EMAILS: Dave Matthews Band lyric synchronicity and their tour bus dumping 800 pounds of human waste onto a cruise ship in Chicago. Stone Man Willy in a funeral home basement. VOICEMAILS: The Coke in Honduras is delicious. A mom’s near-death experience. Princeville synchronicity and grandma’s pyramid scheme. “I’ve heard good things about Tom Brady.” Near-death birth canal theory. Titanic insurance conspiracy. A demand for Craig’s pancake cookie recipe.

ALSO: We accidentally give away our email password.

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