Mindful15: Mindfulness | Meditation | Habit Building

M15 Ep051: Daily mindfulness: Doing things you hate to do


Listen Later














Listen:

Watch:

Read:
I’m not really sure how I ended up watching Martha Stewart. I wasn’t a regular viewer. Maybe I was just flipping channels, but what Martha said really struck me, so much so that I clearly remember it a couple of decades later. What did Martha say? She said, “You don’t have to clean your house. You get to clean your house.” Let me tell you why I thought that was profound.

Martha was talking about how your attitude affects your experience. If you view house cleaning, or any other task, as something negative, you’re likely to rush through it, feel bad while you’re doing it, and completely disengage from the experience of doing it. So what? After all, you want the task over with as quickly as possible so you can get on with something that you like, something that’s worthwhile.

But if you do that, you’re throwing away a little piece of your life. You’re not fully experiencing the present moment. Frankly, I think life’s too short to go throwing it away.

You’re also fostering negative feelings, which might range from annoyance to anger. Why subject yourself to that? The more you practice negative feelings, the stronger and more frequent they become.

One of my teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, always advises us to do the dishes to do the dishes. What he means is, while you wash the dishes, you should be fully present with the activity and immerse yourself in the experience of doing the dishes. Don’t let your mind wander to what you’ll do when the dishes are done. Just be there and do nothing but wash dishes.

It turns out, I’ve always resented having to wash dishes. I come home from work tired, cook dinner, and then I’d like to relax for a while. The dishes feel like an imposition. But, when I mindfully wash dishes, things are different. I find dishwashing can give me the relaxation I’m craving. And, yes, it can even be pleasant.

Have you tried it? Just put all your senses into the activity and do it slowly. Notice what you see – the shiny tap, the bubbly water, the dirty dishes and how they contrast with the clean dishes. Notice what you hear – the bubbles popping, the dishes clinking, and how the clinking sounds different when the dishes are submerged. Notice what you smell – the scent of soap, the smell of the leftover food on the plates, lingering cooking smells.

And, notice what you feel – there’s a lot to notice here, because dishwashing is a physical activity. There’s the warmth of water, the contrast between the temperature of your hand in the water and your arm out of the water, the texture of the dishrag in your hand, the muscles moving as you scrub, the feeling of the soap bottle in your hand, etc. Let it all flow through your awareness. Moment, by moment, focus on the things you sense.

If you notice thoughts or feelings about doing dishes, or if you find your mind wandering somewhere else, just notice that. Acknowledge what comes up, and gently let go of it, bringing your attention back to the physical sensations of dishwashing. Do this as many times as you need to.

If you usually see dishwashing as unpleasant, resistance might come up. You might find yourself rushing, or thinking things like, “This is stupid,” “It doesn’t work,” or “I’ll never enjoy doing dishes.” When resistance arises, just notice it. Recognize it as resistance, but don’t analyze it or let it take you away into thought.

Instead, just accept it. Say to yourself, “Looks like my mind is resisting.” Treat resistance as you would treat any other thought or distraction: acknowledge it, refrain from judging yourself for havi...
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Mindful15: Mindfulness | Meditation | Habit BuildingBy Monica Tomm: Meditation Teacher and Stress Management Coach