Her husband collapsed beside her while cutting a tree. In minutes, the life she loved was gone — and she had to learn what to do when the world stops.

🎧 Episode Description

Chaco Fairbanks isn’t a man, but her story speaks to every man who’s ever loved deeply and lost hard.

Nine months ago, her husband Cody died suddenly while they were remodeling a house in the Smoky Mountains.

In this conversation, she walks us through that day — the CPR, the hospital, the silence afterward — and what grief really feels like when the shock wears off.

Chaco talks about guilt, faith, what to say (and not say) to someone who’s grieving, and why the worst thing you can do is “give them space.”

She opens up about learning to live again, traveling, finding meaning, and making decisions that point toward the future without letting go of the past.

This is one of the most tender and needed episodes we’ve ever recorded.

It’s not about death — it’s about love, presence, and how to keep breathing when half your world is gone.

⚠️ Content Warnings

Sudden death, CPR discussion, trauma, grief, survivor’s guilt, references to suicidal thoughts in others.

🧭 Highlights

• The day everything changed — and how she handled it minute by minute
• “Give them space” is the worst advice
• What real support looks like when someone’s grieving
• Why crying is healthy — and silence isn’t
• How she started living again, one decision at a time
• The guilt, the therapy, and the slow return of hope
• Love that’s fierce enough to still echo every day
• “The worst thing people did was give me space. I needed voices, not silence.”
• “You don’t get over someone like that. You just learn to carry them differently.”
• “I talk to him at night. Maybe he hears me, maybe he doesn’t — but I do.”
• “Life is precious. Don’t wait to love the people you love.”

Chaco Fairbanks, sudden death, widowhood, grief recovery, CPR story, losing a spouse, survivor’s guilt, emotional healing, therapy after loss, Jewish mourning tradition, sitting Shiva, women’s perspective, men supporting widows, crying and vulnerability, Manalizing podcast, Garth Haslem

🧠 Resources Mentioned

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — dial 988 (U.S.)
• Local grief-support or widows’ groups
• Manalizing.com — join a tribe, learn to lift and be lifted

If Chaco’s story touched you, share this episode with someone who’s lost someone — or someone who’s afraid to reach out.

Then visit Manalizing.com and find a tribe.

No one should have to carry loss alone.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/manalyzing/donations