Love Sweet Love

Who are the people who choose to comfort those as they die? Who are those who choose to be around that sadness, the tears, the grief? Who are those who could watch the loved ones of the dying, in their grief? These questions have crossed my mind many times – I could barely utter the words “death” and “dying”, let alone imagine myself trying to comfort someone during this time. I think those who do this kind of work are so admirable. This work is so needed and thank goodness there are people who can do this work. This is the work of love. This kind of work and care is such a loving act. Loving for those who are approaching death, and I am sure, loving for those who are the ones left behind.

Hospice work is the topic of today’s episode. Don’t be scared of this topic – I urge you! I think you and I will find that this topic is more uplifting than we think.

Today I have invited two guests who work in a local hospice, to talk to me about this work, our perceptions around death and dying, and why they choose to spend their time this way, and the benefits of hospice care to our loved ones, to those left behind, and perhaps even to those doing the work.

I am so excited about this episode. We have such an expert with us today! My guest today is a leading researcher in the study of flourishing and wellbeing. I have had the pleasure of knowing her for a few years now, as I was in some sessions with her in a series in my district and I immediately felt connected to her and what she has to say. She is incredibly knowledgeable, insightful, warm, funny, and relatable, among other things.

She will unpack for us what it means to flourish in work and life. I am going to ask her about what she has found to be key in our ability to feel well and fulfilled at work, and in our lives. I am going to ask her about burnout and why it seems so prevalent, where she sees fun and play fitting into the workplace, what all of this means about leadership, and lots more.

My guest today is Dr. Sabre Cherkowski. She teaches and researches in the areas of leadership, professional learning and development, mentoring and coaching, and diversity and education, at UBC Okanagan. She is the Tier 1 Principal’s Research Chair in Leadership, Learning, and Wellbeing. She examines wellbeing from an organizational perspective, paying attention to leadership and work cultures, and her research offers an innovative approach to combatting stress, depletion and burnout at work.

Dr. Cherkowski teaches that wellbeing is linked to overall health, and influences learning, creativity, and collaboration, among other qualities necessary for ongoing improvement of leading and teaching.

Her work combines theories and processes from positive psychology, positive organisations, professional learning, and change leadership. Dr. Cherkowski received UBC Okanagan’s 2020 Researcher of the Year award for Social Sciences and Humanities in 2020. She is also the Academic Lead for the School’s Doctor of Education program.
In short, Sabre Cherkowski has been researching and writing about what it takes to flourish in work and in life, for years. You will see why I see her and her work as a way of spreading love in the world. I think you will love this conversation.

There are so many thoughts on forgiveness. I think of forgive and forget, or even that sometimes we say or feel we can forgive, but we won’t forget…. Which is right? Is there are a right approach to forgiveness?

I think recently we have heard that forgiveness is good for us, as holding that burden of a grudge or hatred or something else negative, is only hurting us, … but then what if something is so heinous, it seems unforgiveable? Much has been written about forgiveness, of course. Gandhi said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” And, Mother Teresa said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” These sentiments describe forgiveness as an act, or an attitude or way of being, of love, and that is why I am focusing on it today. This is high praise for forgiveness but how do we do it?

I think most of us agree that we SHOULD do it …. We know we are supposed to do it…. But how do we begin? Are we supposed to forgive everything? Some people say yes. Are all things forgivable?

My guest today will talk about forgiveness and the power it has in our lives. She has written a brand-new book on it, and she has written 11 other books actually, some of which reached best seller status. She is an award-winning speaker, trainer, advisor, and entrepreneur, as well. My guest supports people by helping them develop tools and strategies for them to see more possibilities and find joy and freedom in life. Welcome to my guest today, Katharine Giovanni.

RESOURCES

"The Happiness Advantage" by Shaun Achor: https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/the-happiness-advantage-how-a-positive-brain-fuels-success-in-work-and-life/9780307591555.html

CONNECT WITH KATHARINE GIOVANNI
website: https://katharinegiovanni.com/

Burnout is one of the most uttered words of the past few years.

I know in my work in schools, I often hear from colleagues that it seems harder and harder to find the stamina to do the job. Many of us have wondered, “Why does everyone seem so tired all the time?”. These feelings of exhaustion seem to be increasing, don’t they? I wonder, is if because of COVID? If so, why? Or is it something else, and are there other factors that are making us feel this perpetual tiredness and even, compassion fatigue? Is it that our resilience has diminished? Have we lost grit? Or are things just harder than they have been before? I suspect that it is a combination of these things and my guest today is someone who can help us figure out how we deal with these feelings so we can be happier and healthier. 

My guest today is working hard to address mental health and have topics like boundaries, burnout and wellness, be addressed more openly and prioritized more highly. My guest today is Michelle E. Dickinson and she calls herself a “Resilience Visionary” and “Burnout Interventionist”. She strives increase compassion and to help people develop the awareness and tools to become their best selves and have more joy in their lives.

Today I am highlighting an organization which fosters connection and care and harnesses the power of community to improve the wellness and lives of its participants.

My guest today is Dr. Elizabeth Markle. She is an Associate Professor at Community Mental Health at California Institute of Integral Studies and is also a licensed psychologist, speaker (her TEDx talk is excellent), writer, and researcher. Dr. Markle’s research is steeped in the power of community and combines her clinical expertise with social entrepreneurship, in order to create strong cultures of health and wellness. She has done this at Open Source Wellness, an organization which she co-founded. At this skill-developing, community-building, support-giving, wellness-growing, joy-seeking, love-fostering organization, they embrace a "Community as Medicine" approach. This approach actualizes the “behavioural prescriptions” we are often given, and the way they are delivered -- and received. You will love this one! 

Open Source wellness website: https://www.opensourcewellness.org/

Today, I am highlighting a really cool project, or initiative, as they call it, which is happening on BC’s Vancouver Island. I first noticed this group on Twitter, as I found they liked and reposted the same kinds of things that I did, and their focus seemed to be on focussing on the greater good of the community. Their name caught my eye, too, as it was about the “village”, a power which I truly believe in and know from much research and reading and Experience, is, or should be, an impactful, positive force in our lives that we all need.

This group is called, “The Village Initiative” Today I want to share more about what they do, and I am pleased to welcome the Director of TVI , Cindy Andrew. Cindy is a former teacher, who has worked in various roles in health and wellness and education, for over 25 years. Cindy has worked for many agencies in the in the local community, as well as in the government, including ParticipACTION, the Canadian Association for School Health, The Psychology Foundation of Canada and the Sooke School District, as well as many others.

This is a very special episode in that it celebrates two people who are, and have been, fostering love for decades. These two people happen to be married, and have been married for many years. These two people are so dedicated to giving their hearts and time to the community, it seems like they treat it like their job. When you see them in their various ways of serving, they are so comfortable, so humble – like it is just what they do and who they are. Because it is. The truth is most people do not give of themselves like this. I want to know why these two do. I believe that if we can discover the secret sauce for having folks want to give of themselves and foster love like this, maybe we can spread it. Grow it. My guests today are Jim and Lindy McQueen. They live in Burnaby, BC, and we talk about how this life of service began, some of the many ways they make a difference in their city and community and hear some heartwarming stories along the way.


LINKS
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/3-health-benefits-of-volunteering

On this episode we talk about what it means to be an “upstreamist”; teens and what is most important; social conditions and their impact; how colonialism got it all wrong and the brilliance of indigenous ways of knowing and learning; a gardener versus a carpenter approach to parenting; and so much more.

My guest today is a Clinical Professor at McMaster in the Dept of Psychiatry and Behavioural neurosciences. She was appointed the education advisor to the Premier of Ontario and the minister of Education from 2014 – 2018. She has cross-appointments in family medicine and pediatrics, the department of child psychiatry at University of Toronto and sick Childrens Hospital. She has been a consultant on youth and mental health programs, child welfare and primary care for over 35 years. She is also a mom of 5 and a grandmother, too.

At one point, in her excellent and informative book, “Love Builds Brains”, she boils it all down to this. She says (in chapter ONE mind you) that “At the core of everything I want to convey is the power that one person can have on another person. That power is conveyed through serve and return – of listening as much as we talk to out infants, toddlers, older children, and adolescents. Our capacity for serve and return is what we need to take into our own work and work we do with kids and communities.” You will love this conversation! Get ready to learn and laugh and be inspired.

RESOURCES:
“Love Builds Brains” by Dr. Jean Clinton
https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/love-builds-brains/9780981014968.html

“And Grandma said: Iroquois Teachings as passed Down Through the Oral Tradition” by Tom Porter
https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/and-grandma-said...-iroquois-teachings-as-passed-down-through-the-oral-tradition/9781436335652.html

I have known today’s guest for more than a decade, and I have seen with my own eyes, her obvious intelligence, her broad vision of a compassionate world and the role she believes we all play in creating that world. Through coaching, writing, and community work she does, and through her daily interactions (whether at work or not), she has always focussed on a healthy work climate, and her colleagues’ and friends’, wellness.

Her passion for wellness always had an underlying thread that highlighted good nutrition and the power of relationships. Now, not surprisingly, she has a business called, “The Nourished Executive”. We talk about where this passion for connection and community started; where food fits into connection; burnout and what leaders (and we) need to do to avoid it; having a strengths-based approach and lens; why she wants to get rid of the term work-life balance and what she believes we need to replace that with, and more. A great episode for leaders and managers, anyone working with groups, and actually, anyone who struggles with trying to do it all and trying to stay well in this busy life. Have a listen!

QUOTE
“The way to get people to find common ground on reproductive rights, climate change, and criminal justice is not necessarily to talk first and hear everyone’s arguments. Instead, it’s to establish relationships between those who disagree—relationships where people meet first as fellow human beings, not as political positions.” ― Vivek H. Murthy, Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness


RESOURCES

The Surprising Science of Meetings by Steven G. Rogelberg
https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/the-surprising-science-of-meetings-how-you-can-lead-your-team-to-peak-performance/9780190689216.html

Together: The Healing Power of Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/together-the-healing-power-of-human-connection-in-a-sometimes-lonely-world/9780062913296.html

Our guest today is an esteemed, best-selling author, speaker and consultant who believes love, is medicine. She believes and shares how love heals, brings hope and builds empathy. I have heard our guest today say that when talking about love, we do not necessarily have to sue the word “love” – but, she says, “when we treat somebody with respect, with kindness, when we share with them, when we uphold their dignity – those are all acts of love”. I completely agree, and these are precisely the kinds of actions I am trying to highlight through this podcast, so when I asked our guest today to be here, I was thrilled and humbled that she agreed.

We talk about how she knew what her gifts were, how she builds awareness of the truth and moves through the injustice and pain with grace and kindness, where her inspiration comes from, if she sees progress in the Truth and Reconciliation process, how she felt about adapting the important "Braiding Sweetgrass' and what she hopes her books and speaking will achieve. It's a frank, beautiful, inspiring conversation.