What’s the lowest risk way you can initiate sex with your partner?

Daniela and Shaun talk about having middle-of-the-night sex when there’s a little bit of sensory deprivation, fumbling, and an element of wildness. They explore how initiating sex with your partner when they’re sleeping is the easiest way of receiving rejection. Listen as they talk about their preferred position, why they place almond oil all throughout their house, and what “blue vagina” is like.

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Hear Shaun say, “It’s a very large step for me to put my hand between your legs. I won't do that unless it's pretty much in a contract somewhere. I need some pretty big affirmation for that to happen.” Listen as Daniela says, “Like oiling up your partner's body…you’re touching their body in a sensual way and then perhaps in a sexual way…building pleasure for the sake of pleasure, for the sake of connection, for relaxation. It doesn't always have to lead to sex. In fact it's beautiful when there are choices around touch that don't have to lead to sex.” Tune in as they look at the heteronormative expectation for sex to end with male climax and how they want to change it in their relationship.

Through Daniela and Shaun’s conversation reflect on how you initiate sex with your partner and the things you know that turn them on. Explore how you can open yourself up to opportunities for connection and intimacy while touching with consent.

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