Alex:

Hey there, folks! Welcome back to Podify for Two. Today, we’re talking about something… well, let’s just say, if you’ve ever had a massage at an airport, this might get a little personal. And if you haven’t—well, buckle up. We’ve got two guests with us today who come from very different sides of the airport massage world.

First, representing the future, we have an AI-driven massage robot. This machine scans your body, tailors the perfect massage to your exact needs, and never once asks how your day was. It’s kind of like if your Roomba had a spa day. Joining us is Marcus, who’s been working with this robot for a while now and will be its human voice today. Thanks for being here, Marcus.

Marcus (AI Robot):

Thanks, Alex. I like to think of myself as the mediator between human flesh and silicon efficiency. But, uh, not in a creepy way.

Alex:

Not creepy at all. And on the other side of this showdown, we have Pam, who’s been giving back rubs at airports for 15 years—15 years of tense shoulders, jet-lagged passengers, and, I’m guessing, some pretty odd conversations. Pam, welcome.

Pam:

Hey, thanks. Yeah, 15 years. I’ve seen things. I’ve felt things. Mostly knots, though.

Alex:

I can only imagine. So, we’ve got a battle of the ages here: robot vs. human, efficiency vs. empathy, silence vs. those awkward conversations about someone’s cat allergies. Marcus, let’s kick it off with you. What’s the big sell here? Why would I want a robot instead of Pam?

Marcus (AI Robot):

Well, Alex, the idea is simple: precision. The robot doesn’t care if you’ve got an embarrassing tattoo or if you just scarfed down a burrito. It scans your body, creates a 3D map, and gets to work. No chit-chat. No small talk about your latest vacation. You just lie down, fully clothed, by the way, and in about 30 minutes, you’ve got a massage that’s tailored just for you.

Alex:

So, you’re telling me it’s perfect for people who want to avoid the awkward “do I make eye contact with my massage therapist while I’m face down?” situation?

Marcus (AI Robot):

Exactly. And no oil! You don’t leave feeling like a greasy pancake. It’s made for people who want to pop in, get a massage, and get out. No fuss.

Alex:

Pam, what do you think? Is “no fuss” really what people want?

Pam:

laughs Look, I get the appeal. Some people are… let’s say, averse to interaction. I’ve had clients who practically pretended I wasn’t there. But at the end of the day, people come to me because they don’t just need their muscles worked out—they need someone to listen. You wouldn’t believe how many times a back rub turns into someone telling me about their ex, or their mom, or that time they accidentally got locked in a bathroom in Paris. They don’t even realize they need it, but that connection helps. You can’t replicate that with a machine.

Alex:

Okay, I’ve got to ask—what’s the weirdest thing someone’s said to you during a massage? You’ve been doing this for a while.

Pam:

Oh, easy. A guy once asked me if I could rub “optimism” into his shoulders. Like, literally, he was dead serious. He was like, “Can you just massage some positivity in there?” I didn’t even know how to respond. I’m over here working out a knot the size of a tennis ball, and this guy wants emotional enhancement.

Alex:

laughs That’s a tough ask! Marcus, does the robot offer optimism-mode yet?

Marcus (AI Robot):

No, no optimism setting—yet. We’re sticking to pure mechanics. You want your lower back fixed? We got you. Emotional crises? That’s a whole other software update. But, in a way, that’s kind of the point. There’s no expectation with the robot. No judgment. Just efficient, pressure-point accuracy. No “weirdness” involved.

Alex:

But here’s the thing that bugs me, Marcus. Isn’t there something almost… psychologically unsettling about the idea of letting a machine into this really intimate, physical space? I mean, a massage is—you’re vulnerable, right? You’re lying down, you’re letting someone—or something—touch you. Isn’t there something that feels… off about that?

Marcus (AI Robot):

It’s a fair question. We’re taught to associate physical touch with connection, right? But not everyone feels comfortable being touched by another person, especially in a setting like an airport, where you’re already stressed and disoriented. For those people, the robot is actually less unsettling. It’s predictable. It’s not going to judge you, it’s not going to misread you. It’s like using a weighted blanket—it’s comforting in its detachment.

Pam:

Yeah, but Marcus, that’s kind of sad, isn’t it? I mean, are we really getting to a point where people would rather be touched by a machine than a human being? Sure, I’ve had clients who don’t want to chat, but they still need that connection, even if they don’t realize it. I think it says something about where we’re headed—like, we’re so caught up in avoiding discomfort that we’re actually avoiding each other.

Alex:

That’s… heavy, Pam. And kind of true. It’s like we’ve reached this weird crossroads where tech is making everything convenient, but it’s also making us a little more isolated. But let’s talk about something more specific. Pam, you’ve spent years reading people’s bodies—do you think you can tell more about someone from how they carry tension in their shoulders than from a conversation?

Pam:

Oh, 100%. People carry their lives in their bodies. I can tell if someone’s stressed from their job, their relationship, or even their commute just by the way their muscles feel. You can’t hide that from me. Like, I had this one woman who came in every time she flew for business, and her shoulders were always rock hard. She’d tell me it was from “work stress,” but I could tell it wasn’t just work—it was her marriage. A robot can’t read that. You can’t scan that. Sometimes, people need a little compassion to go with their back rub, you know?

Alex:

Marcus, any thoughts on that? Compassion doesn’t exactly come standard with your robot.

Marcus (AI Robot):

It doesn’t, but to be fair, it’s not supposed to. The robot’s not there to be your therapist. It’s there to get the job done, and for some people, that’s enough. It’s about personal control. They don’t want the compassion or the conversation. They just want relief, and they want it on their terms. No weird vibes, no emotional baggage, just physical relief.

Pam:

But that’s the thing! People don’t know they need more until they experience it. They think they just want their muscles fixed, but there’s so much more going on in a massage than that. It’s about human presence. People want to be seen—even when they don’t realize it.

Alex:

Whoa, this just got existential. Are we talking about massages or the meaning of life here?

Marcus (AI Robot):

laughing Maybe both. It’s like the robot’s just giving people an option. Not every massage has to be a revelation. Sometimes you just need to fix your back and move on. That’s all it’s there for.

Alex:

But do you think we’re losing something in the process? I mean, if we get used to machines filling in these roles that were traditionally human, do we stop connecting with each other in deeper ways? Like, Pam, what if one day no one wanted a human massage anymore because they preferred the robot’s efficiency?

Pam:

Honestly? I’d be sad. But I don’t think that’ll happen. People need people. Sure, robots are convenient, but convenience doesn’t make us happy in the long run. It just makes us numb. And I’ve seen people light up after a massage—not because their back feels better, but because they felt cared for. There’s no replacing that.

Alex:

Wow. Okay, I didn’t think we’d end up discussing whether convenience is making us all numb, but here we are. So, what’s next? Do we end up living in a world where machines handle all the “messy” human stuff so we don’t have to?

Marcus (AI Robot):

I hope not. But I think the robot massage is just an option for people who need a different kind of care. It’s not about replacing Pam—it’s about offering something for those who aren’t comfortable with human interaction. It’s a tool, not a replacement.

Pam:

Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, rubbing out those knots and listening to people overshare about their lives for as long as they need me.

Alex:

And that, folks, is where we’re at. Machines giving us massages, humans giving us a little more, and somewhere in between, we’re all trying to figure out how much we actually need each other. Thanks to Pam and Marcus for being here today, and thanks to all of you for listening.

Join us next week when we ask: What do pigeons and cryptocurrency have in common? Spoiler: More than you’d think. As always, let us know who you want to hear from next. And don’t forget to stay human out there.

Copyright © 2024 by Paul Henry Smith

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