When dementia takes away memories, what happens to identity—especially if the world never truly recognised it in the first place? In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Neil Cutler, advocate, presenter, and trustee at Dementia Forward. Drawing on his personal journey of caring for his late husband who lived with dementia, Neil shares candid insights into how dementia uniquely impacts older LGBT people. From navigating prejudice in care settings to the fight for inclusive dementia training, this is an unmissable conversation about love, loss, dignity, and the urgent need for change in health and social care.

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🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

Dementia Forward – Neil’s organisation supporting people living with dementia across communities.

Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

🧠 Three Key Messages

Identity matters in dementia care – recognising and respecting who someone is can be as important as supporting what they can do.

Language shapes inclusion – words like “placement” or “contact” can feel clinical; replacing them with “home” and “family time” fosters dignity.

Training is essential – mandatory LGBT dementia awareness training can transform care home culture and ensure no one is forgotten.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction: Dementia, memory, and identity

02:00 – Neil’s story: Love, care, and losing his husband to dementia

10:00 – How dementia impacts LGBT identity in care homes

16:00 – Person-centred care vs. identity never recognised

21:00 – Why inclusive training matters

25:00 – Activities, community, and belonging in care homes

34:00 – Family, friends, and chosen support networks

38:00 – Turning grief into purpose: Neil’s advocacy and training work

46:00 – Hopes for the future of inclusive dementia care

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?

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