Activities in dementia care should be about far more than filling time. In the first part of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo about how meaningful activities can preserve abilities, reduce psychological stress and help people living with dementia continue to feel capable, valued and connected.

Florence draws on her professional experience in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, alongside her family experience of dementia. She explains how familiar music, movement, conversation, games and everyday care tasks can become opportunities for connection.

This episode will be particularly valuable for professional carers, unpaid family caregivers, activity coordinators and anyone trying to maintain a relationship with someone whose communication or cognitive abilities are changing.

Florence explains why activities such as bingo can provide cognitive stimulation when they are adapted around the person’s abilities, rather than simply being used to keep people occupied.

She introduces the N.U.T.S. framework for understanding psychological stress:

Florence and Andy also explore how music, singing, movement and familiar helping roles can reduce stress without telling someone simply to “calm down”.

The conversation considers the different dementia-care lessons Florence has taken from working in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, including relationship-led personal care, individualised activities and protecting a person’s right to make decisions involving risk.

1. Meaningful activity is not simply entertainment.

2. Stress affects everyone involved in dementia care.

3. Connection does not depend upon conversation.

00:00 - What meaningful dementia activities really are

02:14 - Using existing abilities instead of focusing on losses

03:35 - Understanding stress through the N.U.T.S. framework

05:53 - How movement and singing can lower stress

11:14 - What different countries taught Florence about dementia care

13:49 - Making engagement part of everyday care

18:21 - Protecting choice, autonomy and positive risk-taking

20:10 - Rebuilding connection when dementia changes communication

22:54 - Activities as a bridge to the person

26:03 - Creating moments rather than expecting memories

28:56 - Recognising when an activity is increasing stress

Listen if you:

This episode offers a compassionate reminder that successful engagement is not measured by completing an activity perfectly. What matters is whether the person experiences safety, dignity, purpose and connection.

Florence Tyloo provides dementia engagement support, consultancy and practical workshops for professional and family caregivers.

Website:

Email:

Florence offers:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347

Florence refers to the work of Teepa Snow and the Positive Approach to Care, which supports practical, compassionate and ability-focused dementia care.

The framework discussed by Florence is based on the work of neuroscientist Sonia Lupien and the Centre for Studies on Human Stress:

The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060

Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has supported people living with dementia in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom.

Alongside her professional experience, Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease. Her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia in the same care home.

Florence’s work focuses on helping caregivers use meaningful activities to maintain connection, reduce stress, empower the person and create positive moments throughout the dementia journey.

The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to understand themselves, better understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems.

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If this conversation helps you think differently about dementia activities and meaningful engagement, please follow the podcast and share the episode with a caregiver, family member or colleague who may benefit.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Andy Baker continues with Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to explore what happens when parents and families are watched, assessed and misunderstood by the very systems meant to help them. This episode looks at the impact of labels such as addict, personality disorder or non-compliant, and asks what parents really need in order to feel safe enough to engage. It also digs into parenting after trauma, what support actually helps, why honesty and consistency matter, and how connection before correction should apply not only to children, but to the adults caring for them too. For teachers, caregivers, social workers and parents, this is a powerful discussion about accountability, compassion, system change and the possibility of breaking intergenerational cycles.

Why listen to this episode?

Three key messages:

Timestamps / chapters:

Resources mentioned / relevant links:

Ethan St Pierre

Able to Care / Able Training

Guest background:

In Part 1 of this powerful two-part conversation, Andy Baker is joined by Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to unpack what people most often get wrong about trauma, behaviour and labels. This episode explores why trauma is not always visible, why it should not be reduced to a single event, and how terms like attention seeking, manipulative, aggressive or perpetrator can block curiosity and shut down healing. For caregivers, teachers, parents and professionals, this is a thoughtful, honest discussion about fear, survival, identity and the danger of mistaking coping strategies for character flaws. If you support children, families or adults who have lived through adversity, this episode offers a more compassionate lens for understanding what behaviour might really be communicating.

Why listen to this episode?

Three key messages:**

Timestamps / chapters:

Resources mentioned / relevant links:

Ethan St Pierre

Guest background:

In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores one of the most common and emotionally loaded challenges in adult care, dementia support, residential services and home care: refusal. Too often, refusal is framed as non-compliance, defiance or “being difficult”. But what if refusal is actually communication? What if the behaviour is not about aggression, but about fear, vulnerability, pain, sensory overload, loss of control or a threat to dignity?

This episode is especially relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, support workers, care staff, parents and educators who want to better understand the people they support rather than simply control behaviour. Andy breaks down how personal care can feel threatening, why task-focused approaches can make things worse, and how a calmer, more relational response can reduce distress, protect trust and improve cooperation over time. He also introduces a practical framework - the 6 Cs - to help carers think more clearly in the moment and respond with more empathy, consistency and skill.

If you support someone who resists help, becomes distressed during care, or reacts strongly to tasks like washing, dressing, medication or personal support, this episode will help you:

understand why refusal is often communication, not simple defiance

reduce distress without power struggles or force

protect dignity, trust and emotional safety during care tasks

reflect more effectively on what is really driving resistance

use the 6 Cs to improve care planning, consistency and outcomes

Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance.

If you force the task, you may lose trust.

Better care starts with curiosity, not control.

00:00 - Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance

00:30 - The scenario: when personal care turns into an incident

01:15 - Why personal care can feel like a threat

02:58 - The 6 Cs: a practical framework for understanding refusal

03:10 - Comfort

03:32 - Consistency

05:55 - Connection before solution

07:02 - Choice, competency and challenge

09:19 - A better practical approach to refusal

11:04 - If they escalate, do not double down

12:52 - Refusal is data

Able Training - behaviour management, care training and practical support for professionals and services

Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker

The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead: A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis

Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast

If someone refuses personal care, medication or support, it is easy to focus on the task and miss the message. But behaviour is often the clearest communication a distressed person has. When we slow down, get curious and ask what has made this feel threatening, we give ourselves a better chance of responding with dignity, compassion and skill.

If this episode helped, please like, follow, share or comment so more caregivers, parents, teachers and support staff can access the conversation.

In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker continues his discussion with Rhiannon Hughes, exploring how her lived experience in care now shapes the way she recruits staff for children’s homes - and why that matters so much. Rhiannon shares what she looks for beyond a CV, the difference between an adult who simply works in a children’s home and one who genuinely changes a child’s life, and why consistency, emotional steadiness and therapeutic care matter more than ever. This episode will be especially valuable for residential childcare staff, managers, foster carers, social care leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed practice, workforce development and improving outcomes for children in care.

In this episode, we explore:

Three key messages from this episode:

Timestamps / Chapters:

Why listen to this episode:

Resources mentioned / useful links:

Follow Able / Able to Care:

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Rhiannon Hughes about her lived experience of growing up in care in both the UK and Spain, being separated from siblings, surviving instability, and carrying adult responsibilities from a very young age. Rhiannon shares what care felt like from the inside, what she needed most from the adults around her, and how trauma, inconsistency and loss shaped her journey. This episode will resonate with paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, foster carers, parents and anyone supporting children with trauma, attachment needs or care experience. It is an honest, moving conversation about grief, survival, resilience and why the right adult relationships matter so much.

In this episode, we explore:

Three key messages from this episode:

Timestamps / Chapters:

Why listen to this episode:

Resources mentioned / useful links:

Follow Able / Able to Care:

Coming next:

Phones, screens, devices and social media are now part of everyday life for children and young people - but the arguments, sleep disruption, emotional fallouts and power struggles that come with them are leaving many parents, carers and professionals unsure what to do next. In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores why simply taking a phone away might bring short-term compliance but can also create long-term resentment, covert behaviour and bigger escalations. Instead of asking only how to stop screen use, Andy unpacks what the phone may actually be doing for a young person - whether that is offering connection, comfort, control, competence, distraction or dopamine regulation - and why that matters if we want to create real change. This episode will be especially useful for paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, support staff and parents who want a more thoughtful, practical and trauma-informed way of managing screen-related behaviour.

1. The phone is often not the real problem

2. Punishment may stop the behaviour briefly, but it rarely teaches regulation

3. Better boundaries are built through calm planning, collaboration and repair

If you support a child or young person who becomes dysregulated around phones, social media, gaming or screen time, this episode will help you think more clearly and respond more effectively. Rather than relying on threats, bans or constant arguments, Andy offers a more nuanced way of understanding behaviour that fits real family life, care settings and educational environments. It is a practical listen for anyone trying to balance healthy boundaries with empathy, emotional safety and long-term skill building.

00:00 Why taking a phone away can create more problems than it solves

Free resource from Andy Baker

Able Training website

Andy’s book

Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast

If you’ve ever found yourself in a stand-off over a phone, this episode will help you step back, understand what is really going on, and build a more thoughtful plan that supports regulation, safety and healthier long-term habits.

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Carmel Saulbrey, Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code, about what it really takes to build strong, resilient teams in children’s residential care. This conversation explores the emotional demands placed on staff, why therapeutic care is about far more than specialist interventions, and how kindness, consistency and workforce development can change outcomes for both children and the adults supporting them. If you are a caregiver, teacher, parent, foster carer or support professional interested in trauma-informed practice, therapeutic care, staff wellbeing, and children’s residential homes, this episode offers practical insight and real honesty.

Andy and Carmel explore what makes a children’s home truly therapeutic on a day-to-day level, why staff burnout and turnover are such major issues in residential care, and how even good, caring adults can struggle under pressure when supporting children with trauma. Carmel shares why she believes kindness should be treated as a professional standard, not a soft extra, and explains how The Kindness Code was created to help staff practise therapeutic responses, build confidence, and embed training in real-life scenarios.

If you work with children who have experienced trauma, this episode will help you think more deeply about:

This is a thoughtful episode for anyone who wants to build safer relationships, stronger teams and more consistent care.

1. Therapeutic care is lived in the small moments.

2. Kindness is not weakness.

3. If we care for the team, the team can care for the children.

00:00 - Introduction and Carmel’s journey into children’s residential care

Carmel Saulbrey is the Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code. She is passionate about improving outcomes in children’s residential care by strengthening workforce development, supporting staff wellbeing, and helping teams embed therapeutic practice consistently. Carmel believes that by investing in compassionate, confident and well-supported teams, we create better environments for children and the adults who care for them.

Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast

In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker explores one of the most misunderstood behaviours in dementia care - pacing, repetitive walking and repeatedly saying “I need to go home”. Instead of dismissing this as “wandering”, Andy invites carers, teachers, parents and support staff to ask a better question: what is this behaviour trying to communicate? This episode looks at how repetitive behaviour can signal anxiety, sensory dysregulation, loneliness, discomfort, purpose, or an unmet need, and why correcting facts too quickly can make distress worse. If you support someone living with dementia, or anyone whose behaviour can become repetitive under stress, this episode offers a more curious, compassionate and practical way to respond.

What this episode covers:

Andy breaks down why repetitive walking is rarely pointless and is often a strategy to cope with stress, regulate the body, solve a problem or meet a need. He introduces a practical framework - See, Feel, Need, Do - to help supporters slow down, spot patterns, consider the emotional driver, identify possible unmet needs and respond in a more helpful way. He also connects this to the Human Motivation Triangle and the HELP model, showing how behaviour may be linked to human, emotional, location-based or physical needs.

Three key messages:

Timestamps:

00:00 - Reframing “wandering” as walking with purpose

Why listen to this episode?

This episode is especially useful if you support someone living with dementia and want to respond more effectively to pacing, restlessness or repeated requests to go home. It is also relevant for parents, teachers and support staff, because the wider principle applies beyond dementia care: repetitive behaviour often communicates stress, discomfort or unmet need. If you want a calmer, more person-centred way to understand behaviour, this conversation will give you practical tools you can start using straight away.

Resources mentioned:

Podcast: Able to Care Podcast

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If this episode helped you think differently about behaviour, please follow, share and leave a review so more carers, parents, teachers and support staff can find it.

What does it really mean to belong - and what happens when someone doesn’t?

In this powerful conversation, Andy sits down with Dr Lisa Cherry to unpack one of the most overlooked drivers behind behaviour: the human need for belonging and mattering. Drawing on over 35 years of experience across education, care, and trauma-informed practice, Lisa shares how experiences like school exclusion, care placements, and relational disruption can shape identity, behaviour, and lifelong outcomes.

This episode goes beyond theory. It explores what belonging feels like, how children communicate when they don’t have it, and why behaviour often makes more sense when you stop asking “what’s wrong?” and start asking “where do they belong?”

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this conversation will challenge assumptions, deepen empathy, and give you practical ways to create environments where people feel seen, safe, and significant.

1. Behaviour is often a search for belonging

2. Fitting in is not the same as belonging

3. Small moments create big impact

00:00 – Introduction and Lisa’s recent work in the US

If you’ve ever thought:

This episode offers a different lens.

It will help you:

Dr Lisa Cherry is an author, researcher, and international trainer specialising in trauma-informed practice and systemic change across education, care, and justice systems.

With over 35 years of experience, Lisa has worked globally supporting professionals to better understand and respond to those living with the legacy of trauma. Her research at the University of Oxford explored how care-experienced adults make sense of belonging.

She is the author of:

You’ll hear a lot in this episode about systems, trauma, and behaviour.

But underneath it all is a simple question worth sitting with:

Who feels like they belong in your world - and who might quietly feel like they don’t?