Magicless Myke

Despite leaving Harry and Neville shellshocked at the end of the last chapter, Mad-Eye Moody doesn't ease up with the lessons. In fact, every class seems to be pushing Harry and the rest of the fourth years harder than normal all while the whole school starts to get excited for the arrival of the delegates from the chapter titular Beauxbatons and Durmstrang!

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Shit. Just. Got. Real. We finally get to learn the about the spell that killed Harry's parents, and did something to Neville's? It's another overreaching Mad-Eye lesson as the kids have their first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. Myke also makes poor taste jokes about what the "the unforgivable curses" really are and we get to hear an EXCLUSIVE, BRAND NEW WIZARD ROCK SONG! 

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We finally started classes at Hogwarts! 13 Chapters into The Goblet of Fire! We then quickly find out - it's the same stuff as last year, with some gross twists. Luisa joins us to get into the pus from the Tremor plants, scary looking lobsters, and when - if ever - it's okay to magic-attack a child. 

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12 episodes into our read-through of 'The Goblet of Fire' and we've finally step foot inside Hogwarts, as Harry witnesses his second sorting since he's been a student! We also get our first glimpse at Mad-Eye Moody. We rip into the sorting hats song, talk about slavery, and Marian... raps? 

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Chapter 11 and Chapter 10 were short enough to do a combined episode about, but because The Goblet of Fire is as relatively dense as it is, we're able to pull an episodes worth of discussions about "Aboard the Hogwarts Express"! We've seen this scene before, the kids getting on the train to go to school, but it still hits a little different. We get hints of Mad-Eyed Moody, some special events at school, and even other Wizarding schools! We also get into what we wanted to do as kids, for some reason, pocket dimensions, and more! 

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It's fitting that this episode was recorded on April 1st because the title of this chapter being 'Mayhem at the Ministry' seems like an April Fool's Day prank since not a single bit of this chapter actually takes place at the Ministry! Regardless, the rest of the chapter seems depressingly fitting since Harry, Hermoine, and the non-Ministry Weasleys are stuck inside at home biding time! It's a bit of a slice of wizarding life. 

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In an unsettling turn of events, the raucous joy of the Quidditch World Cup goes from celebratory to hysteric as Death Eaters arrive! Also, Myke finally got to finally remember exactly what Death Eaters were! We also get into Hermoine's activism, the Ministry's terrible detective skills, and Myke's guesses as to what is going on and whom is doing it! Then of course we have to talk about Animal Crossing and Doom Eternal! 

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In a time when all major sports seem to be suspended indefinitely it's a pleasure to get into this eighth  chapter of The Goblet of Fire with what Myke feels like is one of the most thrilling quidditch matches written in the series so far. We get into the weird horniness of the Vela, the on the nose-ness of the leprechauns, and more!

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It's wizarding Coachella as Harry, Hermoine and the Weasley's get to the campsite around the Quidditch World Cup! For us that means we get a feast for our minds and the main course is international wizarding world building! We also talk about what the wizard to pound exchange rate could be, the Brexit attitude towards flying carpets, and sterotyping the Irish! 

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In what seems to be a book long lead up to just get to the Quidditch World Cup, we join our boy Weasleys, Hermoine, Ginny, and Harry as they hike through a town and up a hill to touch a boot. We do get some solid, creative world building along the way as we learn all about the transportation methods of the Wizarding World. We also give some health advice to our white friends and talk about Sonic a lot. 

If there's anything coming up in this book that you want us to talk about on air, email us your questions - either written or recorded - to [email protected], or tweet us @magiclessmyke and follow us on Insta @magiclessmyke!