Lovejoy Actually

It’s finally here! Polly’s favourite episode!

A lovely church, a vicar who is not Ian McKellen and a mysterious object this week as Lovejoy has a run in with the county archaelogist (which is apparently a job) and dodgy Derek Rudge (a notorious low flier.) Plus another dog using a priceless item for its own ends (please note we are NOT blaming the dog.)

We discuss Eric’s professional development, argue about what exactly constitutes a ‘malted milk’ whilst remembering what we wanted to do at school - and what school told us to do - Em's crush on David Duchovny (don't tell Eric) and a very, very spooky song. Helen’s knowledge of lyrics remains unsurpassed, along with her ability to still write a cheque.

Antique of the Week: Grandfather clocks (unhaunted.)

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Terry Hodgkinson and directed by Baz Taylor (dream team.)

In the series that just keeps on giving it's another one of Polly's favourite episodes! (But not her favourite favourite, that's up next.)

Listen along as we enjoy the Peter Pan of Suffolk's latest escapades this week, awash with romantic mystery and a significant amount of rainfall as "the hottest guy in the world" gets super upset about a completely modern, brand new, not at all antique in any way, dog rug.

We discuss the time Pol just happened to drop in on some Berbers for tea, the joy of tourist guidebooks, which of us could have gone to Malory Towers and who was the best Miss Marple as we dissect a fantastic episode with a very British break up, Roy from Eastenders and Lovejoy's continued reticence to get the police involved in police matters, such as theft. Of a dog rug.

Polly's English degree

Antique of the Week - Jane's Anatolian Rug

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Jeremy Paul and directed by Baz Taylor.

What a load of old Sollochs this week as we completely fail to understand the point of a (not particularly mysterious) sword that Lovejoy has become obsessed with, after the improbably older Vicki found it in her new flat. Which is kind of his flat, really. Agile Lovejoy - miraculously recovered from his broken leg - clambers over rooftops as Eric sports a really fetching t shirt and Tinker demonstrates his skill in drunken harmonica playing.

We reminisce on some 90s classics (Swampy and the Bypass; the Hamiltons; slogan tops - “Do Not Talking While I Singing”) as Em reveals how she ended up Streatham, her favourite bed time reading and gets very worked up over Chekhov’s Gun: If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there. Thanks Anton! If only they’d listened…


The original Lovejoy episode was written by T. R. Bowen and directed by Baz Taylor.

Antique of the Week: Drunk football fans and a sword (but not for the violence it represents.)

A double scoop of jalopy please and a sprinkling of asides this week as an incapacitated Lovejoy has the oddest dream…

Join us as we delight in Bert Kwouk’s presence and marvel at the NHS in the 90s when it was clearly fine to have any amount of visitors at all sorts of hours and your doctor would drop everything to do keyhole surgery on a leaf, a plaster cast, a terracotta pig etc if it made you happy.

We meet a space invader (not the good kind that Polly likes), discover we don't know anything about Lawrence of Arabia and wonder if there’s anything the Chinese didn’t invent as we discuss this utterly bonkers episode which has two storylines for the price of one. Helen endorses it.

It's our (well, Em's) first ever 10 out of 10 so listen out for the special jingle and let us know - were Eric and Natasha “working on the bike” or just really good pals?

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Steve Coombes & Dave Robinson and directed by Ian McShane (of course!)

Antique of the Week: Netsuke

A lady of an aristocratic bent in need of aid and too embarrassed to ask for help? A scheming posh bloke who can't afford death duties? Champagne at 11.20 on a Thursday morning? Yes, it's a full house on Lovejoy Bingo this week with a Line Of Duty-esque storyline, much to Helen's delight, as Field Agent E Catchpole saves the day (much to Em’s!)

This week our resident toast rack expert has a fantastic idea for merch as we discuss sinister Morris dancers, the founding of trade unions in the UK, whether or not to put Polly in a meat van (we won't) and THE VERY VERY EXCITING COMMUNICATION we recently received.

Come back next time when we'll report our findings on the wider application of black pepper... (and honey!?) and in the meantime, tell us: what's your price? Ours is a copy of Grazia, an ice cream and some fizzy pop (which is prosecco.)

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Roger Marshall and directed by John Crome.

Antique of the Week: A… toast rack?

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Pour yourself a chianti/crack open a surreptitious can for our latest Italian flavoured episode as we discover just who should own “the medals of the brother of Jane’s old housekeeper Vera.”

We spend this week with a morose and yet terribly poetic Lovejoy, as he’s cajoled into a funeral on a boat (his least favourite place) leaving Eric to explore the virtues of Catalytic Acrylic Polymer Resin and Jane to branch out into her new career as language teacher.

We enjoy some serious leggings, a claustrophobic submarine and Eric in a hat (SWOON) as well as some family history from Em and Pol, Helen’s crush on Tony Flags and a trip down memory lane as we get all nostalgic about pagers. Have fun, and remember if you’re feeling a bit low: Meerkats.

For those of you bellowing at the podcast like an angry ghost, Em has remembered she meant Sam Kelly. You too can enjoy four full pages of internet debate here: https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/allo-allo-myth.26286/

Antique of the week: a tub of butterscotch yogurt.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Terry Hodgkinson and directed by Baz Taylor.

Find us online @lovejoyapod and chuck us a quid over on Patreon if you can.

Tangents galore this week as we enjoy(?) the inevitable breakdown of Lovejoy and Victoria’s burgeoning romance… SOB! Pass us a tissue, we’ve wine on our shirts.

In which we agree we ALL enjoy the music of t’Smiths and THE Lightning Seeds whilst watching this week’s special guests (The) Hothouse Flowers. We discuss being starstruck,

Listen out for our dubious Irish accents, Victoria’s leitmotif and Lovejoy lying to the fourth wall (i.e. US!) along with the return of the thigh, the loss of Polly’s g string and why it’s a good idea to keep on Em’s good side!

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Douglas Watkinson and directed by Peter Barber-Fleming.

Antique of the Week: An entire band’s worth up of Celtic stringed instruments.

Is painting dead? It’s certainly not feeling very well in this episode where we meet the UK’s leading East Anglian contemporary landscape painter, the demanding Mrs. Dalrymple and the confused Elsie Barratt - who definitely isn’t dead, despite Eric’s protestations.

Detective Polly is also on the case this week - and she smells a set up… what do you think, listener? Look out for Lurky Man, Eric the busimess man and an appearance from Felicity Montagu, as we watch a very distracted Lovejoy still somehow manage to save the day.

Lovejoy and his lascivious face is back and so are we, with the first episode of SERIES THREE (how?!)

And what an episode - it really has everything: a fantastic score, some Serious Peril, Eric in not just one but TWO hats, JOANNA FLIPPIN LUMLEY, the plight of the indigenous people of Peru, a new haircut, an excellent suit, Slough Grammar and Tinker in a monkery.

Plus a chance for Helen to exercise her language skills, for Polly to show off her capital city knowledge and Em to shoehorn in her latest crush on Arnold J. Rimmer before we descend into typical hen do buffoonery during a discussion on ceremonial monk checks. Duos habet et bene pendentes!

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Jeremy Paul and directed by Sarah Hellings.

Antique of the Week: Ralph Richardson's knees.

Another bonus episode to tide you over til Series 3 begins. We took our #1 Patron Kym Brosnan to the pub and talked all things Lovejoy in possibly the most hen do episode ever - pop in your headphones and pour yourself a prosecco for an immersive experience! The uncut version is available at www.patreon.com/lovejoyactually if you like this kind of thing (and if you don’t… join us there anyway and help us buy a proper microphone!)

Join us for a rambling chat taking in every series of Lovejoy; the podcast’s origin story; Polly’s Magnus Magnusson impression and Kym’s match made in HMV.

Kym's favourite episode: Smoke Your Nose
Kym's favourite character: Jane (or maybe Miriam)