Making Sense by STAR Institute

March 09, 2023 A Family’s Journey to Sensory Health

Parents of two boys with sensory differences discuss the experience of diagnosis and their pathway to building a sensory lifestyle for their family.

Episode Guests: Jerade and Maria Tipton

The views expressed in the following presentation are those of the presenter(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of STAR Institute.

Resources Mentioned In this episode:

STAR Institute: https://sensoryhealth.org/

Occupational Therapist trained in sensory processing through the STAR Insititute: https://sensoryhealth.org/treatment-directory

Episode transcript:

Carrie Schmitt

I'm joined today by Jerade and Maria Tipton. Jerade and Maria are the first couple and parents that we've had on the podcast. So I would invite you guys to tell us a little bit about yourselves, your meaningful occupations, who you are, what you do in the world and who your family is.

Maria Tipton

I'm Maria Tipton, and I am a military spouse. I am a mom of two amazing boys. They're seven and nine. And I am also a corporate attorney. I also volunteer as President of the Board of Directors at STAR Institute, which is a passion of mine.

Jerade Tipton

As you mentioned, my name is Jerade Tipton, but yeah, I'm a career military professional. And so you know, I guess ever since I left high school, I guess you could say in my life is a life of service, both our country as well as my family. And that's what my primary energies and devotion is to.

Carrie Schmitt

Well, thank you so much for your service. So Maria, you and I connected at the star symposium, we were connecting and talking a little bit about some of the ways that the presentations had resonated with us. And your perspective as the president of our board, but also apparent, to me was such a unique perspective. And so we decided to regroup and record a conversation where you could talk about maybe your journey to connecting the star and a little bit about your family and your personal experience with sensory processing. Okay, so we started our journey. In August of 2016, when my oldest son was I had a limited verbal vocabulary, I would say, and so we were seeking speech therapy. And in the course of that, we referred to occupational therapy as well. And so that kind of opened up a whole new world I had never heard, I've heard of occupational therapy, but never experienced it, especially on a pediatric level. And so

Maria Tipton

I think back in 2016, when we received diagnosis, you know, you hear it was very deficit language, you know, as development, significant developmental delay. And at that point, I saw myself as a mom and an attorney, by trade. And so to take him to therapy three times a week, we had amazing therapists, but it was an approach where I had the therapist take him and do the therapy, and then I came home, and I wasn't really involved. And we then subsequently had a military move, and had to set all that up again, and we had a lot of trouble finding a right fit for our family. And through that course, I found an amazing occupational therapist, I kind of call her like our family ot because she brought me in the sessions really empowered me as a mother. And the sales progression grew exponentially because of that, I started taking classes that were for occupational therapist, but as a mother and doing a lot of home carryover with him. And I came across the star Institute, and because of his sensory needs, and it was just always such a resource for me, because there were Facebook Lives and webinars that I could take. And so I kind of had taken those during that time. And then when we were stationed in Georgia, the symposium was there in 2018. And I was like, I really want to go, like, I want to go to the parents seminar, I want to go to the symposium and so I was able to attend. And that was really life changing for me, because it I learned so much from all of the sessions, you know, at that point, there was a session on interoception was something that I hadn't heard about before, and you know, just kind of tools in things that I could utilize with our own family. And from there, I think, you know, everything just kept what is called like a flow, I think like it continued with him and he is just, you know, just such a well put together nine year old little boy with, you know, just really enjoying life. And so that kind of along with it is is our journey there's there's more to it in terms of we have a second child to that. And because we had gone on this journey with our car. First we recognize some, some things where he may need some intervention. And so that has has helped him as well.

Carrie Schmitt

Jerade, from your perspective, you are taking your military service, you're probably a leader in your roles. And Maria is communicating to you that she's a little concerned about your first child. And then she's when you start down this path. Tell, tell me a little bit about that from your perspective.

Jerade Tipton

Um, so when we started this, you know, it's one of those things is that I guess, it's different perspectives. Maria picked on it. We had a discussion about it. And I said, I know you're, yeah, you're right. He's, I would think he would be using more words and speaking more than I thought, Okay. I'm not really, you know, at what age? Does he become more intelligible in terms of when he's talking to his parents and things of that nature? And, you know, I do remember I thought is interesting when he was, we were living here. And we were downtown, I think old Colorado City. And, you know, a lot of noises and stuff like that, that a motorcycle that went by and Samuels response to that, that really caught me off guard, because he was just totally distraught about it. You know? And then when we started piecing all this together, I really remember that situation, like, yeah, maybe there's something going on here. And the fact is that, this he's getting a lot of inputs, and he's just not knowing how to, to work with those. I do know, I'll be honest, as Father, I was like, Okay, this was nice, like, hey, we'll get him wedding season people and he'll be he'll be fine. And what I realize is, it's not a one and done deal here. With this, it takes persistence. It takes perseverance, and acceptance to understand like, hey, my son has is working through this issue. And this is not going to be a quick fix. This is not gonna say, Hey, sit down with this person for a couple of weeks and do that. No, he's been he's been working through this. And he's now nine. And so part of it is just understanding like, it takes work, okay, it takes work on a parent's part takes work on the child's part, and also trying to develop that support network for that child. You know, it's funny, as kids, we don't really, we're very, I guess, narrow viewed as children, okay, get my life, I'm a child, you know, it's all this stuff around me. And they don't really understand. I know, when he gets older, he'll understand about how much work he had to put in. Maria has done a great job of trying to explain to him as he you know, every year he gets older, hey, this is this is where you were, this is where you're at, where you're at. And this is the work you still need to put in. So that we can kind of like, I guess, normalize that with him. And also allow him to accept that, you know, my biggest fear is you always your biggest fear is your child struggling. And that was my biggest concern. When she first we first started talking about it. Nobody wants to challenge struggle. You know, I'll be honest, my first responses by a broken heart. And I was worried and about him, and fearful. I was like, How are how are we gonna get through all this stuff, and I had to give it to my wife. I'll be honest, you know, what's military is very demanding. She put all her time and effort into chasing everything down.

Carrie Schmitt

First, I'm gonna say thank you for sharing that. Because I think from a parent's perspective, the last thing you want is for your child to struggle, a little bit about how you carry that forward, like Maria was telling me Jared that like as a leader, now, you have given a hand up to people behind you to say like, it's okay, if your child struggles, you can set up these services. And it sounds like Maria, you also have modeled that for other moms, maybe in your situation like, this is how you set up services in the context of the military or in the context of a military move.

Jerade Tipton

Yeah, I've, you know, been in positions with, with co workers and, you know, a military very tight community and share things. And, you know, I've had members share things and like, the struggles and stuff like that, and like, I was better able to relate to that situation was those those members that come and talk to me about that, and I was me, unfortunately, as always, I Hey, we have been through this. And I would always recommend them recommend they talk to my wife. So you know, and we had one situation in which we were able to help someone. And that means a lot. Even if you just help one person it means a lot that we're able to because we've experienced it we will share your experiences with this individual. And then this is how we move down the path. Okay, in support and hope and hopefully providing a better life for your child.

Carrie Schmitt

But what I hear is that you as parents said, This is who he is, I mean, love, and we accept Him, and we're gonna just do whatever it is to make a great life for him.

Jerade Tipton

Yes,

Maria Tipton

Yes, I think, absolutely. And, you know, when I hear Virginia speak, like, it's just like, I wish that I had these words when this first came on, because I still revert back to, you know, you're gonna revert back to the language that you heard at diagnosis. And so sometimes I go back to that, but you know, I, in talks, you know, she calls it asynchronous development, you know, everybody, one, everybody develops differently. And but it was, it was such a significant delay, in our case, that it caused problems just with daily life. And that's not always the case. But I think part of it also is removing that stigma of seeking services, because there's, there are people and professionals out there that can help get that to where a child feels, basically, I always just say, Are they comfortable in their body, because that may mean many different things. But if they're uncomfortable, you were experiencing meltdowns multiple times a day, not being able to participate in, you know, play, you know, the occupations of childhood in an enjoyable manner. And so, I've always been very open about our journey. And I think, because I don't want there shouldn't be a stigma associated with it. And sometimes it feels that way. Maybe, especially when you're a first time parent, and you've never really experienced like the this world maybe where you need additional services. And so that's why I've always shared it like in groups, I'm, I'm in with other other parents and even within the military, and sometimes when you're starting, it feels really lonely, because you're like, What do I even do? Like, where do i Where's step one, and, and it felt that way for me when I first started, and I was very fortunate to meet several people that helped me along the way, and I just kind of want to pass that on as well.

Jerade Tipton

Yeah, as you said, a lot of their specific incidents are brought to us all home to me. I got home from work. And our son was just having, he was having a rough day, he's had a complete meltdown. And I had to go down and I had to get down on his level, and hold him and put my arms around him because he was nothing was working. And he was upset. And he You can tell he was angry and in it, and I put my arm around him and has held him. And he's struggling. And so that, that brings it home to you. And also and as I mentioned, it reinforces your commitment to your job. So it also helped me to kind of put my myself in his shoes, to understand what he's going through. Because he's just, he doesn't know how to communicate that point. And it's the frustration, I could feel the frustration from him. And so bit of a bonding experience, but also it brought it home to me as well.

Carrie Schmitt

And that's beautiful. And it's something that you know, at the start is the two plates, a super high value on parent coaching. And at the very beginning, it's like just join them. Just join them where they are get on the floor. Right? Just look in their eyes and tell them You understand, right that you're you're here and that you're not afraid of whatever their big emotion is, and you wrap your arms around them, and you're with them. And so that's such a beautiful example. I think that will hit home with a lot of parents who maybe have a child that they're not sure what's going on. But they're seeing some concerning signs, whether it's big behaviors, or maybe it's even meltdowns. So talk to talk to those parents a little bit about what are some of the things that like Jarrett's example of getting on the floor, what are some of the things that maybe are your go twos, or some even some different way that you think about the big reaction to the motorcycle, the meltdowns, the frustration that builds in your children, if you have any tools, any tips, any hints, any resources that you turn to, when you have those experiences as parents?

Maria Tipton

You know, I think when you have that, if you haven't already I always say you know, get an evaluation from a qualified occupational therapist because every child's makeup and sensory needs are different and they can let you know if this is something where they may need intervention and then they can help develop a sensory diet but really it is the sensory diet. I mean that a child may need like one you know one of our children really loves swinging a lot like in big gross motor, and where as our other may need You know, some quiet time and like lights out and just kind of reading in a little notebook like, you know, they're like going back and forth, and a body sock and like, you know, and so I think that each child is is so is so different. But once you get to really understand their needs, and then you just make that part of daily, I think when we were back when we were having the big meltdowns and things, a lot of the sensory diet stuff wasn't really we weren't really, we didn't really know. But we didn't know that we could dislike co regulate, like give them whatever, you know, your child likes, like some children may not like to be hugged. But if they do, give them a big hug, or, you know, if you don't have that sensory diet developed yet, like we hadn't at that time, what do they what comforts them in and do that and then seek the professional assistance.

Carrie Schmitt

I love the message of like, know your child and find out what works for them. Like there was something in you Gera that knew that your son needed you to get on the floor with them?

Jerade Tipton

That was a basic situation, because I was like, What do I do here? And my fallback was just hold him, just put your arms around him. Okay. And, and one that one, it is to show you care. And also to show that as a parent, you're relating to them and are not alone. Notice my biggest fear is that he's going through this singular, in his mind a singular situation with multiple inputs going on. And I'm like, what is the one thing I can do? And I went for the simplest thing, and in no way calm him down. But it also, it pulled me into the situation, I'd be honest, it kind of spurred as spurred my journey. He really did. That's when I, you know, you kind of like you get complete buy in on this in the success of your child. And also with all the meeting all the needs they may have at that time.

Carrie Schmitt

I think that brings up an interesting topic, and that is that sometimes one parent just proportionately experiences, some of the, the fallout from sensory processing differences. So the other parent comes in and feels like I don't know what to do, and I'm not as experienced here. And so the importance of, of communicating and have the buy in of both parents to support the progress. To be okay with not knowing, but just kind of jumping in and saying what can I do?

Jerade Tipton

True, it's also opened mine, I'll be honest, Maria had brought when we're going through this process with our sons, Maria brought a lot of things to me. And what I realized is that I had to kind of take the right term, I had to take my own biases. Okay, everybody has their own biases about certain things. And some things you don't know. You don't really notice. I think the term they use metacognition, and that's where you realize, okay, what are my biases? I became a more of a person to recognize that because we're braced up, I was like, Are you sure we really need to do that? I don't know about that, you know? So what it did is it It drove me to have more of an open mind. And then to also think about, okay, why, why am I not so supportive of this one, therapy, or this one thing that needs to happen, or something like this, or this additional diagnosis that's been added on top of all these other diagnosis is, is to keep an open mind. And to realize that any effort you make is only for the benefit of a job.

Carrie Schmitt

That's really lovely. Jerade, I know you have to go because you're working Midnight's. And so you're so gracious to be here, before you go to go to work tonight. But one of the questions that I always ask at the end of the podcast, and I'd love to get your answer before you have to gomis that we play such a high value on Curiosity at star that as the science evolves, and as we learn new things, a lot of times we have to admit our humility, that we don't know everything, but that we're willing to learn. And that means sometimes we have to change our minds. And so what's something that you maybe once thought or believed that you've changed your mind about?

Jerade Tipton

Mine was, I kind of mentioned it earlier was that hey, this is a, this would be a quick fix. It's not a quick fix. I was like, Okay, we'll just do this. And we did, maybe we'll do this for a couple of months, and then they'll be you know, right as rain and everything. That's not true. I don't wear mine and that this again, is this is a it's a progress, it's progress, and it's a journey, and that you must share that journey with your child. For them to be the most successful down the road.

Carrie Schmitt

As beautiful thank you. And Maria and I think we're going continue talking. But it does sound like, as you mentioned earlier, that you have gone on a journey towards joy and that you see in your sons, that they're living full and joyful lives. And so I just want to, you know, just complement that humility that you answer that question with and that you've lived that, to honor that you've lived that.

Jerade Tipton

Thank you very much. And I appreciate you providing the time for us to talk.

Carrie Schmitt

Yes, thanks for being here, I appreciate it. Let's jump back in, I want to make sure that we come full circle with recognizing your son had significant speech delays, you started on the path of getting therapeutic intervention. But I'd love to make sure we capture a little bit about not just the resources that you were able to collect and build a team around him, but how he's doing, you know, what they look like and how successful he is now.

Maria Tipton

One thing I failed to mention is we did have a developmental pediatrician, our initial visit, and she interviewed Jerade and I and said, Okay, um, you know, Samuel is a child that he's going to be a teenager, and I know, you guys as parents, because we had to have like, a two hour, you know, meeting or whatever they need a medical appointment, to, like, he's gonna not even know there was anything at that point, you're like, what is like I don't, I'm just learning everything. And it's really hard. Like, it was hard to see him struggle. But we're, I feel like we're there. And we're there early. But it is definitely possible with, you know, just to basically every child's journey is going to be different. And I just wanted my children to feel comfortable in their body to be able to attend to their daily life. But what happened was pretty successful, says success. I'm not saying the word right. But he was, you know, he was meeting ot goals in a year goal or six year goals in six months. And then he was dismissed from his IEP. And that freed up to where we could send him to school. And that was also just like, that was one of the big moments where like, we knew his, his development was coming to a point where he was progressing. And then really, I think, within the past two years, it has, he's just a, he's just himself, like, he knows what he likes. He feels comfortable. He makes friends very easy, like very social. Like that was one of the things at the very beginning that we were always so concerned about. And then like, when he started kindergarten, I like walked in school, like maybe three months later at a Halloween party. And like Samuel was saying hi to like, a third and fourth grader, like as like you is this child, like, I was so happy. But it was also like this exponentially kind of more, but I also think that it makes those little things like so much more special, because I know, like all the steps he had to take to be able to be that, that that person you like he he's just comfortable in his body. That's to say, but he's very competent. And yeah, I couldn't be happier. You know, I did have to step away from my career for a few years because we wanted to do intensive intervention. And I knew I would go back and I was able to, and I think that's also another like, sign like he, like my children are, are great. They can attend to daily life, and I don't, I don't need to take them to therapy and be able to do that, like carryover everyday that we were doing.

Carrie Schmitt

Yeah, that's so important to bring up to, I think like for parents listening, take us a little bit more on the trajectory of three years old, does not have the speech and language, some red flags are going up. Is that the time that you see the developmental pediatrician?

Maria Tipton

Yes. And we hadn't recognized sensory honestly, it was a great thing that we went for speech and that therapy place had an occupational therapist. So it was like, let me take the evaluation.

Carrie Schmitt

Which is something parents might pick up on because sometimes I think speech in the early intervention model can be the thing that brings families to therapeutic intervention. Because the milestones can be pretty concrete, and practitioners can whether you take them to the pediatrician, the developmental period Nutrition a nurse practitioner, a lot of times the questions around speech can be pretty clearly yes or no. And so that can be your entry point into therapy. And then the speech language pathologist can say, you know, I think maybe we could use a an occupational therapy opinion.

Maria Tipton

Yes.

Carrie Schmitt

Sometimes I think they could be the professionals that say, have you seen a developmental pediatrician.

Maria Tipton

And we had an amazing pediatrician at that time, who said, Hey, let's go ahead and get you on a schedule for a developmental pediatrician. And so, luckily, there was one in the area that didn't have a two year wait, a lot of a lot of places, you can't even find one, right. And so we went through that process. And we, and I think it was a good point that one of our one of our caregivers said, and I just kind of loved it. And she was just like, Samuel is Samuel, like, it doesn't matter what it diagnosis or label is like. And I was like, That's true like that, we wanted the diagnosis for insurance like, and that never defined our son, or either one of their sense. And it's hard to like, say that, Oh, this is a diagnosis or whatever. But that doesn't matter what's on paper that's just for the professional medical community. And it's for insurance purposes, it got us the insurance coverage that we needed to do intensive therapy. And I think that that's important for parents to kind of like if you can wrap your mind around that, like that's a label that is given based on a set of criteria, but your child is so much more than that set of criteria.

Carrie Schmitt

Thank you for saying that. Because I think the diagnosis piece can be very hard and very emotional for parents. And so I love the way you said, you know, Samuel is Samuel, their child is their child. If the diagnosis can get your child the services, they need to live a fuller life to live a more joyful life, then as a parent, use them, right, like use that to get the services that your child needs, but don't get too hung up on the label.

Maria Tipton

Yeah, exactly. I would agree. You know, I think another point, I kind of want to make too is that like, you know, it, it takes, it takes a while, like you're gonna get evaluations. And every time you like I had, unfortunately, fortunately, and unfortunately, like the military is great. That's our life. But the unfortunate part is that I had to fill out that paperwork, so many times, I had to fill it out. And it's very disheartening to have to list the negative qualities when you know that that's not really what you want to see your child as, like, I always loved the question like, like, what's the unique attribute of your child? Or what do you like about them the most, but then you have to list all this other stuff. And then you get evaluations every six months to a year for the insurance, and it like, has all this negative things in it. And that was always hard for me like to get every time I read through those. So

Carrie Schmitt

Thanks for saying that. Because I think that's also something practitioners can take away that we are sending out paperwork, and you know, using that paperwork to inform what evaluation tools you might want to use. But it's really, really important to make sure that we're using string space light language, in our evaluation in our Parent report measures, in our interview of the parents as well, not too only use deficit language, or only use deficit metrics. And when you and I spoke around the time of symposium, one of the things we were talking about is how, how important it is to on the front page of the evaluation captures some of the most wonderful, unique things about the child because the parents are faced with reading reports, maybe annually, maybe every six months that hopefully are capturing progress, but also use deficit based metrics. And so if we could make sure that we're capturing who that child is, what makes them unique, what strengths they have, that are going to support progress, how much easier that report is for you as a parent to digest.

Maria Tipton

Absolutely. You know, and the flipside is, we also have a gifted, he's gifted so like we see so much of that shine, like shine to that there's other things that go along with being gifted, but, you know, like, there's world we're all and I guess it's, let's see, we're all neurodiverse and so that's something that I learned during this process like you know, what is normal? There's everybody has different qualities about them. And so, and we're not going to fit, no one fits a mold. And and it's like those, those unique attributes that you really, like find those even if it's like, a really hard time, like, what is it that is so unique, like, when he was really younger, just like he's, like, so lovable like, now I love his love of learning. Like he's, he takes it to a different level on different things like he knows every country and I'm like, Okay, I didn't, I'm sad to admit like, I don't know that country like, like little small, not not big ones. But

Carrie Schmitt

That's so great. So, you know, to hear even that end of the spectrum, where he was unable to even communicate with you for a while you got involved with intervention and developmental pediatrician said, Just wait, just wait, he's gonna tell you, right, like, Wait till he's a teenager, he won't even know what you've done, because he's gonna, he's gonna be okay. And that message of hope. And now you're telling me he not only learned to communicate, but he is identified as gifted. So he was able to communicate enough to even complete assessments, that we're capturing his intellectual strengths, as well. And so there's so much hope there. For parents who are in the trenches and worried will they ever speak? Will they ever communicate? Will we ever find that special interest, like knowing every country in the world.

Maria Tipton

And you know, and I do want to speak to you because I have a, I have a nephew, who is autistic. And he, he communicates in a different way. He's not verbal, he, he can communicate with his parents very well. But his, you know, his trajectory will be totally different. So I also want to say like, I'm very grateful. So you will develop to who he is. But even, like, if he was, if he was made to be different than that, I would, we would have accepted that and don't like, I just don't want parents to think Oh, everything's, well maybe be like, what you may personally picture like, as what would be like, the end goal, like, you know, meet them where they are. And then like, just recognize and like, celebrate, like, we used to do little celebrations for, like meeting different things that he he wanted to do. And it that's going to look different, the end is going to look different for every family. And our son also has apraxia of speech. And it is amazing that he is where he's at most people would never know. And like sometimes people will say, Do you think he needs some speech therapy? And I'm kind of, well, we've been in speech therapy for six years. And I'm also now that he is nine, I we have a lot more open conversations. And because he's in a school setting, you know, kids may bully because of based on how speeches, it's not. You know, it's not as, as conversational as maybe me like talking, you know, like, there's still ours, there's other things, but I kind of tell him, I say, Well, I mean, I have apraxia of speech, everybody has challenges, and I've worked really hard. So what's your problem? Like, just to advocate for himself? And I, I really hope that that like all all kids can do that and be like, Hey, this is what's going on with me and, you know, be comfortable with where they are.

Carrie Schmitt

I love that. And we were talking earlier about like, oh, how do we capture and highlight their strengths. And you're even saying, like, doesn't communication is what was important to you. And for your nephew, it's nonverbal, but he's bonded and communicating really well with and communicating his wants his needs, and things to the people that love him. And just as you celebrate your son's accomplishments, because he's worked so hard on his individual accomplishments, you know him well enough to know, he worked really hard at that I'm going to celebrate it. It's not always going to look the same for every child, what that accomplishment is, to your point, like, we have expectations, and it's going to look this way, and then this is going to happen, and then this is going to happen. But to stop and just be in awe of what they accomplish. It can be the smallest thing that nobody else would even notice. But you noticed, oh my gosh, he just said hello to kids that are like three or four years older than him. Like that's a huge accomplishment for him. You know, nobody knows the work that went into that. So to know your child to celebrate every little thing that you can, that they worked really hard for.

Maria Tipton

I think that we tell them you've worked really hard so you can you had to work really hard to do some things that just others take for granted. So like remember that and you can do whatever you want to do.

Carrie Schmitt

I like that. And it sounds like at this age, there's even an opportunity for some agency around that, like, what work do you want to do? Like, what are you wanting to focus on right now, if you wanted to get back into intervention, if you want to take a break from intervention, trying to follow their lead a little bit, tell me a little bit about how that developed for your family.

Maria Tipton

Um, so we, we graduate, like graduated, our oldest from therapy, when we moved back to the springs and 2019. And took a break from that. And then we did like a refresher like the, like, basically a little after COVID hit and ended that. And then we let him decide to end that. And he's, we're going to be good with it until he says he wants to maybe if he ever feels that he needs it. And then when in terms of like speech, we did take a break, and he may restart it, like in the near future, but we're going to also let him decide and take ownership of like, do you think that you want to go to speech therapy? Or are you? Or do you think that you're, you're good, where you're at, like, he's done it for so long that he gets to make that decision. And with our youngest, he does, he does have occupational therapy once a week, and we set up a whole sensory gym for them. So I feel like, you know, they're good, they like they go to school, but they can come home and do their whatever they want in that, that sensory gym with their like, or swings. And, you know, I mean, it's kind of like when you start to get into, like, every child has like this, like, you know, they have, have all these fun things. Like I'm like, I definitely didn't have that. But they're able to meet whatever needs they may have. And now I think our youngest will probably say, like, give another six months, and then he'll be fine to just, you know, kind of progress out of therapy. Tell us more about your sensory gym. Like if parents are curious about that. How did you start setting that up? And like, what did you just kind of follow what you knew was good for them. You mentioned like one of your sons loves to swing, you mentioned that another one kind of likes, like a body sock or some you know, restricted kind of pushing and pulling kind of movement. So tell us a little bit about what you have in your gym and kind of how that grew. And when we are in Georgia, we have basically the best PT in the world. She was also neurodevelopment and si trained and like, just had did this for 30 years and had her own physical therapy clinic. And so she brought me in it within like, had the boys like use me and part of the therapy or like sent me snippets, but a lot of it was her gym. And she was like, I think that he could really benefit from a steamroller, my youngest could benefit from a steamroller. And I was like, what is that, and Georgia had family funds available for certain medical equipment that your kids needed, which included certain things and I was like, man, we would have really had bought that. But we didn't really kind of know like, and we like once we had got it, it was such a life changer. But it really was like, therapist directed in terms of like, these are things that would really help their bodies. And then and so when we moved here, we purchased our house, and I was like, I really want to put sweets. But I think my husband was like what, and I did it then he was like, Okay, this is like really good. Like, I got the buy it after I did it and then ask for, you know, for forgiveness later but, and I started taking like I started like looking at online basically at what, what kids used. And then I also asked our therapists, like, what do you think would be good for them. And the military have like a small grant that I was able to use. And then we invested some money and getting like, you know, the mats that they need to have that and we have to crash pads. And you know, they can run and jump on and then follow the swing on and so they have a few swings, they can switch up. And I think like that really has just allowed them to feel really great. Yeah, we have an occupational therapist, that's amazing now and she comes to our home. So it's really nice to have that. So she teaches us like how to use it with like meet the needs at that point of what's needed. And then it has allowed us to, you know, kind of more graduate from like professional therapy, a lot like a lot of professional therapy. They can just do it on their own, now.

Carrie Schmitt

You mentioned early on that you started recognizing the importance of carryover and this is like carryover to the nth degree. Right, like if I have this lifestyle and these things in my home, and if I asked my providers, what should I get? And how should I use it, that the carryover is really supported and maybe leads to needing less appointments and things like that?

Maria Tipton

Absolutely. And you can do it like, you know, you can make one that's not, you know, super elaborate, just have a couple of things that they really need. But I think taking direction from your therapy, like the therapist and your children like, are the two most important pieces to that.

Carrie Schmitt

I love the evolution to the different phases, like when they first started, you needed to go three times a week, until you could build kind of a base of understanding for yourself what their challenges were and how to carry over. But you've mentioned a couple different things. One is that there was a time when you were going to therapies every day, you mentioned an intensive model, you've mentioned now, being able to take breaks from therapy, have a therapist come to your home, like there's all different ways and ways that this might happen. For other people as well, it might not always look like driving to a therapy clinic five days a week, which is super time intensive and finance intensive, and surely, emotionally intensive, as well. So talk a little bit about that. Like, there's all different types of ways to experience intervention, I love for you to talk about the model where you went once or twice a week, and then what the difference is, between that and like an intensive experience.

Maria Tipton

You know, we did the once or twice a week after we moved back here. And then SEMA was in full, full time kindergarten, and I think that he was at a point where that was beneficial. And, and I think the difference is that it's not all encompassing. At that point, like you and you can get the services that you need, I think we did the intensive very early because from what you know, my research is that early intervention, like you know, so much, it pays off in dividends later, and you get so much you so much benefit from it. And so that's why we did that, when they were so young, I think the two days a week is good, like, if you're you know, especially if you have if you have school aged children, or, you know, it also is, is cost and time prohibitive for most people to be able to do that, like, you know, we decided to take that like, I'm not going to work in that to step off our, our table in terms of like how we were going to live our lives, but we made that decision, but the two times a week can help so much. And I think that like there are other there are therapy clinics that offer like short intensives. So you could maybe like you know, take a couple weeks vacation and do that. And then go back to your one to two days a week. And then going from the one to two days to like just one day is was just kind of like I wanted to make sure that we maintained where we're at. And because we had so much work, I wanted to make sure that was good and drifting away, like with none is that I think that I have enough knowledge and my child has enough knowledge about himself that and, and we have the tools, so he doesn't have to have that intervention anymore.

Carrie Schmitt

I like that you're saying like kind of live in the season and see what your kid needs in that season. And when you were in an early intervention, age range of your children, and we're studying what therapy could look like. And you were with your spouse able to say like, maybe I'll stop working and we'll go for this intensive approach. The STAR Institute does have an intensive model. And what that looks like very practically for parents who are listening is that the children would come to star once, depending on their age, sometimes twice a day, for a period of time, that's more like three to six weeks instead of once a week for six months. But there's also a place for the one to two times a week, depending on the season of life you're in. If you're working on a specific goal or really want to accomplish something, sometimes the intensive model can help get you there quicker. But if you're looking to maintain sometimes the once a week model can be really helpful to you. One thing I heard that impacted you the most in experiencing all the different ways you've experienced intervention was being included as a parent. So tell me a little bit I know you've had both experiences were, you were not in the clinic, and then you've had the experience that you've been in the clinic and tell me a little bit about those experiences.

Maria Tipton

You know, and I have thought about that a lot. And I was like you do you meet the child where they are, but you also kind of meet the parent where they are, because sometimes you might be overwhelmed. And a parent just cannot, like, you know, be present there. I think, for me, it was very empowering when our that our OT in Georgia, and she brought me in, in the session that just had me sit on a couch, and kind of watch what was going on and then sent, she actually sent the SOAP Notes home with me, which is the occupational therapy notes from the session. And, like, I just kind of collected him and she had given me things like resources and that kind of stuff. Yeah, she was just kind of, I think she was kind of meet me where I was at. And then, like, a few months, and I started talking to her and like, you know, then I started doing the more at home, like Korea where she'd say do this, and that would be like, okay, and then I like wasn't going to go to the STAR symposium because I can learn a lot and do that at home. Because, um, you know, the, the therapist hasn't like, even in an intensive model three, three hours a week was what like one therapist would do, but I'm with my children, the remainder of the time. And so that's how she included me, our, our physical therapist was amazing. She, she would either have me watch, or like she even had like, my, one of my, my youngest, like, swing me around, and like kind of use me as like, therapeutic heavy work. And then she would catch her on video, and then text me and give a little snippet like, you know, this is what, like we were working on. And like, this is how it helped Gabrielle and then that would remind me and I could look back on my phone at any time. But you know, because like, especially a mom of two that were toddlers, like, I could look at that and say, Okay, well, maybe we can replicate that like, and she would use like things that you would have at your home or give you suggestions. So, um, you know, it was just really empowering. And like, I enjoyed going to those sessions, there was a period of time even with her where it was like, okay, he does better now without me being in there. But having had several sessions or months, there was so great to gain that knowledge as a mom, and then he went off and did it on his own.

Carrie Schmitt

I love the word that used empowering. Because it really, if you meet the parent, where they're at, they're going to feel empowered. And it's such an important piece of it, it doesn't have to look one way. Right? It can look, however, the parent and the therapist, you know, decide it's going to look and you know, you can say sometimes I think he's going to do better without me today. Or you can say, Hey, I'd love to come in, you know? And could you videotape some ideas for me. So from both a parent perspective, and from an intervention in this perspective, all of that sounds great. I think there's something to be learned for everybody there. I feel like I could talk to you about this forever, because I just appreciate your perspective so much. And I appreciate the way that you went all in, you found out about this for your children and got curious about what it could mean for them. But then you started just learning and learning learning and that ended up going to say classes and go to the symposium and then you just followed your curiosity and your passion. And here you are. With, you know, your boys being seven and nine now back at work full time, which at one time didn't feel like it was going to be available to you, and serving as president of the board of directors at the star Institute. So it's just such an inspiring story of going from a really concerned mom to a place where you have knowledge and tools that have really, really impacted your family and now you're turning around and sharing it with other people. So that's super inspiring to me, and I know so many people listening will feel that.

Maria Tipton

Thank you.

Carrie Schmitt

So let's, um, I want to ask you the same question that I got to ask Jerade earlier, in terms of what something that you once believed, that you've changed your mind about.

Maria Tipton

And probably like Jerade I've kind of touched on this a little bit earlier. And but I would say like a a good involved parent knows their child best. You know, you spend more time than any medical professional or therapist with them. And I learned that you really have to advocate and fine find the fit for your child if it's a good fit or an ill fit and like refuse those ill fitted relationships like you would a normal friendship. There was a time when I was like, I just want him to be in therapy and we were. In a place that really was, he was regressing, it was such an ill fit. It doesn't necessarily always speak to the therapist, but it's that relationship because your child may need a different therapist for whatever reason, especially if there's these additional needs, like maybe it's just not messing in whatever way, but don't be afraid to be like, Okay, I need to step away and find a good fit. And that may mean not having therapy for a couple of months, or a month or whatever, you know, but really advocate and get involved in know that know, the professionals that are seeing your child and kind of just pick up on if, if they're progressing like you would hope. Or if they're regressing in, there's going to be regression, even in good therapy, but overall.

Carrie Schmitt

Thank you for saying that. Because I do think that's one thing I like to give parents permission to do is a be the expert in their child, and be, have a voice in whether or not this is a good fit, and build a team around your child that has all the ingredients of good relationship that are gonna support your child's progression and know that it's okay to say, this isn't a good fit, we're gonna go find some something that is a good fit. So thank you for saying that. I really appreciate that. Well, thank you so much for all that you do for STAR and on the Board of Directors, but also in the way that you share the message of sensory processing and sensory health and wellness.That the way that you turn around to other people and offer your story as a beacon of hope to them, and as an inspiration to them, that you poured into your family. And the result is that you learned a tremendous amount about who they are and can love them better as who they are. So it's very, very important for parents and interventionists. I like to hear these personal stories instead of well. I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing it today.

Maria Tipton

Thank you, Carrie. I really appreciate your time.

Calls-to-action:

Learn more about STAR Institute by visiting https://sensoryhealth.org/ where you can subscribe to our email list and find out more about our educational offerings

Find us on YouTube at STAR Institute https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFVd3oVz4icMcZAZDwvHwBA?vie w_as=public

Find us on Instagram @starinstitute

Find out more about Maria Tipton: https://sensoryhealth.org/basic/board-of-directors

Find the host, Carrie Schmitt, on Instagram @carrieschmittotd

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