Is there a point to meditation? Are there many points? Am I doing it right? Why would I want to sit and daydream for 15 minutes? I'm bored. I wonder what I'll eat for lunch. I wonder if I'll see that guy again. I miss my mom. My back hurts. What time is it? I'm thirsty. What is thirst? My mouth lets me know that it's dry and wants water. I'm in a body. This body will die some day. Everyone I love will die some day. What if I were to die right now? Maybe I am dead right now. Who am I? Why am I here?

If there's one thing I've learned after over a decade of meditating, it's that my mind can wander -  sometimes to very interesting + profound places, other times to seemingly trivial and mundane places.

Until recently, I would have said that the point of meditation is to choose one thing to focus on, and every time the mind wanders, bring it back. If I'm meditating on my breath, then I notice when I'm not thinking about the breath, and I return my focus to my breath. But, after talking with Jordan Grinstein, Mindfulness Director at Shrewsbury Public Schools in Massachusetts, I started to question that notion. Jordan advocates for a much different orientation - one that trusts the mind's intelligence and allows thinking to be a part of the meditation.

A few weeks before we recorded this conversation, I attended a 10 day silent meditation course with my good friend, Erica Tait, licensed psychotherapist and co-owner of Quantum Psychotherapy Group in New Jersey (and she's completed 9 silent meditation courses, which, for any one who's attended one of these courses, it's no joke). For 10 days, we sat in silence, and practiced two forms of meditation that are very explicit about the central importance of bringing the mind back when it wanders.

So, when I met Jordan, I thought - oh there's a good conversation to be had. In this episode, I've brought Jordan and Erica together, to unpack their differing perspectives on meditation. I believe that disagreement has the great potential to lead to expansion, and I definitely left this conversation with new insights about my own meditation practice. So, whether you are brand new to meditation or a seasoned meditator, I trust that this episode will serve you well. 

The World Needs More Facilitators

I have felt the incredible power of the group field - when people gather together around a shared purpose. 

Grief gatherings

Song circles 

Ecstatic dance

Breathwork journeys

Sound healings

Conscious sexuality events

Community circles

Dream workshops

The list goes on. 

These kinds of group experiences have deeply nourished and supported me. 

I learn more about myself. 

I connect with like-minded people. 

I feel more of my feelings.

I remember that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling. 

I move and express my body with passion and wildness. 

I feel greater depths of intimacy. 

These spaces uplift us. 

Facilitators are the ultimate community builders. 

We gather together people with shared intentions + values. 

The world needs more facilitators who can hold these incredibly precious spaces.

But the journey of stepping into facilitation needs to happen with great care and sensitivity. 

These spaces have the potential to be deeply healing, but also the potential to be painful and re-traumatizing. 

That dichotomy is part of it. 

If you step up to facilitate, you take the risk of triggering others. 

The best we can do is stay curious, humble, open, and receptive. 

AND, connect with other facilitators who can tell you what you don't see.

We grow through being amongst a community of practice - dedicated to ensuring that people leave our offerings more regulated, grounded, centered, and connected than when they arrived.  

Whether you are brand new to this or already a seasoned facilitator, the value of a learning community is essential. 

Whether you are learning to claim your power or you are learning to not get too attached to power - the learning community helps us see our shadows + blind spots. 

The Who is anyone who feels inspired to facilitate group spaces with confidence, humility, sensitivity, and clarity. 

The What is creating group spaces that serve to connect, heal, and transform. 

The Why is because the world needs these spaces - where we can truly come alive and fully feel ourselves in connection with others. 

The How is with a community of other aspiring facilitators, looking out for you and supporting you to become your best. 

Applications are open for Unique Essence Facilitator Training. 

We begin April 1.

Email [email protected] to learn more.

(photo credit - Maria “La Xtal’y)

Rachel Rickards holds a special place in my heart.

Over the months of 2023, I got to meet up with Rachel 5 different times, over 5 different weeks, as part of the first generation of The Field Facilitator Training. Rachel birthed this training as a way to create greater standards around facilitation. As we discuss in this conversation, the world of facilitation is evolving + expanding. Some of Rachel's inspiration for creating the Field was to ensure that facilitators are being trained to adequately hold space for trauma - and so we dive into our emerging understandings of this word that has gained so much attention over the past few years, and how it finds its way into facilitated spaces.

Facilitation is a broad term, and so, I asked Rachel exactly what kinds of facilitators she had intended to call in for this training. For her, it's actually less about the kinds of facilitation, and more about the awareness of energies in a group space. Broadly, she is interested in spaces of group transformation, and she wants facilitators of these spaces to develop an awareness of Field dynamics. Hence the name - this training was all about using one's own body and energetic awareness to tune into the group body and group energies. The field is the group body, and this is what we were being trained to sense. From this foundational awareness, as the training taught us, we are better equipped to facilitate in a myriad of spaces.

This conversation provides a window into the mind of a true pioneer. Rachel has created something revolutionary with this training. Yes, this first year had many areas for improvement, and still, it was an incredibly powerful learning journey. She is now on to the second year of the Field, with new lessons & insights to guide her along the way.

Lastly, I owe a special thanks to Rachel because I felt + feel deeply inspired by what she has created. Several months after graduating from the Field, I birthed my own facilitator training, inspired by the Field, and with some of my own unique essence.

Big thanks to Rachel and the whole Field family.

Shoutout to all facilitators out there, aspiring to develop your skills + awareness and create beautiful spaces of healing, transformation, and connection.

3 days before we recorded this conversation, I sat in ceremony with Julian. What an incredibly powerful ceremony it was. The medicine was strong, as was Julian's holding of the space. I went to some pretty painful edges, and Julian helped to guide me through with a beautiful balance of tenderness + strength. I left the ceremony thinking - wow, how does a 29 year old guy from Quebec, Canada, travel to Peru and Brazil, and learn to serve the medicine with such wisdom + integrity?

Well, let's go back in time to 2021, when I first met Julian. My wife and I met up with him in San Cristobal, Mexico, and bought his 1984 VW van (which we proceeded to drive all the way up to NJ). But that's a story for another time.

The focus of this podcast episode is on the medicine of Ayahuasca and how Julian grew and evolved over the years since our adventure in Mexico. After that meeting in 2021, Julian continued to deepen his connection with sacred plant medicine. And now, with the approval of his teachers, he is holding ceremonies and serving the medicine. 

This episode gives you a window into the mind of a world traveler, surfer, multi-linguist, ceremonialist, musician who has devoted himself to learning the ways of serving Ayahuasca Medicina for personal + collective healing.

Julian's teachers include the Shipibo of Peru, and from Brazil, the Yawanawa, Nukini, Puyanawa, and Shawandawa.

Bless the ancestors who have passed down this wisdom through the generations.

Bless the sacred plants who teach and guide us.

Bless this beautiful planet and all her creatures.

Children are drawn to Kanika. She is a saintly teacher who truly embodies a Safe Presence.

What an honor to speak with her about her journey of learning how to arrive in new lands and be of service. This is not a typical conversation about how to be a respectful gringo. Kanika speaks poetically + lovingly, with stories from her own experience, on discovering the unique medicine that you have to share.

Kanika is the founder of Camino Canicas - a grassroots initiative focused on providing trauma-informed expressive arts education to build resilience in the Indigenous communities of Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. 

This conversation provides a window into the consciousness of a person who is truly making a difference in such beautiful ways. 

Follow Camino Canicas on facebook + instagram.

And if you would like to make a donation, here is their gofundme:

https://gofund.me/d3681372

Although they may resist the title, I claim Stephen Jenkinson and Kimberly Ann Johnson as great teachers of mine. 

One pearl of wisdom that their words invoke in me is to live and die remembering that it will end. I looked forward to this conversation for years - knowing that I would eventually get to sit across the table from Stephen. And now, it has passed. It came and went. I sit, wondering - what if I'd said this or that. I can hear Stephen's voice in my ear, reminding me: let it be. This moment has ended. Maybe there will come another time that we sit across the table from one another. But for now, let's say Amen.

We danced with our bodies, and then we danced with words. A morning tea-time conversation with Wren LaFeet (dear friend & mentor) and LaVina D'Anjolell (my beloved fiance, spiritual advisor, and business partner).

What a range of topics in this episode! Conscious uncoupling, attachment theory, polyamory, dance culture, safe spaces...

Take your time with this one.

Drop me a line if you feel called: [email protected]

Jasper comes with an intimate knowledge / understanding of the fungi family. He has dedicated his life to learning from fungi and sharing those lessons with others who want to cultivate a deeper connection with ancient mycology wisdom. He is Hiphae Headmaster at Fungi Academy in Tzununa, Guatemala, where he hosts courses and retreats around mushroom cultivation, ethnomycology, foraging, and sacred mycology. We touch on these topics and more.

We're back! After a long hiatus, Haribo is back on the podcast game.

Here is a little intro episode to clue y'all in as to where I'm at in my life - what's bringing me back to the podcast game, and where I see this 3rd incarnation of the podcast going. 

If you're just tuning in, I recommend you scroll back and check out the previous episodes. There are some great interviews and monologues. And it will be cool for you to see how this podcast has evolved over the years.