Managing Grief in the Workplace

Carrie Greene talks about her experience watching the World Trade Center Towers fall on September 11th and the aftermath of helping those crossing the Hudson River to escape the horrors of that fateful day.

As someone who worked in the World Trade Center as well as for the New York Stock Exchange, she and her fellow employees felt the events of that day on a very personal level. Carrie knew many people in the area around the Trade Center that day who traveled daily into New York City. In addition to that, her boss had been at Canter Fitzgerald the day before conducting business in the Center.

She and her fellow employees watched as the awful events unfolded from the big beautiful picture windows overlooking the Hudson River

from their Jersey City, NJ office. Carrie talks about watching the first tower fall, objects falling from the building, which she later would know, were people jumping to escape the flames and 29 minutes later watching the second tower fall.

Carrie outlines some crucial points for managers to understand about grief and about handling an ongoing crisis in the workplace.

Her company did many things that reflect a caring, compassionate attitude that helps employees handle crisis and grief. Listen to hear three things her company did right to enhance the employer and employee relationship during a very difficult period of time.

Jeffery Veatch talks about living with the painful loss of his son Justin a talented musician who tragically died of an accidental drug overdose at the age of seventeen and how he and his wife, Marina struggled with surviving.

Jeffery describes the unbearable moments he experienced after reaching work early one morning and being told to return home immediately. He doesn’t know how he was able to drive home that fateful morning but goes on to describe pulling up to his home and seeing the coroner’s van in his driveway and viewing his son’s body.

Jeffery talks about Justin’s normal, happy childhood and how his passion and talent for music grew with him into his teen years. When Justin slipped into drug experimentation and addiction, his parents did all they could to support and keep him out of drugs.

Today, Jeffery honors his son by taking the love he has for Justin and sharing his story as a way to keep others from the same fate. Through a foundation set up in Justin’s honor, speaking to young adults, and sharing the beautiful music his son wrote and recorded, Jeffery and his family are making a difference in the midst of one of the worst drug crises we have experienced as a nation.

Pat Werscherl talks about how downsizing affected her and her team, which she considered to be like family. During a large corporate merger and subsequent layoffs, Pat and her team experienced many of the emotions associated with grief. She talks about the denial that the company would actually be sold and the anger she experienced when the sale was completed to finally accepting the changes.

The lack of assigned work to focus on each day along with the ongoing changes and many distractions led to lethargy, lost focus, and some serious, costly mistakes. The company did nothing to help their employees constructively deal with the emotions of grief and loss and this made the situation much worse. Effective Grief in the Workplace coaching would have lessened the negative impact to the employees and the company.

Dale White, breast cancer survivor, discusses her fear surrounding her diagnosis and subsequent treatment while maintaining her work responsibilities as a visiting nurse. She chose to be very open with her work peers about her cancer and treatment as a way to cope with her fear of dying. Dale talks about how supportive her co-workers and managers were during this challenging time and how that support aided her recovery.

Dale’s journey through breast cancer lead her ultimately to a decision to help others also going through cancer treatment and recovery which enabled her to continue to work, but also to understand the valuable lesson her illness continues to play out in her life. She offers extraordinary insight and suggestions to managers who may have an employee going through cancer treatment and the loyalty engendered by their support.

Susana Fonticoba, widowed at 42, talks about grieving her husband’s death and her return to work. Sitting among a large group of co-workers, she struggled with balancing her need for privacy and the many inappropriate personal questions and comments that she endured.

Susana’s discussion highlights that some people in grief want to be comforted and want to share. And as in Susana’s case, others prefer to grieve privately. She offers a number of suggestions for speaking to a grieving person that helps them feel comforted and welcomed back into the workplace as a fully functioning member of the team.

Ilene Green about her elderly Mom’s growing need for care and how that need drained Ilene’s attention from her business and customers. In addition, the decision to put her Mom in assisted living required walking through childhood memories as she and her brother cleared out their childhood home. Adding to the mental and emotional stress was her Mom’s Alzheimer’s progression and the many difficult decisions.

Ron Gold talks about a bike ride that put him on a path he never expected to take and forever changed his life. After being hit and seriously injured by a SUV, Ron's successful 25-year career on Wall Street ended abruptly. He went through five months of hospitalization and therapy and returned home to begin a new life that depended on full-time care. That need set him on the path of entrepreneurship that today has helped thousands who have similar needs. Coach Linda explores his decision to leave his job on Wall Street despite managers who would have eagerly accepted him back to his prior job and instead start his company Lean On We.

Christine Clifton about the many depressing losses she experienced in the space of a year. With the support of her manager, Christine was able to overcome a serious illness, pet loss, divorce, and a residence change. With therapy, she was able to identify a path through the stress and grief.

Kim Luthy about her grief journey encompassing her divorce, her 5-year-old son’s yearlong illness and her father’s eldercare needs. Kim talks about how caring and compassionate her manager and team were in supporting her through some of her most difficult days. As a grateful employee, she reflects back on the compassionate support she received during a difficult grief period in her life and how her team and manager supported her.

Shannon DePalma about the tragic loss of her former coworker who committed suicide. They felt the loss deeply and were saddened by the manager’s passive reaction. In a small office where everyone knows each other so well, employees feel especially close to one another and should be allowed time to grieve, process and heal from such a traumatic loss.