Mandy Lehto

Ever said, “No worries, all good” while your insides screamed otherwise? That’s not weakness. That was your nervous system doing its genius, trauma-sourced thing: fawning. In this episode, author and clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton shows us that fawning isn’t a personality flaw—it’s a self-abandonment pattern we can gently unlearn, because it’s costing you. Big time. We get into why fawning isn’t actually “being nice.” You’ll learn how it shows up day to day, and how you can start building safety from the inside out, so saying “No”, or being in conflict doesn’t feel so terrifying. If you’re regularly “fine with whatever,” or feel unable to express preferences, objections and big emotions, you’re going to want to listen to this.

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You’re used to pushing hard – in fact, your identity is built on it. What happens when your body forces you to stop? Who are you then? That’s what happened to psychologist Jo Rodriguez, a behind-the-scenes TV expert, marathon runner, and mum who loved being called a machine. One day, what seemed like a simple illness forced her to slow down. She continued her relentless routine, and the mystery illness kept reappearing until the pain became unbearable, and Jo’s heart nearly doubled in size. After a diagnosis of pericarditis, she lay in hospital wondering if she’d ever feel worthy again. Could she find a new way of being without her super-achiever identity? In this raw, moving conversation, Jo shares what it was like to go through the stages of grief, the self-doubt, the false surrenders, and the small shift that finally started opening a new way of being.

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If you’ve ever over-functioned in a romantic relationship hoping to feel enough, this episode is for you. My guest is Dr Natalie Cawley, psychotherapist, counselling psychologist and author of Just About Coping: A real-life drama from the psychotherapist’s chair. Natalie shares openly about her own challenges with over-giving in her personal relationships, showing that we’re ALL prone to struggles – even therapists! We get into the *real* reason you keep over-giving, and how to finally stop it. Listen out for my own cringey/I-have-so-much-compassion-for-my-younger-self moment with an emotionally unavailable partner. This conversation feels like a warm, honest hug, with a gentle kick in the ash.

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Ever said, “No worries, it’s fine,” when it absolutely wasn’t fine?

Or maybe you’ve pushed down your needs and shape-shifted into whoever you thought you needed to be in a particular situation. That’s not kindness. That’s fawning—people-pleasing’s sneakier, brain-based cousin.

In this episode, neuroscientist and author of Rewire, Nicole Vignola, joins me for a juicy, no-fluff convo about why we fawn, what’s going on in the brain when we do it, and how to unhook from this exhausting survival pattern. Nicole shares real talk from her own relationships, where she caught herself over-functioning, then said the magic word: “Enough.”

Expect science, self-awareness, and some serious permission to want more. Nicole creates a practical de-fawning practice to help you shift out of appeasement and into enoughness.

Tune in now. Because “fine” is officially cancelled.

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Reinvention often stirs up a storm—self-doubt, not-enoughness, the old habits of perfectionism and overworking. We think we have to earn our way out of stuckness. But what if the answer wasn’t in doing more—but in needing less? What if your enoughness was right there in plain sight, but you’ve been looking for it in the wrong places?

This week, I’m joined by the glorious Donna Ashworth: poet, best-selling author, and queen of reinvention. She’s been a music industry exec, a magazine journalist, a business owner (of a children’s play centre) —and through each chapter, she’s rewritten what it means to feel enough.

By using her poet’s eye, Donna has mastered the art of being easily pleased—finding beauty in the ordinary, and joy in the small. And in doing so, she’s removed the pressure to get reinvention “right.”

If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or like it’s too late to start over… this conversation will feel like a deep exhale.

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Donna Ashworth on Instagram

Mandy Lehto on Instagram

Julia Baird episode

What actually holds you together when life blindsides you? Maybe it’s a breakup. A diagnosis. Or the crushing weight of everything right now. If you’re wired for hustle, your first instinct might be to work through it—to push harder, achieve more, be exceptional. What if the answer wasn’t in doing more, but in seeing oneself as LESS? Wait, what? Julia Baird—broadcaster, journalist, and bestselling author—gets it. She loves being hyper-productive. But when her world cracked open, she didn’t seek solace in success. Instead, she discovered the power of her shrinking self and the practice of deliberately seeking awe.

In this episode, we dive into the joys (and downsides) of hyper-productivity. We examine “the shrinking self”— and why it might be your secret weapon during tough times. We talk about the sustaining power of deep friendships, ocean swimming and dancing. You’ll also learn what Julia has recently said “ENOUGH!” to and felt better for it. You know those episodes where you take notes, read the transcript, and listen twice? This might be one of them.

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Julia Baird’s Ted talk, The Power of Feeling Small.

Julia on Instagram.

Mandy on Instagram.

Dacher Keltner’s book, Awe

The Guardian article: Why we should stop wishing we were special – and celebrate being ordinary.

You’re all out of give, and even the smallest request can spark an outsized reaction: DON’T YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM? Go away! Anger feels right under the skin, and the slightest provocation can unleash it – anything from loud chewing to an urgent email. You used to be fun. Things didn’t used to annoy you like this. You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” So, you try to do more to finish your never-ending list. Then you’ll rest. But you find yourself ever more exhausted and reactive. Doing more is not the answer. This solo Coaching Corner episode will show you what is…We dive into your nervous system, your hormones, and having a cold, hard look at your true capacity. You’ll leave with some powerful coaching questions to help turn down the hair-trigger-ness of your annoyance.

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On the outside, Dr Mel Hicks (47) had it all. She’s been a global philanthropist for two decades. She’s a published author, keynote speaker, and has travelled to 44 countries. But another failed marriage, and an emergency hysterectomy threw Mel into shame and self-doubt. She was alone again, and she’d never be a mother – and she blamed herself. As a high-achiever and a self-proclaimed “runner” from her problems, Mel dove into her charity work, and drank and partied so she wouldn’t have to face her feelings of not-enoughness. She finally had to confront the big emotions she’d been running from. Can she find a new way of relating to herself if she’s not a mom, and still feel enough? Let’s find out…

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Melanie Sue Hicks’s website and book

Mel on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Operating from fear and scarcity means you’re not reading life accurately. The same is true if you’re moving through life guided solely by intellect – head wisdom – ignoring the superior wisdom of the other senses. My guest is spiritual teacher and NYT best-selling author, Sonia Choquette, who shares some practices from her new book, Read Life Accurately. She helps us to tune into our energetic alerts, within ourselves, others, and the places we work and live in. More and more scientific research supports what intuitive practitioners have known all along – that being connected to our bodily sensations, listening to those “nudges” can help us perform better in high-pressure environments, manage stress, and make less impulsive decisions.

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Is your measure of success focused purely on your own achievements? Maybe you’re at a time in your life when you’re questioning legacy, purpose, and who you are beneath your job title. Maybe you’re thinking about what it means to contribute and to matter in society.

Baroness Lola Young was one of the first black women members of the House of Lords. She’s been an actress, an academic, and a cross-bench peer. She’s also an active campaigner against modern slavery and unethical fashion. Her new book, Eight Weeks, an account of being raised in foster care and children’s homes between the ages of eight weeks and 18 years.

In this conversation I talk to Lola about the influence of her challenging past on her identity and choice of career. We probe into what it means to matter – I’m curious if mattering might be an antidote to the hyper-individualization, loneliness and disconnection so many people are feeling. What could “mattering” look like in your own life? Could being of service (more intentionally) help you to feel enough? Let’s find out.

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