. without willingness, the journey will be impossible. -Desmond Tutu" username="hope_in_her"] Timeline of the show:

• 1:25 Kelli's personal story connect with Kelli on facebook
• 3:40 Broken vs typical relationship problems
• 5:25 Renew or release the relationship?
• 8:30 Seeking counsel to restore a broken relationship
• 11:35 How to get in touch with Kelli
• 12:30 Dangers of living in the past
• 14:40 Don't take residence in pettyville

[bctt tweet="You cannot move forward if you continue to look in the past" username="hope_in_her"] Resources mentioned in this episode: click here to purchase→ Surviving the First Five The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman The Book of Forgiving by Desmond TuTu Daring Greatly by Brene Brown Lets Talk!! Drop me a note and tell me what you think or share your own experience with broken relationships. If you have any topics you'd like to here or would just like to leave a comment about the show- I would love to hear from you! Music Used: Artist: Solstar Album: GOLD Lyrics by: Solstar Composer: Solstar Release year: 2012 Credits to original artists: Solstar CC 3.0 BY-SHARE ALIKE

[iframe style="border:none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/4822806/height/100/width/480/thumbnail/no/render-playlist/no/theme/custom/tdest_id/441113/custom-color/0095a4" height="100" width="480" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen] In this episode, Hope will share with you the meaning behind Hope In Her and My Lotus Moments. Start here to better understand the mission of HIH! Don't forget to leave a comment!

What contributes to a broken relationship and what are some signs that you may be in a relationship that's broken? In the first episode of My Lotus Moments, Hope is joined by counselor and author, Kelli H. Smith to address these questions and a lot more!

Follow Kelli on IG: https://www.instagram.com/khs_author

Follow Us: https://www.instagram.com/hopeinher

Contact Us: http://www.hopeinher.com/contact/

Show Notes:http://www.hopeinher.com/01

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