Abuse in caregiving relationships is rarely what people expect — and it's almost never talked about openly. In this episode, Esther Kane (retired OT and Certified Aging in Place Specialist) and Laurie Newcomb (licensed professional counselor) tackle one of the most difficult realities family caregivers face: when the person they're caring for is also hurting them.

They explore the three most common forms of abuse caregivers experience — emotional, physical, and financial — and why so many caregivers minimize, excuse, or blame themselves rather than name what's happening. Laurie breaks down the warning signs that abuse may be affecting your mental health, and why fear entering a caregiving relationship is always a signal worth paying attention to.

This episode is for the caregiver who has always felt like "no matter what I do, it's never enough" — and needs permission to start telling the truth about their own experience.

Because compassion for others should never require the destruction of yourself.

You spent years — maybe decades — building distance from what happened in that house. And now you're back in the thick of it, not because you wanted to be, but because someone has to help. Caregiving has a way of doing that: pulling the past right into the present, making old wounds feel startlingly fresh. A tone of voice, a familiar criticism, a look — and suddenly you're not a capable adult anymore. You're that kid again, bracing for impact. This episode explores why caregiving so often reopens old family wounds, what's actually happening when the past bleeds into the present, and why your emotional reaction to your parent's behavior makes complete sense given your history together. If you've ever felt blindsided by how intensely caregiving affects you, this one is for you. You're not overreacting. You're remembering.

If you've ever felt manipulated, guilt-tripped, verbally attacked, or emotionally worn down by the very parent you're trying to care for — this episode is for you.

We don't talk enough about what happens when the caregiver is the one being harmed. In this episode of Love, Limits and Aging Parents, we're taking an honest look at emotional and psychological abuse in the caregiver relationship — specifically when it's coming from an aging parent.

You'll learn how to recognize the patterns, why it's so hard to name what's happening, and why the love you feel for your parent doesn't mean you have to accept mistreatment.

This isn't about blaming aging parents. It's about helping you see clearly, protect yourself, and make better decisions — for both of you.

If you've been wondering whether what you're experiencing is "really" abuse, this episode will help you find your answer.

Love, Limits and Aging Parents with Esther Kane, OTR/L, CAPS and Laurie Newcomb, LPC

Caring for an aging parent is one of the most loving things you can do. It can also be one of the most depleting — especially when love starts to blur into obligation, guilt, or burnout.

Love, Limits and Aging Parents is for adult children navigating the hard parts: the conversations that never go the way you planned, the boundaries that feel impossible to hold, and the quiet grief of watching someone you love change.

Each week, occupational therapist Esther Kane and licensed professional counselor Laurie Newcomb bring clinical insight and real-world honesty to the questions most families are afraid to say out loud — so you can show up for your parent without disappearing in the process.

Because loving someone well doesn't mean losing yourself.

New episodes every Monday.