Beyond Parody dives into the week's most unbelievable stories that (somehow) are real. Dan and the crew cover the World Aquatics decision to ban an athlete after a refused sex-verification test, an FBI probe that allegedly snared NBA names in a mafia card-game scheme, and the Louvre heist that used a work lift and speed to steal France's crown jewels. We argue Disney's strengths and misses, react to viral EBT clips as funding fights loom, debate the ethics of property taxes, review the White House ballroom renovation outrage, and address online conspiracies fueled by Candace Owens and their real-world effects. Plus, reader headlines and ridiculous personal stories.