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Patrick and Cindi Pistelli share how to hold on when life doesn't slow down, offering comfort and practical wisdom for navigating seasons of emotional overload and transition. They discuss finding peace amidst chaos through trusting God's presence and learning to release control.

• Recent transitions including a new job, children moving, and high school graduation creating a state of emotional overload
• The importance of self-care in the middle of chaos rather than waiting for life to slow down
• Letting go as children grow up and trusting that we've prepared them well
• The unique challenge of vulnerability in ministry positions
• Breaking down overwhelming tasks into manageable pieces
• Finding stillness to hear God's voice during life's storms
• Remembering that our peace and rest matter - "there's no award for burnout"

If you're in a season of emotional overload and ready for support, Cindi is opening spaces for new coaching clients. Visit our website or social media links in the show notes to learn more about working with her through this season.

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Cindi shares her deeply personal journey of losing her identity after quickly remarrying, moving to a new town, and becoming a stepmom. Patrick joins the conversation as they explore the silent grief of starting over and how Cindi finally found her way back to herself.

• Cindi describes the rapid life changes: selling her home, moving to Patrick's house, changing her daughter's school, and losing her independence
• The struggle of becoming known primarily as "Patrick's wife" in a small town while feeling like she was "renting space" in his world
• How Cindi  kept her office an hour away because it felt like "the last thing that was still mine"
• The breakthrough that came through coaching certification, helping Cindi  uncover buried grief and reconnect with her values
• Patrick's perspective on watching his wife struggle and feeling helpless to fix the situation
• Cindi's decision to create a home office in her grandparents' old shed – bringing something with deep roots into her new life
• The growth that comes through difficult seasons and how these experiences can help others facing similar challenges

If you're finding yourself in that in-between space where life looks fine on the outside but you feel lost inside, reach out. You're not selfish for wanting something that's yours. You're not too old or too far gone, and it's definitely not too late.

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We explore the complex journey of reconciling our long-held dreams with our evolving core values, using my personal Florida dream as a lens to understand divine refinement of our goals.

• When two beautiful dreams pull in different directions 
• When goals don't align with your core values, your soul will resist - that's not failure, it's feedback
• Our brains often protect us from the unknown through procrastination and delay
• Discerning between red flags and just unfamiliar terrain requires alignment, grit, and consistency
• Finding ways to reshape dreams instead of abandoning them completely
• Taking your vision and laying it before God with open hands rather than demands
• Using journaling to clarify thoughts and reveal what's truly in your heart
• Refining dreams is about aligning them with truth, not shrinking them

Take 20 minutes this week to sit quietly with God and ask Him to help you with your vision. Journal your dream and evaluate whether it aligns with your values, season, purpose, and peace.

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Patrick and Cindi Pistelli share their journey through life's "middle chapter" as they face multiple transitions at once, including children leaving home, new jobs, and changing family dynamics.

• Navigating the bittersweet nature of watching children grow up and leave home
• Finding purpose when your primary role as a parent begins to change
• Understanding that times of transition are actually opportunities for transformation
• The importance of leaning on faith during seasons of uncertainty
• Comparing life transitions to a butterfly's transformation in a cocoon
• Embracing new dreams and possibilities when familiar seasons end
• Learning to build new relationships with adult children

If you got something out of this episode, be sure to follow or subscribe to Love in the Hard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. Please take time to leave a review, especially if you listen on Apple Podcasts, and share this episode on social media by tagging us at Loving the Hard on Facebook and Instagram.

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Have you ever found yourself waiting for an apology that never came? That elusive "I'm sorry" that would somehow make everything right again? Today we dive deep into the challenging territory of forgiving without apology—that messy, complicated space where healing becomes entirely your choice.

We thoughtfully dismantle the myth that forgiveness means what happened was okay or that you must immediately trust someone again. Instead, they frame forgiveness as a deliberate release—a choice to stop carrying the weight of resentment for your own freedom.

What makes this conversation so powerful is how they balance spiritual wisdom with practical application. Drawing from biblical examples like Jesus forgiving from the cross while being actively mocked, they demonstrate that forgiveness isn't dependent on receiving an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Then they offer tangible steps forward: releasing the need for justice, acknowledging your pain through prayer or journaling, setting healthy boundaries, and speaking your forgiveness aloud to break the cycle of waiting.

Whether you're dealing with deep wounds from the past or currently navigating a relationship where bitterness is brewing, this episode provides both the compassion and tools needed to choose peace. Forgiveness without an apology isn't about them—it's about your freedom.  Ready to set down those heavy bags you've been carrying? This conversation might be exactly what you need to take that first step toward healing.

Please follow or subscribe to Love in the Hard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Leave a review, especially on Apple Podcasts, and share this episode on social media by tagging us @LovinTheHard on Facebook and Instagram.

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Depression feels like a fog over your heart and mind—a weight that makes even the simplest tasks like getting out of bed feel impossible. In this deeply personal episode, Patrick and Cindi Pistelli explore what depression really is beyond clinical definitions, offering a compassionate perspective for those suffering and those supporting loved ones through the darkness.

We unpack the various origins of depression—from brain chemistry and trauma to chronic stress and spiritual exhaustion. Depression isn't just about having a bad day; it's a complex interplay of mental, emotional, and physical factors that can affect anyone, regardless of circumstances. Those experiencing depression aren't weak or lacking faith—they're facing a real struggle that deserves understanding and support.

For faith communities, we address the harmful misconception that depression indicates spiritual failure. Even biblical heroes like David experienced profound despair, flooding his bed with tears and feeling forgotten. Your relationship with God can remain strong even when your emotions feel broken. You can love Jesus and still need therapy; you can trust God and still feel tired in your soul. The God who walks with you on the mountaintop remains just as present in your darkest valley.

Whether you're personally battling depression or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical wisdom and heartfelt encouragement. For those in the depths, we emphasize that this isn't the end of your story—there is light ahead, even if it's just a flicker right now. For supporters, we explain why your presence matters more than perfect words. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer is simply sitting in silence, checking in consistently, and reminding them they're not a burden. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they're not alone in their struggle.

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Clint and Amber Nelson share their powerful story of faith, resilience, and finding purpose after losing their son Chandler to cancer at age 20. Their journey demonstrates how they've turned unimaginable grief into advocacy through the Elevate Foundation while preserving their marriage and supporting their surviving son Tyler.

• Chandler was diagnosed with Stage 4 alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma at 18 years old, just before his high school graduation
• COVID-19 delayed treatment, allowing the tumor to grow significantly before intervention
• The Nelsons experienced several "miracles" throughout Chandler's cancer journey, including moments of healing and special opportunities
• They describe their first year of grief as "floating in a fog" with the second year being harder as support naturally waned
• Visiting Chandler's grave daily has become an important ritual connecting them to their son
• Their work with the Elevate Foundation focuses on childhood cancer research, advocacy, and legislation
• The Riley Grief Services program provided crucial support, helping them connect with other families experiencing similar loss
• Their marriage strengthened rather than fractured, which they attribute to their foundation of faith and friendship
• They emphasize the importance of allowing grief to express itself in all forms, including anger

If you're interested in learning more about childhood cancer advocacy or supporting the Elevate Foundation, visit elevatechildhoodcancer.org.

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Trauma doesn't simply fade away—it embeds itself in our bodies, manifesting as physical ailments, relationship patterns, and emotional responses long after the triggering events. In this deeply personal conversation, Patrick and Cindy Pistelli explore how our bodies literally hold onto past pain and how this stored trauma affects every aspect of our lives.

The discussion begins with a crucial distinction: trauma isn't defined by events themselves but by how our bodies process and respond to them. Cindy vulnerarily shares her experience of living in perpetual fight-or-flight mode—a state so constant that medical tests revealed her body never fully relaxes, even during sleep. Meanwhile, Patrick describes his tendency to freeze when triggered, preventing him from taking necessary action. These trauma responses create tangible health consequences from chronic pain and digestive issues to autoimmune conditions and severe fatigue.

Beyond physical manifestations, unhealed trauma dynamically reshapes our relationships. Many people unconsciously "unpack their baggage" in new relationships, creating cycles of mistrust, sabotage, and emotional withdrawal. This explains why second marriages often struggle and why some couples fight about the same issues for years without resolution. The Pistellis candidly acknowledge their own healing journeys, modeling the vulnerability they encourage in listeners.

The episode offers practical, faith-centered approaches to healing, including breathing exercises, scripture-based narrative reframing, physical movement, and prayer. Most powerfully, they remind listeners that everyone carries some form of trauma—whether "big T" or "little t"—and deserves patience and grace during their healing process. The healing journey may temporarily intensify symptoms as buried emotions surface, but breakthrough awaits those who persevere.

For anyone feeling trapped by their past or puzzled by persistent physical and emotional patterns, this episode offers both validation and hope. As Cindy beautifully summarizes: "You're not broken, you're healing. Trauma might have shaped your past, but it does not define your future." Ready to release what your body has been holding? Your healing journey can start today.

https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Body-Louise-Hay/dp/0937611352

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Trauma is often misunderstood and misused in everyday language, encompassing far more than just big, obvious events and including how our bodies and minds respond when pain gets stuck. We break down the difference between genuine trauma and everyday hardships, exploring how unresolved trauma manifests in our relationships, self-perception, and faith.

• Emotional neglect creates adults who struggle to trust their own emotions
• Conditional love in childhood leads to perfectionism and constant approval-seeking
• Comparison trauma teaches us to suppress authenticity and feel we must prove we belong
• Betrayal in relationships creates hypervigilance and fear of abandonment
• Trauma gets physically stuck in the body, changing how we operate until we address it
• Healing begins with acknowledging pain and understanding someone else's actions don't define your worth
• Setting boundaries is crucial after betrayal as trust must be earned
• Speaking truth over yourself breaks the cycle of negative self-talk

Join us next week as we continue this conversation about trauma and explore its physical impact on our bodies. Remember, Love is worth it, even in the hard.

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Anger at God might be one of the most taboo emotions in faith communities, yet it's a universal human experience during seasons of suffering. Patrick Pistelli flies solo in this vulnerable episode, diving deep into what happens when we find ourselves furious with the divine.

The catalyst for this conversation was a powerful encounter Patrick had during a home inspection with a man whose life story was marked by devastating losses—his mother at 18, followed by two sisters, all while praying for healing that never seemed to come. This man's raw anger toward God mirrors what many believers secretly harbor but fear to express.

Patrick dismantles the myth that being angry at God is sinful by showcasing biblical figures who brought their unfiltered emotions directly to their Creator. David's tears soaking his bed, Job speaking from the bitterness of his soul, and Elijah's complaints after Mount Carmel reveal that God isn't threatened by our honest emotions—He welcomes them.

What truly matters isn't the presence of anger but what we do with it. Patrick offers a roadmap for processing these difficult feelings: acknowledge your pain without pretense (God already knows what's in your heart), redirect your anger appropriately (understanding suffering's true sources), bring your hurt directly to God instead of just venting to others, remember God's true nature even when pain distorts your perception, and actively seek heart healing.

Perhaps most powerfully, Patrick reframes his own sister's death, recognizing God's unexpected mercy in her passing—sparing her the ongoing pain of missing her child's milestones and allowing her the ultimate expression of motherhood by giving her life for her son. Sometimes God's healing looks radically different than we anticipated.

Are you wrestling with anger toward God right now? Know you're not alone. When life feels unbearable, try "running toward the roar"—moving toward God rather than away from Him. That's where true healing begins.

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