Love Bites

Enough of dating apps that show you images of potential heartthrobs. What if there were a program that could help you calculate where, when, and how you're most likely to find love? There is. Almost. Sort of. It's getting close, that is.

On today's show, Ben and Jacqueline grapple with their current dating woes, which right now are at opposite ends of the dating spectrum: B's in the throws of serious-relationship-ville which comes with mutual respect and trust and all that jazz so he can't really talk about it on the radio as much as he did when we started this show, whereas J is single and frisky and dreaming of a deep emotional connection with the man she hasn't met yet, but can do shit about it because she hasn't been feeling well enough to date in a really stupid long time. How can we host a radio show about dating and love when our dating lives are a bit less exciting now? Harumph!

Then we're joined by Rashied Amini, the founder and engineer behind Nanaya, a program where you plug in a bunch of info about yourself and your life, and then the same kind of algorithm that predict lunar habitation module success spits out where in the world you'll most likely find your mate, in which social or work circles you'll have a better chance of finding him/her, and how old you'll most likely be when you settle down. Does the algorithm work? Does Amini apply it to his own life? Does he think we should be applying more head and less heart to our search for love? And will this help J and B with their current dating conundrums?

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Technology really burns our bacon sometimes...

Ben: "I hate how technology dehumanizes people. Whether it be by swiping, taking a long time to respond to a text, ghosting, or saying brash things we wouldn’t ordinarily say, we don’t treat people with the same courtesy through technology as we would in person. We also don't present our full human selves through technology, but rather a crafted version of our image that is not entirely authentic."

Jacqueline: "I feel like technology has shortened our attention spans. We read things--books, articles, messages--on tiny screens while multitasking, and so everything has gotten shorter. We fast forward through commercials. So there's less feeling comfortable in the "space between things," or knowing how to just sit in awkward silence, or enjoying slowing down, or luxuriating in just being. I both like those things, and physically need them. And I find it hard to find that in romantic partner, especially in New York. It makes me feel like the odd person out a lot.

On today's show, we continue our exploration of how technology affects relationships with Matt Lundquist, the founder and director of Tribeca Therapy in New York City. He guides us through both how we can take our online interaction to heart less, and how we can better set ourselves up to get more satisfaction out of our personal interactions IRL. How can we more authentically present ourselves to the world through online social platforms? How can we slow down when a potential romantic partner is seated across from us a table? How can we meld what and who we aspire to be with all of the technological tools out there to help us become that person?"

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When it comes to romantic communication, texting and online messaging can be gentle introductions into IRL conversation, or mediums in which you can royally screw another person. Some of us daters of a certain age - ahem - started this whole dating thing before cell phones were glued into our hands. Others grew up with instant communication as the norm. But how can all of us muddle through the dating world with clashing views of normalcy, etiquette, and preference when it comes to getting to know each other, digitally and in person?

On today's show, we're joined by Melissa Stanger, Senior Lifestyle Editor at Revelist, and Shana Lebowitz, Strategy Reporter at Business Insider, to discuss technology and modern romance. What do we all love and hate about texting and instant messaging? Can we get a clear picture of who someone is via how they text? What are we working towards in making sure we feel proud of our own actions? And where can we eat in NYC without the light of a dozen iPhone messing up the ambiance of our pasta and prosciutto?

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Where's the romance in a Snapchat? The thrill in an email? When the conversation moves from online dating to texting, how much do flirty digital conversations represent how we're gonna interact in the flesh? And when we're on a dinner date and our lover's fingers are talking to someone else, how hot and bothered can we really get?

On today's show, Ben is joined in the studio by Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula, the founders of the theater troupe Blogologues and the No Text Weekend, which hits the real world September 23rd - 25th. We discuss what annoys us the most about how relationships are carried out via text, if the way we text represents the respect we have for the person on the other end of the line, and if it was a personal or professional drive that inspired the ladies to organize a massive event of events and texting abstinence. Can we put down our phone for 30 minutes and converse IRL? Listen and find out.

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Holy testosterone! Jacqueline's out of the country and Ben has invited some fellas into the studio to get REAL about... um... dude stuff. Ladies: Ever wonder how men talk about you when you're not around? Guys: Ever wonder if/when it's cool to let your sensitive side show around your bros?

On today's show, hear the out-and-out, unadulterated TRUTH from four humans with Y chromosomes. Joined by regular guest Andrew McLeod (sales manager for Union Beer Distributors), Nick Guitart (General Manager of Big Daddy's restaurant and Ben's sometime boss) and, in a hilarious twist of fate, Jacqueline's real-life bro Dan Raposo, we'll explore men's deepest insecurities, frustrations and confusion concerning the opposite sex, and the under-discussed dating difficulties facing men in today's society.

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No matter the stage of your relationship (or lack thereof), well-meaning jerks often throw old, tired cliches at you in the guise of friendship: "Go with your gut!" "There are plenty of fish in the sea!" "Never go to sleep angry!" "Tis better to have loved and lost..." "You have to love yourself before you can really love someone else." Gag.

So today, we're tearing them down, again! We've got returning guests Andrew McLeod of Union Beer and Antony Raymond of the Elsinore County Theatre Company back to break down a few new dating cliches, weigh in on dating profiles phrases that make us yawn and swipe left, and go through a few round of sexy never-have-I-ever.

It's our last show of the summer season – and our first whole year of Love Bites! – so we're celebrating with good friends and a fun chat. Have a listen.

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Ah, alcohol.

It can be a first-date necessity, when nerves and questions and vulnerabilities are at their peak. Or it can be our greatest downfall, when "just one more" turns into "one-plus-four too many."

On today's show, we discuss how alcohol can help or hinder early love, sharing our worst first-date sloppiness, and how it's affected our lives (and struggles) overall. Then we're joined by sommelier and author Diane McMartin of This Calls for a Drink: The Best Wines and Beers to Pair with Every Situation (Workman, 2016). How does she go about pairing wine with heartbreak? Beer with Netflix? What are the big don'ts she sees first date couples making when they place their beverage order? And what has drinking for a living taught her about love?

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It happens. One day, our bodies are crying “I NEED SEX!” with such force that we can barely think of anything else. The next, we couldn’t get in on if our top-of-the-list celebrity was standing in front of us in nothing but their knickers and a smile.

What is up with that?

On today’s show, we spill on some personal wins, with Ben being in a relationship and Jacqueline deciding to extend her social media / dating app cleanse for another 50 days.

Then we’re joined by Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg, who spells out why some of us (cough, Jacqueline) get really frisky in the hotter summer months, why lack of libido can affect any of us at any time, and how we can start a conversation with our doctors about what we’re thinking and feeling regarding a drastic change in sex drive.

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Does "love at first sight" exist?

If we break it down to bits and pieces, "love at first sight" is a combination of sexual attraction (hormones), curiosity and the elusive "intuition", right? It can be our best friend... or our fiercest enemy. It can guide us to real, lasting, life-changing love... or to seeking out bottles of whisky and pints of ice cream in our heartbroken despair.

On today's show, we discuss how intuition has served us romantically in the past. Then we're joined by Iris Higgins, a hypnotherapist and life coach who founded the online retreat center, The Goldilocks Movement, to help guide women into discovering the most creative and intuitive selves.

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On today's show, we're joined by Laura Gosheff and Julia Peterson of the Living Lotus Project. Their show, Phoenix Rising (playing off-Broadway at the Lion Theatre through July 16th), tracks the stories of five young girls working through violence done upon them by the family and friends in their lives, and the counselor helping them "find their fire."

Gosheff is the writer and director of the piece; Peterson one of the six actors, and a core member of Living Lotus. We discuss the origin stories presented in their piece, the personal histories of the team involved, how they include or separate those stories from their work, and in what ways they most believe we can move forward in ending violence against girls and women.

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