If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything!

They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life.)

Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership by examining the influence of our temperament, birth order, and our family of origin’s (unwritten) rules regarding conflict resolution.

I ask Elliott to share examples from his over 30 years of counseling couples—which he does. But he also analyzes Dan and me!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection.

That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it.

Join Elliott and me as we discuss Thomas–Kilmann’s conflict style framework—a model Elliott has used with couples for over 30 years.

Discover your conflict style and learn how to move through disputations with your partner!

Spoiler alert:  Elliott and I get personal in this episode—sharing our own conflict styles and how we respond when disagreeing with our spouses.

Conflict Style Framework

Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Do you feel judged for your financial choices? 

If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.

 And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing. 

Emily Burnett should know. 

In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt. 

She felt the shame. 

Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she now helps others create a plan to move from financial shackles to financial freedom! 

How to get support! 

Emily is offering a free masterclass—Budgeting That Doesn’t Feel Like a Chore: Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. 3 Simple Steps for Changing Your Money and Your Life—For Good. Sign up here! https://www.mosomoney.com/masterclass 

Dr. Karin 

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ 

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook 

Instagram: @dr.karin 

Single is the New Black: 

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible 

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience.

Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions:

These are very common and important questions; we hope our discussion will help you on your journey to deep, authentic intimacy!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy.

Specifically, we tackle the following:

Yes, love is a mystery, but we can take some of the confusion out of it by keeping our head in the game! Elliott—along with his over 30 years of experience working with couples—is here to help!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

It’s time for another Love & Life Live! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson invited me to join him at Judson University last week in his Interpersonal Relationships class. In part 1 of the live, we delve into: The characteristics of authentic intimate relationships. The characteristics of intimate conversations. Healthy, appropriate pacing in friendship development. The characteristics of long-term romantic relationships. The weaknesses in connection that create relationship uncertainty. Find out if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance in part 1 of our latest Love & Life Live! 

Elliott Anderson 

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson 

Dr. Karin 

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ 

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook 

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black: 

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible 

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Kara and I are back with an Instagram Live to talk about how to date empowered!

In today’s live we cover these realities and MORE!

Join us to learn how to stop giving away your power in dating and relationships!

Kara Adams

Website: https://www.thefabkara.com/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you!  Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to avoid repeating painful patterns.  Elliott and I discuss:

Elliott also talks about his new book, Simon Says: Principles and Perspectives from Dr. Simon V. Anderson.  Simon Says shares the abundant wisdom of our father and the profound and enduring impact he had on his children and community.

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Elliott is back to answer your questions about cultivating healthy, happy relationships! We address the following questions you posed on Instagram:

1.     Which is more important—personality or looks?

2.     You two make me happy. What are your signs?

3.     Are you twins?

4.     I just started a new relationship. What are some of the things we can do to know if this is it? Neither of us has been in a relationship this healthy before.

Join us to hear our thoughts on these questions. Also, Elliott goes into depth regarding our sibling bond—including the contentious years!

https://www.loveandlifemedia.com/podcast/episode/25f6a348/how-to-build-deep-romantic-intimacy-love-and-life-live-at-judson-university-with-elliott-anderson-ma-ep-186

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, Instagram, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Unpopular opinion:  Relationships shouldn’t be all that hard.

It’s an unpopular opinion because the rhetoric around relationships is that they’re so incredibly difficult; you just gotta dig in and not give up.

And yes, once we’ve committed—when we’re married, and we’ve taken vows, and there might be children involved, of course I believe in persevering and sticking with it. As we move through struggles we can—and do—deepen our intimacy. We can emerge stronger after a period of difficulty.

So, this isn’t about bailing out the moment things get tough.

Rather, I’m talking about the relationship phase of dating—when, as we talk about a lot on Love & Life—we’re gathering information about our partner and determining if we’re a fit. And, what often happens, and what I ended up doing myself at times—we make the mistake of committing too much in the exclusive phase. i.e. we act like we’re married when we’re not married. We keep sticking with a relationship that’s not working and try soooooo hard to make it work.

We need to ask ourselves, if a relationship is such hard work, does it mean it’s not SUPPOSED to work?

Join me to learn the 3 key factors to consider when trying to figure out, “Should I stay or should I go?”

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes