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M15 Ep045: Retreat! What to expect on a meditation retreat
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Last week, I tried to convince you to try a mindfulness retreat. I described what happens on retreat and provided resources for locating them. I know, however, that retreats may sound intimidating for some of you. Today, I’m going to describe how you should behave on retreat and I’ll tell you about my first retreat experience. Hopefully, this will boost your confidence. Next week, I’ll give you some ideas for hosting a self-directed retreat, if you’re unable to get away from home.
Most retreat hosts will provide instructions and a short list of rules they’d like you to follow. Mindfulness begins with reading, understanding, and following these rules out of respect for the event’s organizers and other retreatants. If you disagree with the rules, just look for a retreat that’s more suitable to you (or create a self-hosted retreat).
Some common rules
Leave your phone and other distractions at home
The purpose of a retreat is to completely disconnect from daily routines so you can immerse yourself in mindfulness practice. Phones (and other digital devices) are highly distracting and, if possible, should be left at home.
Some of you may balk at this suggestion. You might, for example, need to phone home to talk to your children every day. In that case, you might bring your phone but keep it turned off (not on vibrate, but fully off), turning it on once per day for a call home. Really question whether it’s necessary to have your phone and do your best to avoid unnecessary activities like checking emails, visiting social media sites, and surfing the web. Don’t take your phone to the meditation hall!
Dress modestly
Many organizations request that you dress comfortably, but modestly to avoid distracting others. Buddhist retreats, in particular, make this request because they tend to be led by celibate monks and nuns. What do they mean by modestly? Usually, it means wearing long pants and long-sleeved shirts. Women should cover cleavage. You can dress casually, though. Sweatpants or yoga pants are nice when you’re sitting on the floor. Leggings, however, are not particularly modest. Conspicuous jewelry and writing on clothing can also be distracting.
Bring only vegan food
Some retreats have food restrictions. Again, Buddhist retreats in particular are likely to be vegan. You may be asked to bring only vegan food (or vegan food may be provided). If you’re unfamiliar with the vegan diet, do a little online research. Personally, I am not vegan, but I don’t find any hardship in eating that way for a week.
Observe silent periods
If you’re asked to be silent, please be silent. In a room full of silent people, even a subtle whisper can disturb others. And, if you aren’t silent, you’ll be cheating yourself of a rewarding practice opportunity. I was once in a group of 800 people practicing silent walking meditation. There were two women in the very middle of the group chatting up a storm, completely oblivious to the fact that they were the only two people talking. It was incredibly annoying, but no one said anything to them, because we were all busy keeping silent!
By the way, if someone on your retreat breaks the rules, it’s best to take it as an opportunity to practice non-judgemental awareness. In the example I just gave, I tried to be aware of my annoyance and let it go, bringing my attention back to walking. Was I successful? Not entirely, but the practice was beneficial.
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Listen:
Watch:
Read:
Last week, I tried to convince you to try a mindfulness retreat. I described what happens on retreat and provided resources for locating them. I know, however, that retreats may sound intimidating for some of you. Today, I’m going to describe how you should behave on retreat and I’ll tell you about my first retreat experience. Hopefully, this will boost your confidence. Next week, I’ll give you some ideas for hosting a self-directed retreat, if you’re unable to get away from home.
Most retreat hosts will provide instructions and a short list of rules they’d like you to follow. Mindfulness begins with reading, understanding, and following these rules out of respect for the event’s organizers and other retreatants. If you disagree with the rules, just look for a retreat that’s more suitable to you (or create a self-hosted retreat).
Some common rules
Leave your phone and other distractions at home
The purpose of a retreat is to completely disconnect from daily routines so you can immerse yourself in mindfulness practice. Phones (and other digital devices) are highly distracting and, if possible, should be left at home.
Some of you may balk at this suggestion. You might, for example, need to phone home to talk to your children every day. In that case, you might bring your phone but keep it turned off (not on vibrate, but fully off), turning it on once per day for a call home. Really question whether it’s necessary to have your phone and do your best to avoid unnecessary activities like checking emails, visiting social media sites, and surfing the web. Don’t take your phone to the meditation hall!
Dress modestly
Many organizations request that you dress comfortably, but modestly to avoid distracting others. Buddhist retreats, in particular, make this request because they tend to be led by celibate monks and nuns. What do they mean by modestly? Usually, it means wearing long pants and long-sleeved shirts. Women should cover cleavage. You can dress casually, though. Sweatpants or yoga pants are nice when you’re sitting on the floor. Leggings, however, are not particularly modest. Conspicuous jewelry and writing on clothing can also be distracting.
Bring only vegan food
Some retreats have food restrictions. Again, Buddhist retreats in particular are likely to be vegan. You may be asked to bring only vegan food (or vegan food may be provided). If you’re unfamiliar with the vegan diet, do a little online research. Personally, I am not vegan, but I don’t find any hardship in eating that way for a week.
Observe silent periods
If you’re asked to be silent, please be silent. In a room full of silent people, even a subtle whisper can disturb others. And, if you aren’t silent, you’ll be cheating yourself of a rewarding practice opportunity. I was once in a group of 800 people practicing silent walking meditation. There were two women in the very middle of the group chatting up a storm, completely oblivious to the fact that they were the only two people talking. It was incredibly annoying, but no one said anything to them, because we were all busy keeping silent!
By the way, if someone on your retreat breaks the rules, it’s best to take it as an opportunity to practice non-judgemental awareness. In the example I just gave, I tried to be aware of my annoyance and let it go, bringing my attention back to walking. Was I successful? Not entirely, but the practice was beneficial.