In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks why calling someone a “good kid” or a “bad kid” (or colleague, or parent) is a trap. You’ll learn how confirmation bias, the fundamental attribution error, and the halo/horn effect quietly shape our judgments—then get practical, trauma-informed ways to move from moral labels to needs-based, descriptive language. Perfect for parents, teachers, and carers who want better relationships, calmer behaviour, and fairer decisions.
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🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned
Confirmation Bias (explainer) — how we only see what we expect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
Fundamental Attribution Error — why we blame their character but excuse our context: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error
Halo/Horn Effect — first impressions that distort everything after: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker (the TARGET model & de-escalation tools) Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Labels limit: “Good/bad” thinking triggers confirmation bias, making us collect evidence to prove ourselves right and miss the full picture.
Describe, don’t judge: Swap moral labels (“He’s aggressive”) for neutral, specific behaviour (“He shouted when asked to stop playing”). Curiosity beats certainty.
Need behind behaviour: Most behaviours serve a function (survival, regulation, communication, control). When we meet the need, behaviour improves.
00:00 — The “good vs bad” trap: why it feels neat but harms decisions
00:19 — 💙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:40 — Why black-and-white thinking shows up in care, education & home
02:21 — Spectrum thinking: people aren’t heroes or villains
03:14 — How labels drive prejudice, stigma & shame cultures
04:01 — Ignorance vs malice: why learning is non-negotiable in care
04:24 — Psychology 101: confirmation bias
05:10 — Fundamental attribution error in everyday life (and traffic!)
06:01 — Halo/horn effect: when looks & first impressions mislead us
07:14 — Moral lens vs needs lens: “What happened to you?”
08:21 — Practical reframes: replace labels with descriptive language
09:15 — Be a detective, not a judge: 3 context questions to ask
09:35 — The “benefit behind behaviour” (survival, regulation, communication, control)
10:20 — Create a balance sheet: record positives as diligently as incidents
11:14 — Notice & reinforce what you want to see more of
13:07 — Boundaries + understanding: compassion isn’t “excusing”
14:20 — Culture shift: stop cementing identities, start spotting strengths
15:01 — Your one-week challenge: swap judgment for curiosity
🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?
Actionable: Concrete language swaps & prompts you can use today.
Evidence-informed: Social-psychology concepts made practical for parents, teachers, and carers.
Relationship-first: A humane, trauma-informed path to better behaviour and trust.
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