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I have a friend who loved to slip into daydreams while meditating. She told her meditation teacher that she noticed she was being distracted by daydreams, but chose to keep daydreaming because it was so pleasant. The teacher said that was well and good if my friend intended to strengthen her daydreaming skills, but didn’t help much if she intended to build meditation skills.

To improve a skill, you practice. To strengthen a habit, you practice. Whatever you practice gets stronger. This goes for our reactions, too.

The positive skills, habits, and reactions we strive to grow improve with practice, but so do the negative skills, habits, and reactions we’d rather be rid of.

So, let me ask you: What are you practicing?

Are you practicing negative reactions? Anxiety, worry, anger, defensiveness, helplessness, fear - all of these grow bigger and more robust each time you enact them.

I’ve done it. I practiced outrage so much at work that I developed a hair trigger. The mere mention of a new management initiative - no matter what it was - was enough to make me feel angry and tense. Even the mention of a particular manager’s name did it for me.

 

This Week's Peaceful Moment: Mom's fountain in Cedar by the Sea, Vancouver Island, British ColumbiaThis photo is protected by copyright and used with permission

 

I now do my best to practice mindfulness at work. The outrage does still come up, but I strive to notice it and let it go. I practice acceptance and compassion, instead. It takes time and diligence to make a switch like this, and I still slip, but my skills get stronger every time I practice.

How about you? What skills and reactions would you rather build? Peacefulness, gentleness, kindness, compassion, self-compassion, helpfulness, acceptance, or anger, helplessness, anxiety, depression, hatred, and fear? You get to choose.

Next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, notice the reactions that come up, and ask yourself, “Is this what I want to practice today?” If not, choose to let go and practice something positive, instead.

Now, let's practice meditation together

For a 12-minute guided meditation on the circle of breath, forward the podcast or the video above to 2:16.

Next week:

Next week I’m going to share what the seasoned meditator knows about monkey mind, that unsettling state where your mind moves from thought to thought like a monkey swinging from branch to branch. If you’d like a reminder email, just go to mindful15.com/subscribe and subscribe to our newsletter. I’ll let you know when new lessons are online and I’ll also send you a free deep relaxation.

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