Relationships

Do you know fellow singles who seem to go through relationships like you go through jeans or shoes? They go through a cycle. First, they get all excited about the new. Then they enjoy the comfort of the familiar. But eventually, they toss out another old worn and tattered relationship and go shopping for a new one.

Maybe you are the one with the history of unsatisfying relationships. Perhaps you have decided that relationships must inevitably wear out, grow old, wither and die. I do not believe that. I believe most people endure bad relationships and give up on finding a great relationship because they go about it in an unwise and unhealthy way.

There is a better way!

Be the Right Person

Most people believe that their relationships end badly because they didn’t find the right person. This is true – sometimes. I’ll cover that a little later. But, if you have had multiple relationships end badly, maybe it is time to look at the common denominator. That would be you.

It is important to find the right person. But, becoming the right person is perhaps even more important. In fact, it should be your first step. Become the kind of person that attracts the kind of person you are looking for.

Be Whole, Healed, and Content

First, and most importantly, be whole, be healed, and be content where you are. If you ever want to be happily married, first be happily single. Begin your next relationship from a position of inner strength and self-confidence. Work on you first.

Being self-confident gives you the freedom to interact with the people who would have intimidated you before. Being content keeps you from making the dumb relational mistakes people make when they get desperate.

Don’t Be Desperate or In a Hurry

It will take time to mold yourself into a content, self-confident person. Take all the time you need to get there. Don’t short-circuit the process by rushing into another relationship. Spend significant time being single first.  You will know you are getting close to being ready for a great relationship when you desire one but don’t feel a desperate need for one.

Be Authentic

A lot of people are so desperate for a love interest that they disguise or even compromise who they are. Part of your journey to becoming the right person is learning who you are at your core and learning to be that person no matter where you are or who you are with.

Never put on a front or compromise who you are for anybody. You cannot sustain that over the long haul. If you want a relationship that lasts, become the person you want to be, be that person for the rest of your life, and find someone attracted to that person.

Focus On Others

Learn to focus on others more than yourself. To find the right person you need to learn about people. You do that by paying attention to them. Listen to what they say and how they say it. Create a safe place for them to share their heart with you.

Learn what makes them tick, what excites them, and what they want their future to look like. All of this focusing on others is, in a way, self-serving. You do not want to get into a relationship with someone you do not know well.

Find the Right Person

Yes, once you become the right person you do need to find the right perso...