Pele grew up between ocean calm and street violence on Oahu’s North Shore—where respect was enforced, tempers ran hot, and boys learned to win by force. In this raw, grounded conversation, he and host Garth Haslem unpack the moments that shaped him: learning to surf, shouldering a young father’s shame when the money didn’t pencil, and the nights he sat in the backyard “talking to the moon” because unloading on his family would do more harm than good.

They go straight at the hard stuff—Christmas blow-ups, leaving the house to keep from doing damage, driving the long loop around the lake until the rage drains out, and then doing the everyday work that prevents the next blow-up: relationship first, correction last. Pele talks about self-betrayal, breaking inherited cycles, and why no man can afford to live as an island.

If you’ve ever felt outmatched by your own anger or alone in your responsibility, this episode offers a quiet blueprint: step away, tell the truth, repair, and build the kind of relationship that can carry your love across.

Episode highlights

• Surfing vs. football: why the ocean stills a fighting heart
• “Talking to the moon”: praying, venting, and staying out of jail (and out of your kid’s face)
• The Change Pyramid: fix problems before they’re problems—relationship → teaching → only then correction
• Self-betrayal and integrity: why how you act changes how you feel in your own skin
• Men aren’t islands: how to build wingmen and be one

Pele Manalizing, North Shore Hawaii, Samoan culture, breaking generational cycles, anger management for men, fatherhood and discipline, men’s mental health, talking to the moon, Anatomy of Peace, relationships first, masculinity and vulnerability

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