Magickal Musings

The following Podcast is a chapter from my book ‘Tiamat Unveiled’ available now on Amazon.com

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In this chapter I am going to take you on an interesting ride in which we look deeper at letters and numbers and how they relate to one another and to Tiamat more specifically. It is quite speculative, but I suspect it will be of great interest to you and can potentially add meaning to Tiamat and her ultimate purpose.  The way we will do this is through something called Gematria.

If you have studied the occult or more specifically the Kabbalah, you may have encountered the term Gematria.  In Gematria we try to ascertain additional meaning from letters by looking at their numerical value and manipulating them in various ways. These numerical values often contain hidden secrets that would otherwise not be ascertained by reading the surface text.  It is VERY popular in Kabbalah study and can only truly be understood in Hebrew. I employ it ALL THE TIME In my own kabbalistic practices.  I will cover Gematria in much greater depth in my upcoming course on Kabbalah.

You may be asking yourself. What does Gematria have to do with Tiamat?  Good question and thank you for asking.

As you may know, numbers show up in almost all religious and spiritual texts. Be it 40 days and 40 nights, the trinity (3), 10 Commandments, the 10 sefirot in the kabbalah. And of course, the most famous number of them all, 666; the supposed number of the beast.

I for one do not believe this is a negative number, and I have a feeling many of you also would agree.  To me, aside from the historical connotations, i.e. Emperor Nero, the number signifies upheaval and a destruction of the old. Chaos for lack of a better term. Chaos is not a bad thing; it’s absolutely necessary for new potentials to become actualized.

Before I go into detail, first let me itemize the Hebrew letters and their numerical value, this way you can do the math with me as we work through this chapter.  There are several forms of Gematria, we will use the two most common kinds with the following numerical values. ALL Gematria sources are considered valid; they are simply used in different contexts. In kabbalah they are used interchangeably.

Hebrew letter Values –  Example 1: 

Hebrew letter Values –  Example 2: 

In the following example, we will use Hebrew letter Values –  Example 1 as our method for Gematria.  

As I stated earlier in the book, we know that Tiamat is called “Tehom” in the book of Genesis, and as in the Enuma Elish, Genesis is discussing a primordial moment when Tiamat is roaming the void. 

An old Testament Scholar by the name of Hermann Gunkel (1862-1932) spent a lot of time thinking about the Book of Genesis and the Enuma Elish; especially Tiamat.  He, as other scholars agreed, that the term, Tehom means Tiamat. Now here is where it gets interesting.  In Hebrew, there are a few ways to say “ancient” and “Primordial.” One way, that he used, was “קדמוניה” Pronounced “Kadmonia.” Kadmon is the root of that word by the way.  So he wrote the term “ תהום קדמוניה” or “ Tehom Kadmonia.” This means “Primordial Abyss/Deep”. Which, as we know, has been said to be a reference to Tiamat.  Let us see why this is significant. Let’s look at each letter and its numerical value and add them up. Shall we?

ת – 400

ה – 5

ו – 6

ם – 40

 ק – 100

ד – 4

מ – 40

ו – 6

נ – 50

י – 10

ה – 5

Add them all up and you get = 666.

So, the term for “primordial abyss” is equal to 666. We also know that both Judaism and Christianity have villainized the serpent, and Christianity has assigned the great serpent the number 666. So, we can see there is a correlation. Now please note, I do not think the serpent is evil. That is all just religious propaganda, BUT, it is still significant that this number still equals 666.  That is as far as Gunkel went with Tiamat in terms of Gematria. I am going to take it further and show you how deep this Gematric rabbit hole can go.

Since we know that through Tiamat, all the universe was created. She is, in many ways, the very essence of creation and in a rather direct way, the creator God herself despite how the creation transpired.  Some would say, she is the Goddess of us all. After all, it is also through her that all other Gods emerge.  This fact leads me to the next Gematric journey.

The term in Hebrew for “Your God” is pronounced “Eloheychem.”   Let’s look at this word in Hebrew.

In the following example, we will use Hebrew letter Values –  Example 2 as our method for Gematria.  

אלהיכם

Using Gematria method two, let us add these letters up.

א – 1

ל – 30

ה – 5

י – 10

 כ – 20

ם – 600

Add them all up and you get = 666.

So now we have Primordial Deep/abyss which is Tiamat and “Your God” and can also be used plural to mean “ Your Gods” both equaling 666.  If you strip the religious propaganda away, we can see that perhaps there is something going on here.  HOWEVER, I am not done yet.  I have three more things I would like to mention.

As we have seen, Tiamat is often referred to as a serpent and or dragon.  Since we see a correlation with 666, we will use the common form of “snake” since according to some religionists, the snake in the garden of Eden and the beast of 666 are one and the same being.  We also find Leviathan and Rahab of the previous chapters referred to as “serpent.”  Let us take a look at the word serpent in Hebrew, pronounced “NACHASH” and see what Gematria tells us.

נחש

We will use Hebrew letter Values –  Example 1 for this example.

Now let’s add them up, and we get = 358.

Well, not quite 666, BUT here is why I mention this. It will make perfect sense in a moment and will tie into the previous Gematric examples.

Still using Hebrew letter Values –  Example 1 . We will now look at another word. The word below is pronounced “Mashiyach.”

משיח

מ – 40

ש – 300

י – 10

ח – 8

Now let’s add them up, and we get = 358.

The word above in Hebrew means…MESSIAH. Yes, you read that right.  In Gematria, we have the word for Snake and Messiah equaling the same numeric value and to top it all off; it is using the same Gematria system.

Now to go even further into the gematric rabbit hole. If you add 3+5+8 you get = 16.

The word for “She” in Hebrew is.

היא

Add it up, it equals 16. So snake and Messiah perhaps point to a feminine aspect. Tiamat maybe?

So here is where I am going with this.  In the first two examples, we find that “Primordial Abyss/deep” that is Tiamat and the term “ Your God” both equal 666.

We know that through her, all exists, she is the Goddess of the universe.  So, the two perhaps are related. Tiamat is our creator. “Tiamat is Your God.”

Now we know that 666 and Tiamat are associated with the serpent. We find the word for Serpent numerically equals 358.  We also find that term for savior or Messiah is also 358. And when you add the numbers together for 3+5+8 you get 16, which corresponds with the word “She.”

When you put all these pieces together. We find a hidden meaning behind Tiamat, the snake and creation itself.  We can speculate that it is through Tiamat, and her energy that we are not only created, but are also freed. We know in the occult that chaos and magick are meant to redeem us from bondage, not enslave us. For many 666 means that very thing, freedom. So perhaps, 666, the number of the “beast” is, in fact, the number of redemption and its through the primordial deep/abyss of Tiamat, we can find that in ourselves. After all, it is through her that we exist. Her very salty essence is in our blood.

Perhaps the writers of Old and New Testaments were trying to tell us something but hid it behind a veil.  I know it is speculative, but this is exactly how Gematria works. It teases out meaning. As speculative as it is, It is something we should seriously think about. Perhaps there is even a veiled reference to Kundalini right there as well. Kundalini is, after all, a serpent and feminine in nature. I just touched the surface here. There is a lot more to this.

However, for the sake of brevity, I must move on.

If you are interested in wahat you have read, please click the image below and grab a copy.

Thank you again for supporting my work. 

Audio

She had a conversion experience to Christianity. And no, not the New Age ,  New Thought Christianity,  but full-on Christianity that many occultists frown upon. We are talking bible-thumbing, only Jesus saves kind of Christianity.   She says all this in a few videos.  I will link one of them below.

When I first heard the rumors that she converted, I was skeptical, but when I saw her video expanding on her conversion, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was her authentic self. While watching the video, I had many moments in which I gasped. Not so much because of what she was saying, but rather the fact she, was saying any of it at all.  After watching it, I felt on odd loss. This is funny because I am not even a follower of Doreen Virtue’s, and I have always been skeptical of her ideas of ascended masters and all that. I am rather skeptical of the whole ascended masters, ascension stuff anyway; but that is not for this podcast.

In either case, I walked away a bit stunned. When I say she is hardcore Christian, I am not joking. She, in a very nice way disavowed pretty much everything she has done in the past and everything we do right now. You will see in the video below what I mean.

As you may have seen or can imagine,  many people have come out against her because of this… I won’t be one of those, in fact, if this, to her, is her authentic self, then I say, good for her.  We have ALL changed and evolved in some way or another. What was once true for us, may not be true now. The same applies to her and we should allow her to be free to pursue this shift.

In the video, she makes a valid point about the idea of Jesus.   She mentioned that many are turned off by the idea of Jesus because of a bad experience with the Christian religion. As I said in my post “ The Pot Calling The Kettle Black” I mention that people often experience a bad reaction to religion and then blame the “god” of that religion, when in fact, they suffered hardship due to the  FOLLOWERS of the religion and not from the God itself.  So in many ways, Jesus is the topic of Christianity.  But , he is not the religion itself. So one can, without getting too technical, worship Jesus and not follow canon law.  But even this idea gets pushback from the occult community.

Anything remotely religious is scorned.  I got it, I too had some pretty horrible experiences with religion. But, what I have done, and what we all do, is take what works and leave the rest. In fact, we do it all the time and yet we don’t even know it.  I see many occultists talk about Kabbalah and they get pretty deep into it. Little do they know, is that what they know about it, is mostly based on what has been translated or accentuated.  If you were to read the ORIGINAL texts of the Kabbalah, the very same texts we occultists so selectively quote, it is clear, Kabbalah is NOT for anyone but the Jewish people.

Although I personally don’t believe that and don’t apply that idea, the main Kabbalistic texts says so. Yet somehow it is okay for occultists to accept that but not the idea of Jesus.

In fact, the Zohar, the main text of Kabbalah denigrates non-Jews by saying “Their work is vanity, it is an illusion at which we must laugh; they will perish when God visits them in his wrath.” At the moment when the Holy One, blessed be He, will exterminate all the Gentiles of the world, Israel alone will subsist…” Zohar, Vayschlah 177b. There are many more verses, but that is one to ponder.

Yet, for some reason, occultists are okay quoting the Zohar, but can’t even imagine quoting the bible.

Why? Both are EXTEMELY religious, in fact, kabbalah as we know it wouldn’t even exist if the Jewish RELIGION and the BIBLE didn’t exist. So I think it is being intellectually dishonest to slam Jesus or any religion for that matter while WHOLE heartedly excepting Kabbalah.

Kabbalah at its core is Judaism. We can twist it and turn it around but if you read the Zohar,  it is SUPER dogmatic. It even goes on to say that non-Jews don’t even have the same soul as Jews. Yet, no one even mentions that. So if someone is going to hate religion, they should probably abandon the kabbalah as well and every religious mystical tradition for that matter.

This applies to Sufism as well. Sufism IS Islam, if you disavow the Quran, Sufism is empty and dead.

Same with Hinduism, we chant mantras and read profound words and yet we tend to forget that such texts as the laws of Manu exist and that the caste system is an actual religious edict.  The caste system, that has caused so much suffering, yet we selectively choose to leave that stuff behind for what works for us.  In light of this, We should allow and extend the same courtesy to all religions including Christianity and those who follow it.

So what I am saying is that we should take a broader look at these things. There is nothing wrong with Jesus, there is nothing wrong with taking what works for you and leaving the rest and we can do it without bad mouthing and sending hatred towards a religion. As occultists, we already take what works and leave the rest, I am sure as occultists we can extend the same right to others, including Doreen Virtue.

The next issue is that Doreen virtue has disavowed her oracles cards and ascended masters teachings and even implied that some of these masters might be evil entities.  So the question is, what about all the work she has published? Does that mean it is invalid?

NO, absolutely not!

I think, as humans, we are all or nothing in our thoughts. We think an authors work and the author themselves are one and the same. If they slip up, this means that their work is corrupted. This is not true. Messengers don’t always embody their message and so by thinking they must embody it, we lose the benefits of their work. This view is puritanical.

Many years ago I met two authors, You all know them, but I can’t mention names of course. Let’s just say, Oprah made them famous.  At the time, I was working at a bookstore and was sitting in the PR office. The authors would stop there first before they would they would give their talk . These authors were so arrogant and exuded the exact opposite of what they write about. In fact, one said” I can’t have any one touch me, I just want to chant a mantra and leave.”  So much for “ Compassion to all and we are all the same.” This asshole was walking around like some kind of god with a pole stuck up his ass.  But yet, his work is tremendous and so helpful. If I were to judge his work by his character, I would lose out on so much.

Want a more shocking example? Let’s look at the Dalai Lama, he is untouchable right? The embodiment of compassion?  Go research how he treated his own people who don’t believe in the same form of Buddhism that he believes in. Let’s just say, many have died because of his intolerance . Yet, his wisdom is unsurpassed in Buddhism . Oh and the reason I can mention him by name and not the other authors is because his relationship to the sect Dorje Shugden is easily ascertained, since it is very public knowledge . Go check it out and tell me what you think of the Lama.

The lesson here is that,  You don’t need to like the  establishment but please don’t confuse it with the spiritual message . Because if you can hate Christianity and selectively ignore the atrocities of other religions, then there is a disconnect . We as occultists should be a light on to the world. Doreen Virtue is following her path, whether you like it or not and we are NO ONE to judge her.

She has even given up her royalties because her older products do not represent who she is anymore her . You will be hard pressed to find other authors who don’t live their work do that . She has changed and this is her truth now.  Just like you want to live your truth, she showed be allowed to live hers as well.

Speak soon.

Doreen Virtue Video:

Hello,

Well, as you know, I am back from my trip to Sedona, Arizona. It was such a fantastic trip. I have heard so much about Sedona and its vortexes. I went in open to experience it while still maintaining a slight bit of skepticism. I thought at the very least; I would enjoy the desert. I resonate strongly with desert climate. As I entered Sedona, I was struck by its beauty and its serene stillness. I mean this place is so insanely beautiful. I fell in love with the land. As many of you know, I am a city person, and although I like desert, I am not a person who is eager to live closer to nature . Sedona is an exception.

For the first part of the trip I stayed at the Adobe Grand Villas, more specifically, this room. If you ever go to Sedona, this is the place to go: http://adobegrandvillas.com/rooms-Sagebrush.htm . I absolutely loved the shower… As a funny aside, they had this blanket that was made of faux fur. That was great and really comfortable if not slightly decadent; I wondered if Russian oligarchs sleep with blankets made of fine furs. The quality of sleep I had in Sedona was the best I have had in years.

My visit to the vortexes was a great experience with the exception of one. I did not experience any grand energy bursts or changes…That would come later. However, I did get a sense that something inside of me was “softening.” On the Airport Mesa Vortex, I felt extreme sedation, as I meditated, I was sensing that sleep was about to take hold of me. I had to break the stupor because all I needed was to fall asleep in the blaring sun. The Vortex at the Chapel of the Holy Cross was amazing; it is there that I fell in love with this painting. I am very much in resonance with the divine feminine so Mary really touches me.

My Trip to the Boynton Canyon vortex was a nightmare. Not because of the energy there, but, well, the nature . I had a feeling that was not going to be a good day for me. As I walk along the path entering the trail; I see a wild Boar just grazing near a tree. I suddenly froze for a moment. I know wild Boars are not exactly known to be fluffy and cuddly. I figured if I walk slowly away he/she won’t see me. Well, I was wrong; it saw me and its hackles went up, and I nearly gave up the ghost in fear . I am a city guy the most ferocious animal we have around here is the rat . Not that a rat can’t be a mean mofo, but a Boar is another story altogether. Luckily, the Boar was hungry, so he/she left me alone, and I thanked the good God above and the devil below that it had . I walk for about 30 minutes and start to notice that footprints are no longer present on the path, I went way off of the normal trail and realized I was lost. Cell phone signal was nonexistent. As my pulse begins to rise, I try to center. As I kept on walking, now at an increasingly faster pace, I come up to a sign. The sign says, ” Dead Mans Pass” FUCKING GREAT! That’s all I needed to see. I heard of those stories of people getting lost while hiking, and their bodies are found weeks later. I could see it now ” Occult Author’s body found in the Desert, Even his magick could not save him.” I thought, how Ironic it would be for me to be found dead in the midst of nature . Suffice it to say, I got back out alive and well and managed not to get gored by a Boar and mauled by whatever else was out there.

Luckily, that day got better for me as I approached the main event of this trip to see Don Miguel Ruiz and his family at Sedona Mago. http://www.sedonamagoretreat.org/ The grounds were amazing. I have been to other retreat centers, and this is by far my favorite. I have been to the Omega Institute, and it can’t hold a candle to Mago, not even close, not even in the same league. I loved everything about Mago. The food was great; the room was great; the bed was comfortable, and the people were inviting. That night, the opening ceremony was filled with music, love, laughter and even some tears. Don Miguel Ruiz spoke for a while, and I was immediately taken by his humility. I also noticed how flirtatious he was with the women . I was also quite impressed with his sons Don Miguel Ruiz Jr and Don Jose Ruiz. Ruiz Jr is a very charismatic guy and had a glow of confidence and self-awareness about him. Jose was a bundle of energy which, at first, turned me off because it seemed over the top, but in person, and in his class, he was far more subdued and resonated with a strong sense of purpose and a love for life. I ended up having a lot in common with him. I appreciated that. I had very meaningful personal time with them both and came to the conclusion that they are quality people. I will meet with them again, in a less formal setting.

The next morning, I attended an early-morning meditation; we all walked through this beautiful labyrinth. I found myself getting annoyed there as well. There were people walking the labyrinth very slowly, which of course slows down the entire group. At first, my NY side comes out, and I was like ” Come on, come on, let’s go, let’s go” in my mind of course . I then had to witness that and realized that this person was probably doing us all a favor by slowing us down. It forced all of us to center and stay mindful. I realized then that it was alright. Why am I in a hurry? After we exited the labyrinth, we all stood in a circle with one of the members sitting inside of it. She decided not to be part of the outer Circle. She sat there and began to sing and started to put her spirituality on display for all to see. I found myself again, feeling judgmental and annoyed. I had to step that back as well, and I realized that, yes, perhaps she is doing that for attention but who am I to judge her path? Maybe this is part of her path, and maybe this is a result of her being ignored in life; I don’t know. Who was I to deny her of this experience? It’s her path. I don’t know her. It helped that she had a spectacular voice; she sang in Spanish, and it was flawless Spanish at that. So yes, the other participants were mirrors for me, and I was forced to face my judgments and preconceived notions. We all have them, and they are often right there below the surface. When they are triggered, we mindlessly feed them until we get a moment of insight that makes us stop. In the end, they just eat us alive whilst the person we have the judgment against gets to live rent free in our minds and they don’t even have a clue any of this is happening.

That same day I had a workshop with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. That was great, we had a deep but short conversation regarding several things and at the end of the class, he hugged me and kissed me three times on the cheek and told me he loved me. Then as I turned around, Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the Four Agreements shook my hand and hugged me too . The Ruiz family are avid huggers. Several hours later, I had the Shaman Breath Work class with someone by the name of Linda Star Wolf. Many of her works revolve around a kind of Egypto-Shamanistic teaching. I have studied Ancient Egyptian history for decades, both as an intellectual pursuit and as a spiritual one, and I was HIGHLY skeptical of this. Well, she didn’t really get into the philosophy of it so I can’t tell you anything about it. I did get her books so once I have the time; I will read them. Her breath work exercise, however, was incredibly powerful and very simple. Her method is incredibly reminiscent of Stanislav Grof’s Holotropic breath work. I have studied his method on a purely intellectual level in the early 2000s as part of my studies on Transpersonal Psychology, but I never actually used it.

We were all laying down on yoga mats and blankets, there had to be at least 100 people in this room. She dimmed the lights, and we went through a brief guided relaxation exercise. She then advised us to start breathing in and out FULLY without pause. At that time, fast playing music was piped through the speaker system. It was really good music by the way. At first, I found it difficult to breath so quickly, but I got the hang of it. The session was to last nearly an hour. Grof’s methods can last three or more hours. I could not imagine doing it for that long. The breath work clearly alters the amount of oxygen your brain is getting and three hours seems like too much. Then again, I did not try it so I cannot say for sure what it would be like. I am certainly more open to it now than ever before.

So I started to breathe fully in and fully out. After what seemed like an eternity, I found that I could not lay down any longer. I had to sit up. My body started to tremble, and I was sweating profusely; I mean buckets. I felt very high but at the same time horribly nauseous. I wasn’t like ” cooool maaan, lets smoke a doobey” it was more like ” What the fuck is happening to me” . I kept my eyes closed and suddenly; I saw Kali, Lilith, Durga, Mary; Shiva and Tara swirled around me. Tears came flowing down my face. I could not get myself out of it, even as I slowed my breathing to a normal place, it was too late, I was in an altered state of consciousness, and it was at that point I felt I couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, Shiva’s eyes come in front of my consciousness and in a very stern voice he says “let it out, let it out” and then the energy just completely burst through my chakras and I started to cry and cry and tremble and tremble. Just when I thought it was over I felt the presence of Tara and heard, “finally, you can now see with my eyes”. Theoretically I know what that means, but I am not sure how it will unfold.

I suddenly heard the blood-curdling screams and cries of other participants. The breath work brought out some intense darkness for them. I could feel it. At this point, My head was in SPLITTING pain and that is very rare for me; I am not prone to headaches. The screams and the moans of the others was just too much for me to hear in this state. My heart chakra was wide open. I just had to get out of there. So I left, I didn’t even stay for the reintegration (Which was a big mistake). I stumbled out of the class like a drunkard and into the harsh Arizona sun. I stumbled over to the statue of Mary that was present there, and as I looked at her; I started to laugh. I don’t know why, but I was laughing. I knew something happened there that would eventually inform the rest of my life. Since I couldn’t really walk straight, I sat near the entrance of the building in which the class was being held. I watched as people emerged, they shuffled out, many completely stupefied. At this point, I was still incredibly nauseous and very thirsty. I eventually made my way back to my room and again; I started to tremble. I had a fire walk to do later, and I wanted to go, but it wasn’t in the stars for me that night. In fact, a fire walk for me would have been dangerous; I was not stable on my feet. So I just went to bed.

The next morning, I was still nauseous, but I worked through it. This was the final day of the retreat, and it was this day I met with Don Jose Ruiz. I must say, he is an incredibly warm person. And yes, he hugged me too . We had a few moments together, and I knew I was speaking to a powerful person. We had a few things in common so it was nice to be able to relate. He was the co-author of the 5th agreement by the way.

After such a whirlwind of a weekend, I had time to reflect and really let it all sink in. I will cover all of that in my next podcast. Stay tuned… I hope you are well… So Mote it be!

This Podcast is on my latest. Press Play to Your Left.

Anonymity and Aloofness are not the Same Thing..

This will not gain me any friends, but I feel this needs to be discussed.