A quick fix for low libido in women - sounds like a dream, right? Even for me as a sex therapist!

In this episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Glen Spielmans about bremelanotide — a medication approved in the US for low sexual desire in women. On paper, it’s designed to target brain receptors linked to desire. But when you look closely at the trials, the story gets a lot more complicated.

We get into:

• How the “statistically significant” results in the trials were actually very small, and why that matters for real-life change

• What happened when outcome measures were switched after the study was finished — and how that made the drug look more effective than it really was

• Why so many participants dropped out, and what those high dropout rates tell us about tolerability and side effects like nausea

• How measuring something as complex as desire with just two survey questions misses the bigger picture entirely

• And why solutions for low desire rarely come from quick fixes alone, especially when the underlying issues run deeper

The study discussed in this episode is Small Effects, Questionable Outcomes: Bremelanotide for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder by Spielmans & Ellefson, published in The Journal of Sex Research.

Timestamps:

00:29 Meet Dr. Glenn Spielmans – The Truth-Seeker

01:47 The “Desire Drug”: What Is It Really Supposed to Do?

05:26 How Does This Drug Actually Work? (And Does It?)

08:12 Can You Trust the Science? A Peek Behind the Curtain

12:00 Does It Really Help? The Real-World Results

15:53 Why Did the FDA Approve This?

20:00 Measuring Desire: Why It’s So Much Harder Than You Think

24:21 Is Anyone Actually Using This Drug?

28:01 Controversy, Criticism, and Calling Out the Industry

41:33 A Sex Therapist Take: My Thoughts On What This All Means for You, Free Resources & Where to Get Help

Download the free Desire Test here.

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If the idea of planning sex makes you panic, this episode is for you.

And if you’re curious whether planning could help your sex life and relationship thrive - it’s for you too.

We often hear that spontaneous sex is the “real” kind of sex — and that if you have to plan it, something must be wrong in your relationship. But is that actually true?

In this episode, I unpack a new study on spontaneous vs planned sex and talk about how it plays out in real relationships.

I’ll share why planning can be a game changer for some couples, and why for others — especially if sex already feels pressured or stressful — it’s the last thing I’d recommend.

You’ll also hear what I do suggest instead if just the thought of sex makes your body tense up.

We dig into:

• Why holding on to the spontaneity ideal can backfire in long-term relationships
• How planning can increase satisfaction when sex is good but just not happening very often
• Why planning backfires when sex already feels like a chore, and what to focus on first instead
• How to rethink “planning” so it’s less about scheduling and more about creating space, anticipation, and safety

The study discussed in this episode is Is Spontaneous Sex Ideal? Beliefs and Perceptions of Spontaneous and Planned Sex and Sexual Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships by Kovačević et al., published in The Journal of Sex Research.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about—in society or relationships.

In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship.

We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sexual desire in men, including why “just regulating your emotions” is a lot harder than it sounds on social media, how societal norms make it even trickier for men to talk about low desire, and why hiding how you feel almost always backfires.

You’ll learn:

• Why suppressing emotions (“putting a mask on”) undermines sexual communication and connection
• How reappraising your emotions (instead of just “thinking positively”) actually helps—when you can do it
• Why emotion regulation is a skill that takes real practice (and most of us were never taught how)
• How our families and cultures shape the way we deal with sexual and emotional challenges as a couple
• Why suppressing “to protect your partner” is usually a recipe for disconnection, not safety

The study discussed in this episode is Regulate and Communicate: Associations between Emotion Regulation and Sexual Communication among Men with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and their Partners by Wang et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research.

If you’d like to learn more about Grace Wang’s work, visit the Cash Lab at natalieorosen.com

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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This episode is a bit of a departure from the regular stuff! A personal update and a few important reminders about sex, desire, and overall well-being.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward?

In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build trust — especially when things are new or casual.

You’ll learn:

• Why even light power play requires clear communication
• How texting about sex can build connection, not kill it
• How to talk about your turn-ons — including different submission styles — without overexplaining

The study covered in this episode is: Sometimes It’s Easier to Type Things Than to Say Them: Technology in BDSM Sexual Partner Communication by Hamm et al., published in Sexuality & Culture.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Sharing what turns you on with a partner can be scary. But it can also be hot, and emotionally rewarding.

This episode dives into one of the most common but rarely spoken fears in long-term relationships: what will happen if I share what I fantasize about? We unpack a fascinating new study on why people do (and don’t) share their sexual fantasies with partners — and the surprising gap between what people fear will happen, and what actually does.

We'll cover:

• Why fear of judgment often outweighs the actual risk
• The five most common reasons people keep fantasies private
• How to explore whether sharing is right for you, using my free, step-by-step exercise

The study covered in this episode is: A Content Analysis of Reasons for Disclosing Sexual Fantasies and Partner Responses by Kimberley et al., published in The Journal of Sex Research.

📝 Grab your free fantasy reflection exercise here

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Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?

In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.

We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible load
• The difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)
• How male and female desire differ — and why it's not just biology

The study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research.

📝 Grab your free relationship equity checklist here, created by Malmö Stad, Sweden.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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Is it normal for desire to fade in long-term relationships? Or can passion actually last?

This episode breaks down a powerful study of over 38,000 people in long-term relationships to uncover what really keeps sex satisfying over time. Spoiler: it’s not just about frequency or trying something new — it’s about how couples connect.

We explore the 7 key habits that set passionate couples apart — and the biggest mistake many people make.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional intimacy is just as important as physical pleasure
• How sexual satisfaction changes over time — and why it doesn’t have to decline
• What couples who still feel passion years in are doing differently

The study covered in this episode is What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study, by Frederick et al., published in The Journal of Sex Research:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2015.1137854

🎧 Listen in — and if it sparks something, share it with someone you care about.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

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Do you ever hesitate to initiate sex because you're afraid of being rejected — or feel guilty for turning your partner down?

In this episode, I answer a listener question about how to navigate mismatched libidos and the pain of repeated rejection in a relationship. We unpack the science of sexual rejection, and how it can shape desire, emotional safety, and long-term connection — often in ways couples don’t talk about.

You’ll learn:

→ The most common emotional reactions to sexual rejection — and why some responses shut down intimacy while others build it

→ What the data shows about how rejection impacts desire over time

→ A free list of conversation starters to help you open up this conversation with more clarity and less pressure

The study covered in the episode is: Comparing Responses to Sexual Rejection and Sexual and Relationship Well-Being in Couples Coping with Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder and Community Couples, written by Schwenck et al. and can be found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2023.2282617#abstract

📝 Grab your free exercise connected to this episode here: https://leighnoren.com/podcast-resources

🎧 Listen in — and if you find yourself nodding along, pass it on to someone who needs to hear this too.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

A lot of us feel the pressure to perform well in bed — whether that means lasting long or wanting sex "enough".

In this episode, I talk to researcher Noémie Viens about how perfectionism can mess with your sex life. We explore why being hard on yourself (or feeling pressure from others) can lead to performance anxiety, shame, and disconnection — and how letting go of “perfect sex” can actually make it better.

You’ll learn:

→ The three types of perfectionism — and which one is most linked to sexual distress

→ Why some perfectionists report higher desire, and what’s really going on there

→ How performance pressure shows up differently for men and women

→ What to do if you or your partner tend to be self-critical or chase validation in bed

→ How to shift from pressure and performance to connection and pleasure

The study covered in the episode is: Multidimensional Perfectionism and Sexual Difficulties Among Adult Couples: A Dyadic Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Study written by Viens et al.

📝 Grab your free exercise to start dropping perfectionism in the bedroom, here: https://leighnoren.com/podcast-resources

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link