Moving to a new city or starting a new career without a point of reference is a deeply humbling experience. You're not just rebuilding logistics; you're renegotiating your place in a social order that doesn’t yet recognize you. You're rebuilding your life.

In that process, it’s natural to seek out peers, to want to connect. But here’s the trap: when you're starting out from zero, you risk shifting from peer-seeking to peer-pleasing.

A wise quote goes: “The secret isn’t to chase butterflies; it’s to tend the garden so they come to you”

Tending this garden is an act of sovereignty. It’s proof that you can generate value from within. Rather than raising walls and courting self-appointed kings, I remind myself to keep planting and pruning. Whoever is meant to share the shade will wander in on their own.

Belonging isn’t something handed down by gatekeepers. It’s something built through action. Though power structures may appear fixed, most of them are performative. Titles, networks, cliques; they’re all maintained by mutual agreement.

After all, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor.

So when I feel the pressure to conform just to belong, I remind myself: they crowned themselves too.

You don’t need to audition for a role in someone else’s play. So step off their stage, drop the borrowed lines, and let your actions do the talking.

As the old adage goes; Rome wasn’t built in a day. It rose brick by brick, road by road, as ordinary hands worked through ordinary days. Your garden grows the same way. Roots spread in silence long before the first bloom appears. Stay with the work; momentum rewards the consistent. One dawn you’ll look up, see a skyline taking shape, and realize - the light has been breaking for a while.

Watch a Short Film Inspired by This Essay

A modern reimagining of the Attack on Titan anime series, where the Titans are monopolies, and the Scouts are those who dare to start from zero.