Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about—in society or relationships.

In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship.

We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sexual desire in men, including why “just regulating your emotions” is a lot harder than it sounds on social media, how societal norms make it even trickier for men to talk about low desire, and why hiding how you feel almost always backfires.

You’ll learn:

• Why suppressing emotions (“putting a mask on”) undermines sexual communication and connection
• How reappraising your emotions (instead of just “thinking positively”) actually helps—when you can do it
• Why emotion regulation is a skill that takes real practice (and most of us were never taught how)
• How our families and cultures shape the way we deal with sexual and emotional challenges as a couple
• Why suppressing “to protect your partner” is usually a recipe for disconnection, not safety

The study discussed in this episode is Regulate and Communicate: Associations between Emotion Regulation and Sexual Communication among Men with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and their Partners by Wang et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research.

If you’d like to learn more about Grace Wang’s work, visit the Cash Lab at natalieorosen.com

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Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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