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Season 2, Episode 30

Finding That Fire Again

This week I’m talking about the nerves, excitement and unexpected spark that has come with preparing for my first presentation with The Change Room and what happened when I tested it out on a much smaller audience at Mum’s Bible study.

In this episode:

• Preparing for my first big speaking presentation and managing the anxiety that comes with it
• Realising I can be emotional while telling my story and still keep going
• Why making an impact doesn’t require a huge audience
• Losing my policing identity and still asking, “Who am I now?”
• Finding a new sense of purpose and something that has given me that fire again
• The unexpected comment at Bible study that stopped me in my tracks: “Maybe your new gun is your voice.”
• Why “we are still blooming in concrete” feels so relevant to recovery
• Song of the Week: “Birds Still Sing”
• Thought of the Week: from The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
• Remembering how far we’ve come instead of only looking at how far there is still to go

Finding your voice in the chaos.

Be kind to yourself.

Song of the Week:
Birds Still Sing by Taylor Acorn
https://youtu.be/AXOtAAGNajk?si=tIrSirJBR7J4iJ2N

Thought of the Week:
“We have such a long way to go…” said the boy. “Yes, but look how far we’ve come.”
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

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Season 2, Episode 29:

I mark my 21st wedding anniversary and reflect on relationships, love languages and the ordinary things that keep us connected. But this episode is also about something I've been noticing lately — small wins, hope, and slowly learning to trust the good days again.

In this episode:
• celebrating 21 years of marriage and what I've learnt about commitment
• learning the ukulele for a very personal (and slightly questionable 😂) anniversary gift
• how a Kelly Clarkson lyric perfectly describes part of living with PTSD
• why recognising and celebrating small wins matters
• an unexpected night at the theatre that showed me just how far I've come
• preparing to share my lived experience with The Change Room
• asking “who am I now?” after psychological injury — and beginning to like the answer

Recovery doesn't always arrive as one huge breakthrough. Sometimes it's noticing that something you couldn't have handled a year ago is something you can handle today.

You can find me on Facebook and Instagram — and don't forget to like and follow.

Song of the Week:
Kelly Clarkson - Because of You
https://youtu.be/Ra-Om7UMSJc?si=GVMd5kFGozy8e0K6

Thought of the Week:
"Tears fall for a reason, and they are your strength, not weakness"
— The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, Charlie Mackesy

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Season 2, Episode 28

What happens when life changes direction and the identity you once knew no longer quite fits?

This week on Mad Mel’s Mic, I sit down with Matt Elliott, founder of The Change Room — and someone who has played a part in my own journey.

After completing The Change Room myself, Matt became my mentor. Now, in a turn I didn't necessarily see coming, he's invited me to step to the other side of the room and become a presenter.

But this conversation isn't just about The Change Room.

Matt and I talk about his own journey, the transition out of professional rugby league coaching, identity after major life change, asking for help, and why human connection can be such an important part of recovery.

We also explore:

• How service can shape our identity
• What happens when a major chapter of your life ends
• The story and meaning behind The Change Room
• Focusing on what you can do after injury or adversity
• Practical tools including breathing, nutrition and habit change
• Why lived experience can connect differently than advice
• Human connection and its role in recovery
• What resilience actually means
• Asking for help and challenging old conditioning
• Why recovery doesn't always need to be complicated

And, on a personal note, I ask Matt the question I've been curious about since he asked me to present:

What made you think I could contribute to The Change Room from the other side of the room?

🎙️ The Other Side of The Change Room — with Matt Elliott

Follow Mad Mel’s Mic on Facebook and Instagram for episode updates and behind-the-scenes moments.

Matt's Thought of the Week:
“It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.”

Finding your voice in the chaos.

Be kind to yourself. ❤️

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Season 2, episode 27

Sometimes progress doesn’t look like a huge breakthrough. Sometimes it looks like doing something today that you couldn’t have done 12 months ago.

In this episode, I’m talking about those wins we so easily overlook — staying out of hospital, coming off medication, setting boundaries, saying no, protecting our energy, getting back to exercise… and even something as simple as doing a Click & Collect.

I also share a few updates from my own life, reflect on how far I’ve come, and talk about why comparing ourselves to where we were — rather than where we think we should be — can completely change the way we see our progress.

Plus, this week’s song is OneRepublic’s “I Lived”, which feels pretty bloody fitting.

So here’s the question: if the version of you from 12 months ago — or even five years ago — could see you now, what would they think?

Maybe you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.

🎵 Song of the Week: OneRepublic – I Lived
Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R9LJ2sBD0F8?si=ce2x50hD7BCOaWAO

💭 Thought of the Week:
“We often wait for kindness… but being kind to yourself can start now.”
— The Mole, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

Be kind to yourself. 

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Season 2, episode 26

This episode is special. Melissa had the amazing opportunity be have a chat with Narelle Fraser who is a former Victorian Police officer. She started her own podcast NFI, Narelle Fraser Interviews after her own diagnosis of PSTI.

We share Melissa Smith’s raw path from an 18-year policing career to being medically retired at 37 after PTSI hit hard and fast, revealing years of suppressed trauma. We talk through what helped her rebuild, from inpatient care and TMS to honest conversations at home and using her podcast to stay real about the good days and the brutal ones. 
• reframing PTSD as PTSI and why “injury” reduces stigma 
• starting as a teenage cop and learning fast at a sink-or-swim station 
• everyday challenges of policing including the justice system loop 
• a proud moment using iDAT to support a homeless man into rehab 
• the fatal crash task that triggered a collapse and brought old memories back 
• asking EAP for urgent help and waiting far too long 
• masking symptoms and using extreme exercise to run from pain 
• what a specialised psych hospital ward is actually like 
• medication struggles plus the decision between ECT and TMS 
• how family and friends respond and what they need to understand 
• managing PTSI long term with tools, talk and self-honesty 
• building Mad Mel’s Mic and what her kids learned from her recovery 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. 

More information about Narelle can be found here:
https://narellefraser.com/

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Season 2, episode 25

We go back through an unexpected “rabbit hole” that starts with a photo request and ends with me rereading the goodbye texts I sent when I left the police. I unpack how PTSD twisted my memory into feeling abandoned, and how those messages and my progress since then remind me I’m still moving forward. 
• running out of phone storage and stumbling into old messages from 2019 to 2021 
• the group text I sent on my last day in the police and what it brings up 
• feeling like I had leprosy and why that belief made sense at the time 
• rereading colleagues’ replies and realising people cared but didn’t know what to say 
• a Mount Druitt memory and the flying fox park breaks 
• song of the week I Will Survive and the idea that life starts again after a career ends 
• sharing my story publicly without shame and how that opens new doors 
• a rough couple of days and being proud that I can cry and feel again 
• watching true crime again without nightmares and noticing real PTSD recovery 
• looking back to measure growth and find something to be proud of 
• being proud of my policing career even though it broke me 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. 

Song of the week:
I will survive by Gloria Gaynor
https://youtu.be/6dYWe1c3OyU?si=whf_V8wphhUYZ5mr

Thought of the week:
The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse by Charlie Macksey
"So much beauty we need to look after"

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Season 2, episode 24

I talk through what’s been on my mind lately, from refining my podcast branding to the way winter can get under your skin when you’re living with PTSD. A Katy Perry shower song turns into a reminder that taking your life back is hard, doable, and worth it. 
• questioning my intro, branding, and how to grow without losing authenticity 
• noticing how cold weather and small-town life affect mood and routine 
• sharing updates on motivational speaking and new opportunities ahead 
• using Katy Perry’s “Roar” to talk about choice, control, and recovery steps 
• finding purpose through kids and learning why putting myself first isn’t selfish 
• dealing with injury, restlessness, and the mental spiral of being stuck 
• swapping trash TV for true crime documentaries that force full attention 
• going on an apocalypse book and zombie survival tangent 
• reflecting on the hidden inside world behind what people see 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. 

Song of the Week:
Katy Perry - Roar
https://youtu.be/CevxZvSJLk8?si=XgtDU2tE3Qwgj-Kq

Thought of the week:
The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse by Charlie Macksey
"isn't it off. We can only see our outside, but nearly everything happens on the inside"

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Season 2, Episode 23

I reflect on why I can honestly say “thank you” to PTSD even while admitting the low points, and how reframing my diagnosis helps me keep moving forward. I share the song and thought that keep me grounded, plus a small moment with a friend that completely changed how I hear my own self-talk. 
• saying “thank you” to PTSD and what that mindset shift unlocks 
• Dream On by Aerosmith as a reminder that life continues after trauma 
• the past can still hurt and the value of learning from it 
• catching negative self-talk with the line “Please do not talk about my friend like that” 
• practising the catchphrase be kind to yourself 
• returning to pickleball carefully and the power of community 
• surprising my parents with a Cosentino show and why local arts matter 
• a parenting milestone and dreaming about future travel 
• thought of the week: our freedom is how we react to things 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. 

Song of the week:
Dream on - Aerosmith
https://youtu.be/89dGC8de0CA?si=i-EwRR7Gze00t20k

Thought of the week:
The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse by Charlie Mackesy
"One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things"

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Season 2, Episode 22

We hand the mic to the other Mel for Takeover Week and answer listener questions with no prep, which turns into a funny, honest look at my life with PTSD. We talk recovery tools, the awkward reality of boundaries, and the small ways people can show up that actually help.
• pop culture updates and why self-kindness comes first 
• secret talents including guitar and why music matters after trauma 
• the weird things we believed for way too long 
• scent memories and how sensory cues can transport you 
• choosing honesty over excuses when I am not coping 
• habits that can drive people crazy and the routines I rely on 
• PTSD recovery supports including inpatient stays and TMS 
• box breathing, grounding, art, puzzles, and social connection 
• what to text when checking in and why “thinking of you” works 
• what not to say when someone is struggling 
• living without shame about medical retirement and identity changes 
• what I would say to PTSD and why gratitude can coexist with pain 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram and don't forget to like and follow. 
Don't forget to be kind to yourself.

Thought of the Week:
"People will forget what you said and forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou

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Season 2, Episode 21

We talk through what PTSD recovery looks like on an ordinary week, from loneliness and broken dreams to the quiet pride of noticing real progress. We share a trigger test that goes better than expected, plus the small routines, friendships, and boundaries that help us stay steady. 
• asking you to send in burn-in questions for Mel’s upcoming takeover interview 
• linking “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams” to the loneliness and grief of a PTSD diagnosis 
• watching a crash documentary despite it being a trigger and noticing no nightmares or anxiety spike 
• taking a real win seriously as proof of progress after years of work 
• entering a quilt and cushions in a Blue Mountains competition and making a Sydney day trip out of it 
• managing a stubborn knee injury while keeping expectations realistic 
• needing solitude more after diagnosis and feeling the strain of a busy house of teenagers 
• ending on the idea that our freedom lives in how we choose to react 
So send an email to her at askmadmel at gmail.com and she will collate all the questions. 
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. 

Song of the Week:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
https://youtu.be/Soa3gO7tL-c?si=dxvlkOjoV52MCpHj

Thought of the week:
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse - Charlie Macksey
"One of our greatest freedoms if how we react to things"