Loving BDSM

Kayla Lords hosts episode 28 and discusses the big and small ways you can reconnect in your D/s relationship whether you’ve been apart for a while or your routine has been thrown off for any reason.

In this episode:

* Kayla is looking for kinky patrons!

* You may need to reconnect with your kinky partner for a variety of reasons: being apart, recovering from illness, working different shifts, or just falling into a routine and rut.

* There are small and big ways John Brownstone and Kayla Lords use to reconnect.

* Getting back to assigned tasks and expectations

* Get naked together – but not always in a sexual way

* Mutual orgasms

* A show of Dominance

* Deep communication

* Making time for kinky fuckery

* Finding what helps you reconnect and stay connected isn’t something you do once and forget about. It’s a daily thing and will help keep a D/s relationship centered when life gets stressful.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Getting Into a Rut…and Getting Out of It

Keeping It Kinky While We’re Apart

Using Our D/s Relationship to Get Through Stress

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 28. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s talk about small and big ways to reconnect in your D/s relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Don’t forget that I’m now on Patreon, looking for kinky patrons to help me keep the podcast and my writing going. Anyone who can and wants to show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month.

This week, Kayla Lords is separated from John Brownstone by 600+ miles, and for six days, it’s back to the way things were in the long distance days. In episode 27, Kayla discusses how they stay connected while apart – things you can do whether it’s a temporary distance or during your long distance D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* John and Kayla are separated for a week, so they’re reverting back to their long distance days to stay connected.

* Scheduled phone calls

* Constant texting – and sexting.

* Creating different routines or modifying the existing ones.

* Asking permission for treats.

* Special assigned tasks.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 27. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s talk about what you can do to feel connected when you’ve got miles between you. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Don’t forget that I’m now on Patreon, looking for kinky patrons to help me keep the podcast and my writing going. Anyone who can and wants to show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month. Go a little higher and you get perks – including monthly videos of me talking about kink, sex, writing, you name it. You can stop at any time, and no worries, if you just can’t afford to do it or it’s not your thing, I still love you for listening to me each week.

Now, on to the show.

I’m going to do my damnedest to keep this week’s show brief. I’m in the middle of traveling – without John Brownstone – and am spending the week with my mother who just had surgery. No worries, she’ll be fine, but as an only child who only has my mother left – my dad died when I was 22 – when my mother needs me, I come running. This was one of those moments.

It’s also the longest Daddy and I have been apart since we moved in together nearly two years ago. Weird.

This week, Kayla Lords is separated from John Brownstone by 600+ miles, and for six days, it’s back to the way things were in the long distance days. In episode 27, Kayla discusses how they stay connected while apart – things you can do whether it’s a temporary distance or during your long distance D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* John and Kayla are separated for a week, so they’re reverting back to their long distance days to stay connected.

* Scheduled phone calls

* Constant texting – and sexting.

* Creating different routines or modifying the existing ones.

* Asking permission for treats.

* Special assigned tasks.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 27. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s talk about what you can do to feel connected when you’ve got miles between you. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Don’t forget that I’m now on Patreon, looking for kinky patrons to help me keep the podcast and my writing going. Anyone who can and wants to show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month. Go a little higher and you get perks – including monthly videos of me talking about kink, sex, writing, you name it. You can stop at any time, and no worries, if you just can’t afford to do it or it’s not your thing, I still love you for listening to me each week.

Now, on to the show.

I’m going to do my damnedest to keep this week’s show brief. I’m in the middle of traveling – without John Brownstone – and am spending the week with my mother who just had surgery. No worries, she’ll be fine, but as an only child who only has my mother left – my dad died when I was 22 – when my mother needs me, I come running. This was one of those moments.

It’s also the longest Daddy and I have been apart since we moved in together nearly two years ago. Weird.

Kayla Lords hosts episode 26 and instead of talking about how Dominants can get things very wrong, she takes on submissives and the red flags, poor behavior, and signs of misinformation that submissives can give off when trying to find a Dominant or have their own successful D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* Kayla is looking for kinky patrons on Patreon!

* Dominants aren’t the only ones who can get things very wrong in BDSM and D/s.

* Submissives have their own share of red flags that stop a relationship from forming or ruin a potentially good one.

* Having “no limits”

* Submissives who claim they’ll “do anything”

* Submitting to a stranger

* Believing submissives have no responsibilities

* Not following commands, completing tasks, or being obedient

* Refusing to communicate or simply lying

* Sometimes these aren’t red flags of a bad or uneducated submissive, they’re indications of problems. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Original post: 3 Things Submissives Do That Turn Off Dominants

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 26. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s discuss the things submissives get wrong when they’re looking for a Dominant or entering a relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Quick reminder: I have a page on Patreon. Anyone who can and wants to support this podcast and show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month. Go a little higher and you get perks – including monthly videos of me talking about kink, sex, writing, you name it. You can stop at any time, and no worries, if you just can’t afford to do it or it’s not your thing, I still love you for listening to me each week.

Now, on to the show.

In episode 24,

Kayla Lords hosts episode 26 and instead of talking about how Dominants can get things very wrong, she takes on submissives and the red flags, poor behavior, and signs of misinformation that submissives can give off when trying to find a Dominant or have their own successful D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* Kayla is looking for kinky patrons on Patreon!

* Dominants aren’t the only ones who can get things very wrong in BDSM and D/s.

* Submissives have their own share of red flags that stop a relationship from forming or ruin a potentially good one.

* Having “no limits”

* Submissives who claim they’ll “do anything”

* Submitting to a stranger

* Believing submissives have no responsibilities

* Not following commands, completing tasks, or being obedient

* Refusing to communicate or simply lying

* Sometimes these aren’t red flags of a bad or uneducated submissive, they’re indications of problems. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Original post: 3 Things Submissives Do That Turn Off Dominants

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 26. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s discuss the things submissives get wrong when they’re looking for a Dominant or entering a relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Quick reminder: I have a page on Patreon. Anyone who can and wants to support this podcast and show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month. Go a little higher and you get perks – including monthly videos of me talking about kink, sex, writing, you name it. You can stop at any time, and no worries, if you just can’t afford to do it or it’s not your thing, I still love you for listening to me each week.

Now, on to the show.

In episode 24,

Welcome to episode 25 of the Loving BDSM podcast. This week’s show is hosted by Kayla Lords, and she’s discussing disagreements and arguments in D/s relationships.

In this episode:

* Arguments and disagreements are completely normal.

* It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.

* It doesn’t mean you’re not a good submissive or a good Dominant.

* Kayla believes there are three “truths” to most arguments in a D/s relationship.

* 24/7 D/s relationships will likely handle their arguments and disagreements much differently than bedroom only D/s and even Master/slave relationships.

* Both submissives and Dominants will react differently to arguments and disagreements. The key is communication.

* If something doesn’t work for you in your D/s relationship, you need to talk about it with each other.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 25. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s discuss arguments in a D/s relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Quick announcement: I’ve set up a page on Patreon to allow anyone who can and wants to to help support this podcast and my kinky writings. You can pay as little as one dollar a month to help keep this thing John Brownstone and I are doing here going. Ultimately I want to keep all of my content available for free and even become ad-free. Your support will help me do that. The link is in this show notes or go to www dot patreon dot com slash Kayla Lords. I even added a video of me begging for your help. If nothing else, go check me out on video and get proof that I’m a real live person.

Now, on to the show.

The other day John Brownstone and I got into a heated discussion that bordered on an argument. He shut me down with a word or two, and while my babygirl feelings were a little hurt – don’t worry, we talked it out later – I also realized it’s nothing that ...

Welcome to episode 25 of the Loving BDSM podcast. This week’s show is hosted by Kayla Lords, and she’s discussing disagreements and arguments in D/s relationships.

In this episode:

* Arguments and disagreements are completely normal.

* It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.

* It doesn’t mean you’re not a good submissive or a good Dominant.

* Kayla believes there are three “truths” to most arguments in a D/s relationship.

* 24/7 D/s relationships will likely handle their arguments and disagreements much differently than bedroom only D/s and even Master/slave relationships.

* Both submissives and Dominants will react differently to arguments and disagreements. The key is communication.

* If something doesn’t work for you in your D/s relationship, you need to talk about it with each other.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 25. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s discuss arguments in a D/s relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

Quick announcement: I’ve set up a page on Patreon to allow anyone who can and wants to to help support this podcast and my kinky writings. You can pay as little as one dollar a month to help keep this thing John Brownstone and I are doing here going. Ultimately I want to keep all of my content available for free and even become ad-free. Your support will help me do that. The link is in this show notes or go to www dot patreon dot com slash Kayla Lords. I even added a video of me begging for your help. If nothing else, go check me out on video and get proof that I’m a real live person.

Now, on to the show.

The other day John Brownstone and I got into a heated discussion that bordered on an argument. He shut me down with a word or two, and while my babygirl feelings were a little hurt – don’t worry, we talked it out later – I also realized it’s nothing that ...

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the common signs and red flags of a bad Dominant, when it’s abuse and not D/s, and what you can do if you find yourself in a bad D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* Kayla’s back in good health and ready to rant. This week is based on a question she answered for Submissive Guide where every line was a red flag of a bad Dominant.

* This week’s episode is based off a popular post written in 2015 along the same lines.

* Not trying to bash all Dominants and a similar episode about red flags and submissives is coming soon.

* This list geared towards male Dominants but if bad female Dominants have their own red flags or do any of these things, Kayla wants to know.

* What are those red flags?

* Demanding a title not earned.

* Introducing himself with a dick pic or orders to be obeyed.

* Sending unsolicited instructions.

* Ignoring hard limits.

* Ignoring safewords.

* Lying.

* Thinking only of his own pleasure, never yours.

* Making you feel bad about yourself.

* Isolating you from friends and family.

* Telling you you’re not a real submissive because you have your own opinions, don’t agree, etc.

* Requiring that you research and learn how to be a “true” submissive on your own.

* Some red flags are clear signs of abuse and even rape.

* Ignore the idiots online, report online harassment, and unfriend and block anyone you don’t want to deal with.

* In person, get out of a bad relationship. Get help if you need it (links to domestic violence information in the reference link section).

* It’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship – regardless of flavor.

Links from the show:

Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way – Submissive Guide

Top 10 Signs He’s an Asshole, Not a Dominant

Porn Star Stoya Accuses Her Ex-Boyfriend James Dean of Rape – Jezebel

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (UK)

Sub Frenzy – Submissive Guide

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the common signs and red flags of a bad Dominant, when it’s abuse and not D/s, and what you can do if you find yourself in a bad D/s relationship.

In this episode:

* Kayla’s back in good health and ready to rant. This week is based on a question she answered for Submissive Guide where every line was a red flag of a bad Dominant.

* This week’s episode is based off a popular post written in 2015 along the same lines.

* Not trying to bash all Dominants and a similar episode about red flags and submissives is coming soon.

* This list geared towards male Dominants but if bad female Dominants have their own red flags or do any of these things, Kayla wants to know.

* What are those red flags?

* Demanding a title not earned.

* Introducing himself with a dick pic or orders to be obeyed.

* Sending unsolicited instructions.

* Ignoring hard limits.

* Ignoring safewords.

* Lying.

* Thinking only of his own pleasure, never yours.

* Making you feel bad about yourself.

* Isolating you from friends and family.

* Telling you you’re not a real submissive because you have your own opinions, don’t agree, etc.

* Requiring that you research and learn how to be a “true” submissive on your own.

* Some red flags are clear signs of abuse and even rape.

* Ignore the idiots online, report online harassment, and unfriend and block anyone you don’t want to deal with.

* In person, get out of a bad relationship. Get help if you need it (links to domestic violence information in the reference link section).

* It’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship – regardless of flavor.

Links from the show:

Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way – Submissive Guide

Top 10 Signs He’s an Asshole, Not a Dominant

Porn Star Stoya Accuses Her Ex-Boyfriend James Dean of Rape – Jezebel

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (UK)

Sub Frenzy – Submissive Guide

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

Kayla Lords hosts episode 23 and discusses a topic on the mind of most single kinky people: how do I find the right Dominant or submissive for me?

In this episode:

* Sponsorships are available for the show. Contact Kayla directly for details.

* As with most episodes, this came from real conversations she’s had with fellow kinksters.

* There is no step-by-step list on how to pick the perfect partner in a kinky relationship.

* Some people start on specific websites: Fetlife, CollarMe, Adult Friend Finder – and they keep finding only duds.

* Instead of looking someone who uses the label you prefer (Daddy, babygirl, kitten, etc.), look for a person you have a genuine connection with.

* Two schools of thought: find the person without knowing their kinky preferences or look for people who identify as kinky. Kayla prefers to look among people who already know they’re kinky.

* Only choosing based on the title or label someone uses for themselves eliminates potentially great partners.

* You might miss out on people who have something new to teach you.

* Instead of finding the person to fit your ideal relationship dynamic, find the relationship dynamic that fits you and the person you have a connection with.

* The right person could bring out parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed.

* Kayla shares the differences between her first D/s relationship and the one she has with John Brownstone.

* The Daddy/babygirl dynamic wasn’t even a consideration when John and Kayla first met. They grew into it together.

* Try not to be too rigid in what you think you want or the kind of kinkster you think you’ll always be. People and situations change.

* When you begin discussing your kinks – once you figure out if there’s a real connection – you might be surprised at what you learn, about them and yourself.

* A healthy D/s relationship and the ability to find the dynamic that works best for you requires trust.

* When you connect with someone on a deep level, you can be vulnerable with them. You never know what will come of that.

* Kayla describes how she found her babygirl side and how their dynamic shifted.

* Forget the labels we give ourselves and focus on the person. Be with a person who makes you feel all kinds of good things.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 23. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here.