Love Like Hell

When there is a breach of trust, large, small, implicit, or explicit, the thrill of a relationship goes away. The connection is strained and intimacy can be the furthest thing from our minds. Building back that connection through means of erotic recovery is a tool the come back to one another. This episode goes into what erotic recovery means and how to use it.

In this episode of Love Like Hell:

• Bringing safety back to intimacy 
• A breach of trust comes in many forms
• Connection returns through walking one foot at a time in willingness 
• Connection over expectation
• Strengthening the practice of acceptance

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

When relationships don’t work, it’s rarely because of whatever is going on in the present moment. There is a history at play. When that history isn’t brought to the surface, evaluated, accepted, and processed, then patterns continue to play out. This episode takes a look at how where we’ve been can tell us where we’re going next.

In this episode of Love Like Hell:

• Avoidance and pursuit: Uncovering patterns in relating 
• Rewriting our unconscious contracts
• What is shadow work
• Deciphering defense mechanisms
• How history reveals the here and now

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

Check out The Rope - Men’s Circle

Listen to episode 2. Foreshadowing about family of origin

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

So many of us are afraid to be seen for who we really are. Sometimes we don’t even want to truly see ourselves. The more we reinforce that pattern of unintentional deception, the harder it is to be honest when we need help to change. It takes courage to change and it takes courage to change. In this episode, Kristi and Rainier discuss what it was like to finally accept where they were and reach out for help. 

In this episode of Love Like Hell

• Real life crisis and being afraid of being seen
• Finding stability in the chaos of life
• Stepping out of the comfort zone to change what can’t be changed
• Realigning to Integrity and relentlessly pursuing authenticity
• Making the decision to ask for help

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

Check out The Rope - Men’s Circle

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

We all have a tendency to showcase our greatest traits in the beginning of a relationship. We don’t want to go into the shadow side, the mistakes, the challenging questions. We don’t want the other person to run, we want to belong. Eventually we can’t hide anymore and shadows come to light. In this episode, Kristi and Rainier talk about the beginning stages of their relationship and how that shaped their relationship now.

In this episode of Love Like Hell

• Projecting our own stories onto others 
• Remembering the roots of relationship 
• Dating apps and knowing what we’re getting into
• Red flags and why we ignore them
• Focusing too heavily on the relationship, and not the partner 

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

In the aftermath of an affair, there’s a desperate search. It’s a search for some kind of anchor in a whirling storm that has no end in sight. Shame, guilt, anger, it’s challenging enough to navigate one’s own emotions, let alone another’s. Who can you trust, who can you rely on to be a support, to feel seen, to be heard, without preconceived stories getting in the way. We need backup.

In this episode of Love Like Hell

• Looking for help: Who can you rely on
• Unpacking the paralyzing story of shame
• Navigating family dynamics in crisis
• After the affair: To leave or to stay 
• Holding another’s emotions without villainizing the story

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

Relationship dynamics, personal roles, how we deal with conflict, these patterns can be passed down for years and years, generation after generation, until someone takes a look at its origin. If we don’t get curious about how our past can affect our future, we can get stuck in the grooves of time. The clues that foreshadow our path are there, are we brave enough to look?

In this episode of Love Like Hell

• Uncovered family truths 
• Identifying intergenerational patterns and tools for working through them 
• Finding hope when there is seemingly only fear 
• Questions to ask your partner about family of origin

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

What happens when the one who brings you the most comfort is the one that hurts you? How many questions come up when you become a stranger to yourself and everything you know about the life you have comes crumbling down in a single moment? To solve a mystery, start at the scene of the crime.

In this episode of Love Like Hell

• Discovering the double life: When your husband becomes a stranger
• Making sense of infidelity
• Managing crises in relationship 
• The rule book for when the one you love is the one who hurt you 
• Building a relationship on rocky foundation

Follow Rainier:

• Instagram: @rainierwylde
• Newsletter

Follow Kristi:

• Instagram: @kristimarieborn
• Website: kristiborn.com

This show is produced by Soulfire Productions

A couple investigates the landscape of modern relationships, exploring their own issues as they reveal how connections are often born, solidify, and at times unravel. Rainier Wylde and Kristi Born (both highly trained as clinical psychotherapists) take an intimate and probing look at the mysteries of committed connections, monogamy, infidelity, marriage, eroticism, forgivingness, attachment and trust. Their story offers a vision of real people taking extraordinary risks, caring courageously and loving like hell.