The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, and Ginny Lupka and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains honest discussion of infertility, pregnancy loss, grief, and the mental health impact of reproductive trauma.

In this bonus episode, Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka go beyond the conversation and hand you an actual toolkit: a free downloadable mental health manual, a proven communication framework used in couples therapy, and an honest conversation about the guilt, grief, and boundaries that come with navigating infertility as a couple and within a family system.

Whether you're in the two-week wait, processing a loss, or struggling to feel like a united front with your partner, this episode gives you tools you can use today.

Free Digital Download — Dr. Clay's Infertility & Mental Health Manual 

• Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals

• Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, Justine Froelker, and Chad Froelker and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains honest discussion of infertility treatment, embryo loss, pregnancy grief, and the emotional weight of ending a fertility journey without children. 

What if you did everything right and it still didn't work? After two rounds of IVF, a gestational surrogate, and three embryo losses, Justine and Chad Froekler made the decision most fertility clinics never prepare you for: they stopped. This episode is about what comes after and how a marriage can survive the odds.

Justine Froelker, LPC is a licensed professional counselor, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and certified Brené Brown Dare to Lead facilitator. Her book Ever Upward was one of the first published accounts of living childfree after infertility. She has been featured on the Today Show and in numerous national publications.

Chad Froelker is Justine's husband of 18 years. He brings a rare and honest male perspective on carrying grief silently, making hard decisions as a couple, and finding a way forward when the journey ends differently than planned.

• Connect with Justine and Chad → https://justinefroelker.com/

• Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals

• Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/

• Learn more about the Four Pillars approach → lhttps://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars 

• Connect with Ginny Lupka →  https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling
  

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance and Marjorie Brigance and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, male-factor infertility diagnosis, IUI and IVF treatment, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, sub-chorionic hematoma, preterm labor, postpartum depression and anxiety, emergency hysterectomy, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to Love & Infertility — the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today’s episode is a very special one: host and therapist Dr. Clay Brigance turns the mic around as he and his wife Marjorie share the story that sparked this podcast.

When Clay and Marjorie started trying to have children in 2017, they assumed, like most couples, that it would happen quickly. What followed was years they never planned for, including a male-factor infertility diagnosis, multiple rounds of IUI, one egg retrieval and four embryos, a Christmas Day pregnancy, a sub-chorionic hematoma, a preterm labor, and ultimately, a life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage that ended in an emergency hysterectomy at 35 — with two frozen embryos still waiting.

Through it all, Clay and Marjorie navigated shame, isolation, grief, and the complicated work of staying connected when it felt impossible. Their story is raw, honest, and full of hard-won hope — and it is the reason Love & Infertility exists.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

(02:08) Marjorie was poked and prodded first and before the male-factor infertility diagnosis that changed everything 

(05:07) Clay on the shame and masculinity crisis that came with the diagnosis 

(13:34) Sub-chorionic hematoma: what it is, why it's common in IVF, and what it feels like to bleed every day of your first trimester 

(16:36) How Clay minimized Marjorie's anxiety trying to rescue her and how that made her feel more alone 

(19:45) Baby Jonah arrives and why the trauma doesn't stop once the baby is here

(22:20) One week postpartum: hemorrhaging, five hours in a packed ER waiting room, placenta accreta, and an emergency hysterectomy 

(27:01) Processing the hysterectomy: grief, postpartum depression, identity loss, and the feeling that womanhood was taken away 

(30:33) How infertility led Clay to leave school psychology and pursue a PhD in counseling 

(34:14) From fixing to listening: the shift that changed their marriage 

(40:19) The one thing Clay wants every couple to hear: infertility doesn't have to destroy your marriage

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

LET'S CONNECT:

Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

• Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Lana Manikowski and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, unexplained infertility diagnosis, IUI and IVF treatment, chromosomally abnormal embryo, childlessness not by choice, identity loss and grief, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to episode five of Love & Infertility, the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka revisit their conversation with Lana Manikowski, drawing out the key relationship insights and offering practical tools that couples can use right now.

Lana's journey began with an unexplained infertility diagnosis at 37. Over seven years, she and her husband Jack navigated multiple rounds of IUI and IVF before receiving the heartbreaking news that their one remaining embryo was chromosomally abnormal. Facing the end of the road with no children, Lana sat with the most disorienting question imaginable: "So now what?"

Clay and Ginny unpack what made Lana and Jack's marriage survive and even strengthen through it all: the power of honoring different grief styles, trading guilt for grief, and the quiet, connecting skill of interpersonal mindfulness.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

(01:47) Why partners rarely grieve infertility the same way — and why that's okay 

(03:54) Interpersonal mindfulness: seeing your partner's experience without losing your own 

(05:43) Self-criticism during infertility and how to swap guilt for grief and acceptance 

(09:45) The dual process of grief: how pain and growth can coexist 

(18:41) Learning to attune instead of debate 

(21:57) Losing together to win: why curiosity beats convincing 

(25:24) Joy and grief both need community to be fully processed

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• So Now What? Creating the Life You Love Without the Children You Always Wanted by Lana Manikowski

• Free Download: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond 

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

LET'S CONNECT:

Lana Manikowski

• Website: LanaManikowski.com

• Instagram: @lana.manikowski

• Lana Manikowski on YouTube

  
  

  Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  
  

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

• Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com
  

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Lana Manikowski and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, unexplained infertility diagnosis, IUI and IVF treatment, chromosomally abnormal embryo, childlessness not by choice, identity loss and grief, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to episode four of Love & Infertility — the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka sit down with Lana Manikowski, author, life coach, and infertility advocate, for one of their most honest and hope-filled conversations yet.

Lana's journey began with an unexplained infertility diagnosis at 37. Over the next seven years, she and her husband Jack navigated multiple rounds of IUI and IVF, and then received the heartbreaking news that their one remaining embryo was chromosomally abnormal. Facing the end of the road with no children, no resources from her clinic, and no one in her life openly talking about childlessness, Lana found herself sitting with the most disorienting question imaginable: “So now what?”

What followed was a quiet, courageous reclamation of her identity, her marriage, and her sense of purpose. Through the forced stillness of the pandemic, a chance encounter with life coaching, and a decision to finally tell the truth about her story, Lana became the resource she never had. Today she coaches women navigating life after infertility and is the author of So Now What? Creating the Life You Love Without the Children You Always Wanted — a bold, actionable guide filled with hope for anyone standing at the other side of a dream that didn't come true.

What You'll Learn:

(04:17) Lana's story: from achieving it all to an unexplained infertility diagnosis at 37

(10:21) The end of biological parenthood and what "so now what?" actually feels like

(18:19) The pandemic wake-up call: who am I when I can't escape into work anymore?

(22:21) How life coaching changed the story Lana believed about herself

(29:03) How Lana and Jack rebuilt their marriage with intention

(33:09) Why Lana wrote So Now What? — and why she made the cover hot pink

(41:21) Faith, identity, and belonging when infertility shakes your sense of place

(46:44) Conflict during IVF: different coping styles, carrying the burden, and learning to forgive yourself

(57:49) Why going to therapy is like putting on a cast — and why you don't have to wear it forever

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• So Now What? Creating the Life You Love Without the Children You Always Wanted by Lana Manikowski

• Free Download: "Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond" 

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

LET'S CONNECT:

Lana Manikowski

• Website: LanaManikowski.com

• Instagram: @lana.manikowski

• Lana Manikowski on YouTube

  
  

  Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  
  

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

  Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, Susan Sirpilla, and Johnny Sirpilla and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to episode three and our first recap episode of Love & Infertility—the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka unpack their conversation with Johnny and Susan Sirpilla, drawing out the key relationship insights and offering practical tools that couples can use right now.

Johnny and Susan survived IVF, the loss of triplets, a twin miscarriage, a complicated international adoption journey, and a male-factor infertility diagnosis — all while keeping their marriage not just intact, but stronger than ever. Clay and Ginny examine what made that possible, and translate those lessons into skills every couple can practice.

What You’ll Learn:

(01:07) The gift of hindsight when processing grief

(05:58) Balancing conflict and connection in trauma

(11:07) Recurrent loss and its impact

(17:42) Building community and support networks

(25:24) Effective communication during crisis

(28:47) Encouragement to practice mindful engagement

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Life is Hard, But I'll Be Okay by Johnny Sirpilla 

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

LET'S CONNECT:

Johnny & Susan Sirpilla

• Book: Life is Hard, But I'll Be Okay by Johnny Sirpilla

• Website: Encourage 33

  Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

• Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, Susan Sirpilla, and Johnny Sirpilla and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to episode two of Love & Infertility—the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. Today, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka sit down with Johnny and Susan Sirpilla to hear their extraordinary story of love, loss, and resilience.

Johnny and Susan's journey through infertility led them to IVF and the birth of triplets Nicholas, Mary, and Peter who lived only brief, sacred moments. After this unimaginable loss, they faced more heartbreak: miscarriage of twins, a complicated international adoption process, and the challenge of rebuilding their lives while honoring their children.

What sets Johnny and Susan apart is not just what they survived, but how they survived it—together. In this conversation, they reveal the decisions, the grace, and the intentional choices that allowed grief to deepen their love instead of destroying it.

What You’ll Learn:

(02:15) Johnny and Susan’s story of love, loss, and resilience

(07:17) The impact of losing triplets and rebuilding

(14:02) How they Support each other through grief and loss

(16:25) The importance of humility and acceptance in marriage

(39:34) Reflections on family, legacy, and gratitude

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Life is Hard, But I'll Be Okay by Johnny Sirpilla 

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

LET'S CONNECT:

Johnny & Susan Sirpilla:

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

• Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode contains topics that may be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to Love & Infertility—the podcast specifically created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together.

In this powerful pilot episode, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka introduce the four research-based pillars that determine whether infertility will strengthen or destroy your relationship.

If you've ever felt like infertility is isolating your relationship instead of bringing you closer, you're not alone. Research shows that 30% of couples separate during the infertility journey, while 25% report growing stronger and more connected, regardless of whether they ever have a baby. So, what makes the difference?

What You'll Learn:

(00:12) The critical gap in infertility support for couples

(01:39) Dr. Clay's personal infertility story and how it shaped his research

(10:02) Why 25% of couples grow stronger through infertility (regardless of whether they have a baby)

(10:39)  Introduction to the Four Pillars of Connection for couples

(18:15) The #1 mistake partners make: trying to "fix" each other's emotions

(22:08) Why infertility feels so isolating

Resources Mentioned:

• Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief by Dr. Clay Brigance, coming Fall 2026
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy 
• Infertility and Mental Health Manual 

Let’s Connect:

Dr. Clay Brigance

Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time" 

  Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com

Love & Infertility is the podcast for couples who are in the thick of it — navigating IVF cycles, IUI attempts, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, and the relentless emotional weight of reproductive trauma, together. Hosted by therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka, LPC, this is the conversation the infertility world has been missing: not just about the medical journey, but about what happens to your relationship while you're in it.

Because here's the truth nobody talks about enough: infertility doesn't just affect your body. It moves into your marriage. It sits at the dinner table. It shows up in the silences, the misread moments, the nights when you're both grieving but in completely different ways — and neither of you knows how to reach the other. Research shows that 30% of couples separate during the infertility journey. That number is staggering, and it doesn't have to be your story.

But here's what else the research shows: 25% of couples come out of the infertility journey stronger and more deeply connected — regardless of whether they ever have a baby. So what's the difference? What do those couples know, do, and choose that changes everything? That's exactly what Dr. Clay and Ginny are here to unpack.

In the pilot episode, Dr. Clay and Ginny introduce the Four Pillars of Connection — a research-based framework developed to help couples not just survive infertility, but use it as a catalyst for deeper intimacy, understanding, and partnership. Dr. Clay also shares his own personal infertility story and how it became the foundation of his clinical work and his forthcoming book, Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief (Fall 2026). This isn't theory from the outside. This is hard-earned wisdom from people who have lived it and spent careers helping others do the same.

Every episode of Love & Infertility is designed to give couples real tools, honest conversation, and the reassurance that what they're feeling is valid. You'll hear about the #1 mistake partners make when trying to support each other (hint: it involves trying to fix emotions instead of sitting with them), why infertility so often creates isolation inside the very relationship that needs to be your safe harbor, and how to begin rebuilding connection — even mid-cycle, even mid-grief.

Whether you're just starting your fertility journey, deep in your third round of IVF, processing a loss, or trying to figure out what your relationship looks like on the other side — this podcast is for you. It's for the partner who doesn't know what to say. It's for the one carrying the physical burden. It's for the couple who loves each other deeply and is scared that this thing might be bigger than them.

It doesn't have to be.

New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube so you never miss a conversation that could change the way you and your partner walk through this — together.

The content shared on Love & Infertility is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice. This podcast contains discussions of infertility, reproductive trauma, pregnancy loss, IVF, IUI, and mental health challenges, which may be difficult for some listeners.